2008, 14th August, 10:45pm IST: I somewhat do have a mixed feeling as of now…as I sit this late waiting for India to turn 61, I understand the fact that I am not Chacha Nehru, to make a speech at the stroke of midnight when the whole of world is sleeping…as I digest this, I decide to atleast write what I feel about!! Who is gonna read, well that’s a cool question that pops up in the mind…hmm…must be by mistake….suddenly I remember that I don’t remember the thoughts that I had just thought to write…what a tragedy! I shall ponder and get back…sigh…but when you read this, you need not wait, cos I’m gonna continue right below….sigh…ya sigh again!!
11:23pm: Ah! Here I come…with my thoughts loaded….ya so India is gonna make it to 61 in about 37 minutes from now…if at all 12 midnight is considered to be the time it was delivered into the hands of us Indians by the Britishers! What a proud moment it would have been for those in the parliament, as Chacha was making that historic speech…I sometimes get this feeling that I must have been one of the men sitting in the audience listening to that speech, sans blinking or even dropping an eyelid or two….which one of those men was I, well…I have no clue nor do I have the memory to sustain such historic pre-birth or rather previous-birth information/data. Echoos me, for that matter I can hardly remember things that have happened in this current shot at living life. Sigh!
So ya…I am feeling an emotional cocktail yes, about Indian Independence (yipppppeeee) as well as its post-independence growth (hmmm….sigh!)!!
What have I done?, asks my right brain which is supposed to be the intelligent one…
What can I do?, adds my left one, which is stupid but is trying to add logic in its own darn manner!! 😉
What do I want to do?, asks the right one again not giving up…
Who will allow me to do?, asks the left thereby successfully negating the right’s claim to intellectual excellence. Sigh!!
I didn’t get tickets to go home…to Bangalore…this being a long weekend…am stuck at Chennai…but no worries cos am not on antidepressants as I’ll anyway be going home the next two weekends… yippppppeeeeeeee…am excited to death, nah!! I’m just casual towards it…sigh!
It’s my friend’s birthday tomorrow…15th…I don’t know if I can wish her…we are not that cordial anymore…though we are trying to patch up things, but its just being stupid to believe that the old days would be back again, cos we both know that it will just not be the same again, ever….well…let me mail her…atleast…I can’t even expect her to reply back, acknowledging my wishes…its not that bad a situation, but its still not the good one…hoping to improve it from here, but only time will tell…sigh!!
I am keeping a low profile and mingling amidst my guy friends…staying away from the gal pals…nah…don’t worry, am still the same…straight…just that this coming saturday happens to be Raksha Bandhan (for those who don’t know, this is a suicidal festival in India…where women tie threads to the hand of men thereby making them their brothers…no winking – for instance – allowed anymore, and you would think twice even before blinking! Sigh!) and I plan to park myself at an undisclosed location (where eh…will tell ya on sunday! 😛 )!! 😉 Who wants to be a brother just like that, by the tying of the thread and moreover it digs a hole into the purse as well which competes with vacuum right throughout the year….independent of cash, and even chillar (change…pennies…dimes…whatever)!! A BiiiiiIgggggG SiiiiiiIggggggH!! Hmmm….
11:48pm: Another 12 minutes to go on my system clock before it strikes 12…I feel I can hear that gathering in the parliament….people occupying their seats…getting ready to see history being created…Chacha Nehru smiles at Ms. Mountbatten (I guess she was the one seated there, not sure…my memory beckons me to confirm) as he adjusts his overcoat and gives final touches to the rose on his coat and his head-gear (a cap)!! I am somewhere in the last benches (well I guess, being the lord of last benches is common in every birth…a happy sigh! 😀 ) lifting my head high to get a glimpse of our Chacha stealing a sight of the beauty in Lady Mountbatten (if it was who she is) while he readied himself adjusting the microphone as he took his stand behind the portable podium…lucky guy, said my mind…slowly as the clock approached towards midnight 12, a nervous silence started to take over the gibberish gossip-mongers around me…and eventually as the entire gathering observed pin-drop silence when the clock struck the dark (k)night hour of 12, I was sitting there with my dumb head lifted high and with all possible deeply cocktailed feelings. Sigh!
1947, 15th August, 12:00 midnight: “Long years ago we made a tryst with destiny, and now the time comes when we shall redeem our pledge, not wholly or in full measure, but very substantially. At the stroke of the midnight hour, when the world sleeps, India will awake to life and freedom………………………..JAI HIND.”, that was Chacha Nehru, who with all poise and calm delivered what was the most wonderful speech I had ever heard…history was created right in front of my eyes….and my eyes were all tearful, and I could not stop the tears….you see there were no tissues in use then, sigh!!
2008, 15th August, 12:08am: Coming back…ya back to the future…I can’t remember who I was back then…anyways I am still that emotional person who uses tissues (ya to wipe tear gland leaks…then what?) now…can’t call myself patriotic, but I did pin a tri-color this whole day to my shirt pocket while in office…did eat tri-colored pooris that they offered in the cafeteria at lunch…did forward a patriotic mail to a few friends…did wish “Happy Indian Independence” and “Enjoy the long weekend” to a few colleagues…did escape (freedom you see) from the sights of my manager and came home early…ya I am still that same person…and I still can’t remember who I was back then…sigh!!
I somewhat do have a mixed feeling as of now…well, but I now know where I gotta go to relieve that feeling…sigh!! 😉
Anways before I sign off…Happy Birthday India…Have a great year ahead…hope you bleed less, and prosper more…take care of yourself, and that should take care of us!! 😀