Captured from the balcony of my house! Click on pic, for larger clearer view!

Thank you all for following, visiting and reading this space and being a great virtual source of support & inspiration throughout the year 2011. Hope this bonding continues, for years to come!

Wish you all a very Happy & Prosperous New Year…with better things coming your way that you’d expect to. Hope you answer that every knock on the door of opportunity!

A lot of things has been reported by our media this year, not sure but if all that has actually happened or not! Let me note what I think are the 10 most important (and remembered) events of 2011:

Note: Do not hate me (like you love me) if you feel my top 10 events are not so important and in your list! XoXo

1. It felt like there was a worldwide recession, what with everyone I met talking about losing jobs. Later I realized that they were talking about the death of Steve Jobs. I didn’t know him personally, but since everyone around were emotional I shed a tear too. However I still listen music on my Sony mp3 player.

2. Anna Hazare came out of nowhere and took the nation by awe with his anti-corruption campaign before it seemed to look like an anti-congress campaign and then like an anti-constitutional campaign amidst many other looks.
Rumor is that, come 2012 and the regional TV channels in the south will have primetime reality shows dedicated to him, some titled “Kaun banega Kalyug ka Gandhi?”, “Anna ka Swayamvar”, etc.
Note: Don’t feel bad, if I can’t find time to write this article because I see some work for me in 2012, thanks to the Anna reality shows.

3. India won the Cricket World Cup after 28 long years, but by Jeejuss I assure you that Poonam Pandey had nothing to do with inspiring the Indian team to win the quarter & semi-finals. I remember that day very clearly because the make-up on my face was all messed up as I had cried seeing Sachin Tendulkar being carried around the Wankhade on the shoulders of his teammates.
Sadly, the enthusiastic cricketers who lifted ‘God’ that day find themselves out of the team for various reasons. Sunny Deol shared what he calls ‘ander ki baat’, the Inside Joke – “Better go underground, than go down under”! LOL

4. The World population crossed 7 Billion this year and Indians did the best they could and saw to it that the 7Billionth child was our citizen. Up yours, China!

5. A lot many creative people died this year, which had me worried. Abhishek Bachchan assured me that we didn’t have to worry about it that much!
But then I feel bad about our country losing some of its brightest stars. Rest in peace, all their souls. May Jeejusss give them all a place in his heart.

6. We had so many scams this year that I’ve lost a count of it.
Another thing I’ve lost a count of is the number of rip-offs of the stupid (as the singer called it) soup song ‘Why this Kolaveri Di?’ that anyone-can-sing!!

7. I was shocked to know that Aamir Khan had a baby, without his wife getting pregnant. I was thinking for long long time, “Jeeejusss, what this world has come to?” before Rahul baba explained to me about this surrogacy thing.

8. I don’t know what point Veena Malik wanted to make. Posing in your birthday suit is ok, but why did she allow someone to write ISI on her forearm using a cheap temporary tatoo ink??! No wonder ISI and its mistress Pakistan were annoyed by her, for taking the “cheap publicity is afterall publicity” legend a little too far.
I really can’t understand some stupid women.

9. I don’t know much about politics but I know 2 things for sure about Kapil Sibal. One, he has a soft spot for Sonia Gandhi and two, he’s jealous of ManMohan Singh. When there are so many unsolved issues for the politicians to clear, I don’t know why Kapil Sibal waste his time searching for doctored images & videos of Sonia-ManMohan on social networking sites.

10. Coming to my own self, I proposed to a lot many men and tried to get married but alas! There are still aplenty over-eligible men whom I can propose/re-propose in 2012 like Rahul Baba, Ratan Tata (post retirement), Yuvraj Singh, among others. If any of you dear men out there would love to confirm your eligibility, say “I do” in the comment section and I’ll take care of the proposal. Experienced, you see!! <3 XoXo

Wish you all a very Happy New Year. See you in 2012!! May Jeejjusss Bless you!!
All of Yours, Rakhi!

There wouldn’t have been a better song than Naka Muka, to have possibly given the effect it did at the start of the movie. It made the viewers sit up and go awe even right before the first scene was screened!!!

Failures were not new for the protagonist, Reshma. For starters, being born as a girl was her biggest failure.

Having run away (literally) a day before her marriage from her birth home in Andhra Pradesh to ‘Madras’, she managed to find herself a god-mother who would look after her as if she was her own daughter. Reshma wanted to be a dancer in the film world and there came a point during her struggle where she was ready to do ANYTHING to land herself a song in the movie. Reshma grabs herself a chance, when an item girl happens to go missing from a pre-scheduled shoot. She impresses the assistant director with her antics – pouted lips licking itself, pelvic thrusts – but it so happens that the director Abraham (Emraan Hashmi) decides to cut the song off during the final movie edit. Abraham is a strong believer in his directorial skills who believes that his movies can run by itself and don’t need any masala! The producer SelvaGanesh thinks otherwise, for he’s concerned with the profits his movies would make and so re-releases the movie, this time including Reshma’s song. This is the first time that the testosterone driven Indian male gets the taste of Reshma, who is henceforth re-christened as “Silk” by the producer.

The story evolves with Silk becoming the most sought-after item girl. It shows how success brings with it the expectations, the pressures, the competition, the egos and for someone who’s not able to handle it well, the downfall.

Naseeruddin Shah plays the evergreen superstar ‘Suryakanth’ (ring any bell???) who likes Silk, but definitely not for her dancing/acting skills. Balaji Telefilm’s very own superstar Tusshar Kapoor plays ‘Ramakanth’, a script-writer and the younger brother of Suryakanth.

Without any doubt, Vidya Balan (who plays Reshma/Silk) happens to be the “HERO” of the movie and has done a wonderful job portraying Silk Smitha’s character. The way she evolves during the movie, from being a thin & dreamy Reshma to an eventually pot-bellied ‘B-grade Silk’, shows her commitment of getting into the character. As someone rightly stated, Vidya Balan is the female Aamir Khan when it comes to preparing and playing character roles.

Naseeruddin Shah didn’t seem to have more scope to perform and has delivered a decent performance. However he was best when he wasn’t dancing.
Emraan Hashmi has done a decent job as Silk’s on-your-face critic. However towards the end, he manages to remember who he actually is and religiously does justice to his ‘Serial Kisser’ tag.
Tusshar Kapoor, should stop acting. Period.

The songs in the movie may not be on everyone’s lips but it fits in well with the flow of the movie. Except for one song featuring Emraan, none of them seem to be forced. The song “Oo la la” sung by Bappi Lahiri along with Shreya Goshal deserves an applause.

There are dialogues in the first half that are very cheeky, pun-filled and below the belt but it tones down as the film progresses.
Picture this: She shows her photographs to the casting director and says “Main kuch bhi karne ko tayyar hoon. Main aapko woh bhi dikha sakti hoon jo inn photo mein nahi hey!” (I am ready to do anything. I can show you what is not there in these photographs!).

My Rating: 4/5. A must watch if you are 18+ and interested in biographical tragedies.

Ok, so to say the truth I’m jobless now - what with the main actresses taking away all the item numbers – huh. Twenty-seven seems to be the new Sixty, for I feel like I’m retired. I needed this column to rant off all the stuff on my mind and keep it refreshed. Thanks to this blogger and double thanks to his readers, for you are my new fans…take it or leave it, you can’t ignore it.

Jeeeeeeeeejuuuuussssssssssssss!!! (We have learnt in our younger days that we need to remember the lord every time we start something new. Brings you, the entire luck shuck!)

1. It’s a crime to let your fans down. I’ve always tried my best to keep them happy, even if the best surgeons came overpriced. However recently, my fans were disappointed for no fault of mine. They were heart-broken to not find me in the star-cast of the movie “Rakh(i)star”. I have better facial expressions than Nargis Fakhri, if not a better face.
2. I’m thinking of joining politics if Maya di sends me an invite. Now that she has divided Uttar Pradesh into four states, I could cash in on a ministerial berth. My childhood dream has been to become the Prime Minister of India. Someday.
3. I hate this Poonam Pandey. She’s taking my fans away from me. What I don’t have that she has? Indian men have such a bad taste. Huh!
4. The Sensex is falling, for no reasons. When Poonam Pandey can take credit for uplifting the spirits of the Indian Cricket team, why can’t she shed some clothes so that our Sensex & Nifty gets up and running…? Uski toh main!!!
5. By God, I was the perfect fit for the lead role of ‘Dirty Picture’; why go for Vidya Balan when you have such a natural fit like me? Life is so unfair!!!
6. Men are commitment-phobic when it comes to me. No one wants to marry me. I’ve made some high profile proposals – Salman Baba, Ramdev Baba, Rahul Baba, et all – but nothing’s worked out. I’m now wondering, if not men then who?!
7. I’m very happy about Aishwarya Rai Bachchan delivering a baby girl for I prayed the last 8 months for her safe delivery. If I get to marry someone like Abhishek Bachchan, even I would get a baby girl with blue eyes. Amen
8. I lost a chance to work with Aamir Khan recently as I was in the rest room for 4 hours. Bad stomach!
9. Someone has hacked my Facebook account. So if any of you guys receive my friend request, it’s just another fraaaaand request…you can be my friend(cum fan) here….xoxo…
10. I was praying for Sachin’s 100th century in fully covered traditional Indian clothing. Seems like Poonam Pandey will finally have the last laugh!   What a ColaWorry I say?!!!

I got such nice writing style no? Hope you fans liked the sharing of my thoughts in this article. May Jeeejussssss bless you, always!

Being experienced and having done it all – churn out stories, argue with random people within the 140 character limit, advise strangers even when they haven’t asked for it, write newspaper columns just cos Ms. De writes it – I was confident about my dealings with God when the right time arrived. After-all, I’m the one and only Chetan Bhagat.

So when God appeared in front of me: 
God: “So I hear from my secretary that you deserve to be punished, for you’ve committed a sin. A silly one, I’d like to point out.”
Me: “Oh lord, I realize that I did a mistake by arguing with someone of the same blood. Pardon me with minimal punishment, if at all. Please take into consideration that I dedicated the entire climax of my second book to your character.”
God: “Hmmm…no negotiations would suffice for I’ve already decided on your punishment. Your punishment is that you’d turn into your own reader for a day and review your upcoming fifth book – Revolution2020 – and give an honest opinion.”
Me: “Oh no! The book is ready for release. If I had known earlier that this would have happened, I would have written it better!”
God: “ROFL…I know that, but this is my way of a practical punishment. By the way, to make you feel a little better, my secretary is a big fan of your books. Silly girl.”

And here is what I submitted to God as a reader’s review of my own book:

As I finished reading the book, I immediately made note of these 3 pointers I learnt from Chetan Bhagat:
1. Everyone has a story to tell if one is ready to listen, be it on a train or inside a hospital room.
2. While narrating a story, description of the plot/place matters – even if the story seems/remains to be the same.
3. Sex sells.

I felt the book has been written with 70mm celluloid dreams in mind (UTV, today bagged the movie rights of the book!!). Gopal, Aarti and Raghav are the three main characters in the storyline while politician Shukla-ji is another typical character.
 
Love, Corruption and Ambition seem to be the trinity that cooks up this book.

Gopal is an IITJEE entrance exam failure who is in love with Aarti, while she loves Raghav, an IITJEE rank holder. Gopal struggles enough to find it hard to secure an IITJEE ranking and gives up hope of graduating ever, owing to family and financial issues. Raghav, on the other hand takes up engineering only to graduate before moving towards his love – journalism.

While Gopal and Raghav deal with their lives, Aarti fills the void in the plot by going out on boat rides with best friend Gopal and movie dates with her now boyfriend Raghav. As Raghav graduates as an engineer, Gopal gets along with politician Shukla-ji to take care of the “Corruption” part of the trinity.      

As the plot builds, Gopal with political backup goes on to become the director of his own Engineering college – GangaTech – while Raghav faces the ups and downs of being a reporter who takes on corrupt politicians in the name of Revolution! Gopal’s ambition is to own several educational institutes while Raghav’s ambition is to bring about a revolution of a clean & corruption free India by the year 2020. In the meanwhile, Aarti is in a very confused ambition-less situation.

How Gopal lures Aarti under his cosy blanket, only to feel sorry for Raghav and how he forces Aarthi towards Raghav forms a major part of the climax.

As I finished the book, I felt pity for Aarti – for she didn’t deserve the way she was treated. Her character was clean and innocent till about 80% of the book only to be ripped apart in the rest of the book, thus justifying my learning #3. Whether the editor forced such an end to her character or whether Chetan himself did that to her, is something I was left pondering about.

The only plus point about Chetan’s books among the IIT-IIM-Banker-Doctor-Graduate authors of India, is that the usage of English is simple and good…unlike the others who leave behind a lot many grammatical errors and typos, much to irritation of the reader.

My rating: 2/5.

Disclaimer: God forwarded this review to me, for he owed me one! I’m in no way responsible for any direct references to any person, dead or alive, gay or straight, male or female or otherwise.No offense was meant, if felt.

Note: No couples were separated in the making of this post.

It was a lovely Saturday morning when there was a knock on the door. Looking through the ‘peep hole’, I could see an old lady standing on the other side of the door. Asking my wife to open the door, I quickly ran in towards the bedroom to find a decent enough t-shirt to cover up my torso. As I returned to the living room, I happened to see my wife closing the door having received something from the old lady.
Me: “Who was she?”
Wife: “That aunty is a neighbor, who lives in the next building. Her son is getting married and came to invite us.”
Me: “Oh! That’s nice. Do you know her?”
Wife: “No, never spoken to her. But I give her a smile every evening when I return from office.”
Me: “Smile friend eh? Haha…good! Pass me the invitation.”

On getting the invite, I stood there a little confused and I guess it showed on my face.
Wife: “What happened? Why THE look?”
Me: “Well, did you read what’s written on the cover?”
Wife: “No. What’s so unusual about an invitation?”
Me: “Have we met or seen her son, by any chance?”
Wife: “Ya ya, remember the guy who smiles at us as we wait to catch our respective office buses? Same fellow!”
Me: “No wonder, I always had an intuition!”
Wife: “Why? What’s written on the invite?”
Me: “It reads – KARTHIK WEDS KRISHNA – and which among these, is her son?”
Wife: “I don’t know!”

I had not yet opened the card, as I was a little amused along with all the confusions that prevailed.
A moment of silence later:
Me: “Must say, that family has a very modern thought process. I’d never heard of a same-sex marriage being conducted with family blessings and in full tradition. And then the mother of the groom errr…one of the grooms…inviting the neighbors, is totally out of the blue!”
Wife: “Agreed. Inviting the neighbors is a daring step.”
Me: “I wonder which side takes care of the preparations, like the girl’s side does in a usual matrimony.”
Wife: “Why are you wondering? Are you planning to attend?”
Me: “This is something new. So I’m actually excited to know details from what happens at the ceremony, who plays the lead and who follows, who ties the knot to whom and who ends up going to whose home at the end of the ceremony.”
Wife: “Sigh!”

The card, on opening, was like a paper format of a rainbow – with lots of colors used for the various fonts.
The names of KARTHIK and KRISHNA were printed in bold with KRISHNA in Bright Pink! It was a like that moment when Archimedes jumped out of his bath tub, oblivious to the open eyes around. Eureka!
Me: “Hey wifey, you know what? Krishna is the follower in this case. I had guessed it to be Karthik. My bad, as usual.”
Wife: “How do you know that?”
Me: “Krishna is printed in bold fonts and bright pink color on the card! So open about their sexuality, must say. Hats off to India Rising!”
Wife: “Who cares!!!!”

As I started reading the invite, word by word, the excitement of ‘something new’ slowly died a silent death.
Me: “Oh you know what?!”
Wife: “Now what?”
Krishna, actually turned out to be the name of the gal in this pair, for under her bold name in pink was printed in a smaller italicized font “Youngest D/o Mr…………..”!!
Me: “Nothing, leave it. We will anyway not be here that weekend.”
Wife: “I knew that already, but then if we were here – would you have attended this marriage?”

‘Let the mystery be alive’, so I thought and replied with “Who would let go of such an opportunity to attend the same-sex marriage? Such a nice post it would make on my blog!” as I heard her silently nod her head with a loud sigh of a thought!!

I would be devastated, to find my hair
fallen on the floor, here and there…
And then I’d see more of it on the bed
instead of just sitting tight on my head!

Friends said, ‘Even Sachin has a curly mop of hair’
but I know maintaining it like him was a costly affair,
for he’s super rich & got that god-gifted talent
while all I can do is envy him and simply lament!

I wish there was an andriod app
which would cover my head in every pic with a cap!
There is a FB app to check out the futuristic look
I came all bald in that, so had to logout of Facebook!
I wonder if there is any such software…
That would treat me all fair and square!

Well, then I googled, “Hair, how to repair?”
and the search engine was kind enough to share,
the secrets that would get me out of despair,
with promises to nourish it with utmost care!

For weeks, I followed the instructions at every wash…
Enhanced with Vita-Oils, it seemed to glow all posh…
The curly mop was now smooth and easy to manage…
The birdy shampoo as promised, made it resilient to damage!

So what now?
Yes, I’ve still got this curly mop of hair
to maintain how, I am all aware!
It makes me feel soft like a teddy bear,
Smooth and handsome, with dreams of being debonair!!!

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I’ve been using Dove products, for close to six years now and when I saw this contest on Indiblogger, I just jumped in to participate!! So this is my entry to Indiblogger’s “Love is a two way street: Love your hair and it loves you back!” contest!!

Also published @ Authspot (link: HERE)

A third city in India gets the Metro Railway for city travel.
After Kolkata and New Delhi, Bangalore became the first city in South India to have its own Metro railway all set and run.

The first phase of metro chirstened as “Namma Metro” (our metro) will be officially inaugrated and available for public run from 3pm IST today (20th Oct 2011). This is the first stretch among others of the 42KM connectivity planned for the city of Bangalore. This stretch provides a link between MG Road (Mahatma Gandhi Road) and Byapanahalli!!

For a terrible conjested (traffic wise) city, this is expected to be a welcome relief. The metro wil currently run between 6am and 11pm IST with trains scheduled every 10 mins in the peak hours.

With all of the 42km stretch to be ready by end of 2013, I do hope for a smooth travel across the city where currently it takes about an hour to cover 10kms on road, in peak timings.
In hope, for a better tomorrow…

Also published @ Socyberty – HERE!!