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Monthly Archives: January 2009

Untitled Upma! :)

A few lot many little things keep cropping up in my head now and then, and there being no other better place than this blog – I vent it out here! 🙂
And guess what?
You little cute so chweet naughty buggers seem to laugh out loud over all the sensible stuff I write down here.
Now stop LOLing, I only blurted out the truth!!! 😛 Read on! 🙂

word-sell-shocked-woman

It rarely happens that guys come in search of me with the intention of befriending! In this week so far, two guys have contacted me out of no where…Now I wonder who told them about the “Russian Spirit” my colleague (who came down from Moscow) had gifted me! – News and Nasha, spreads like fire! 😀

I believe to all grown-ups, this recession period is common knowledge! But yesterday I was surprised when my 14 yr old cousin asked me if I was still holding my job! I felt very immature, as I asked him why?!!

Recession is bound to stay for another 24 months…is the news….so Cost Cutting is the only way to extend whatever is left in the reserves. With tissues in office restrooms going kaput a month ago, there’s not much a chance to sob too!! But BUt BUT BUTT, some of my colleagues need to wash their hands…not washing your hands is NOT the way of silently revolting! 😈

One more one-liner from IIT-Saarang which I read in The Hindu supplement recently – “A Man goes where a Woman comes!”!! How true!! 😀

A good friend of mine (online) wanted to see if I could sing…so she asked me to record and send her one. I sang (??) three and she seemed to like them!! Yay!! She said I had the voice of a bachcha (kiddo) while she had expected it to be like that of an uncle! Recession affecting my voice too I guess!! 😛 – NO, I don’t sing anymore – No, no requests pls! 😀 

Two of my friends are coming down from London (separately…) this weekend. Would be meeting them after a long long time! So I’m off to Bangalore tomorrow! 😀
Catchya guys next month!! 😀
Till then…Have a wonderful January!! 😀

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16 Comments

Posted by on January 29, 2009 in Friends, Happens~2~me

 

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Titbits! ;)

Let me talk some sense before I go ga-ga: Happy 59th Indian Republic Day! Its not just a holiday! Mind it! 🙂

Now back to nonsense! 🙂

vodka_nokia_wh

Titbits – I am wondering if this is actually a single word, or…you know….

Had been to Saarang (IIT Madras fest) yesterday – read this in their Newsletter about the JAMing session that went on – “Women are like Kentucky Fried Chicken…when you are done with the breasts and the thigh, you are left with a greasy box to put the bone in!”

Celina Jetley – you know her? – sheesh – ok well…it seems she’s single and ready to mingle…any takers?
If (yes, if and only if) you look at her face and the make up it carries, I bet you would run away – else you’d blog about how it went! 😉

“All Men are Bastards”…is a world famously acknowledged quote, atleast in India!!
I’ve seen women go “Oh yeah…they are indeed”….and then a little later, they just go “Oh yeah…Oh yeah”!
Fact of life you see! 😛
On the other hand, Men nod their heads not knowing what else to B! They know at least one woman will like them that way! 😀

Rahul Gandhi I heard is in no urgency to give up the most eligible bachelor’s tag. I’ll wait for only a few more yrs, Mr. Gandhi…else I’ll wait to see another bachelor PM! 😆

Osho had this opinion – about ‘the-four-letter-word’ – that it was the most beautiful word in English…and that it clears the throat if said loudly, early in the morning! I’m saying this as its just a Fact U Can Know! :mrgreen:

Got to know from a colleague that women in the US are complaining about – ‘Just 6 women being in the 21 member strong cabinet/team of President Obama!’!!! Just 28 odd percentage! Obama needs to know how to please women on a whole…and not just Michelle!
BTW…I have no doubt that our Mayawati, Mamta di and Sonia ji are the force behind this campaign! Soon we would be seeing a “33% reservation for women bill” proposed in the US parliament! 😀

I love women…they are the innovators (and ok, creators too)…they are upto some innovation or the other giving me hopes of a new business in future! How?
Well…2 of my juniors (guys) in college have got married…Now they are calling me up to get some marital advice! (yeah from me…of all ppl…are they nuts? :D)!!
The first thing that flashed to mind – Let me start a consultation firm! And second – How much do I charge them for such unasked consultation?
First and free advice I give to all unmarried males – Never marry before your senior in college (whom you are close to) does! Else he’ll charge you (pun intended)! 😛

 
19 Comments

Posted by on January 26, 2009 in Thoughts

 

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#100 – Virtual Reality! :)

cgan543l1

Alternating shades
Biting cold
City of opportunities
Dreams unlimited
Expectations within reach
Futuristic mindset
Going for the kill
Hoping against hope
Insha’Allah
Journey incomplete
Kingdom to build
Love to spread
Move over hurdles
Nothing shall stop
Oozing perspiration
Power awaiting
Quenching thirst
Raining pain
She by my side
Totally confident
Understanding compact
Visual impact
Wandering to win
Xbox virtual
Young and restless
Zero level cleared

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This is a form of poetry, the name of which am not sure wherein there are 26 lines with each line starting with successive alphabets…A, B, C….X, Y, Z while depicting something meaningful! Over here, if you didn’t realize I am really in a virtual world…hence the title! 🙂

Actually each line can have only one word, but I customized that part! 😉

And by the way, this is post #100 all from the mind! :mrgreen: WISHES PLS! 😛

 
16 Comments

Posted by on January 24, 2009 in I~do~such~things, Thoughts

 

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College Days – Last Bench Masterpieces! :)

Remembered the college days…the friends, the campus, the bunked classes, the thrown@lecturer chalk pieces, the yucky canteen food, the last bench, the yummy tapri sandwiches, the on-desk scribbles, the multiple crushes, the cranky lecturers, the same jeans for 2 semesters straight, the lanky loony GAS, the early morning classes that others used to attend, the noon naps, the midnight tea, the pre-exam sleepless nights, the ladies hostels, the shared xerox-es, the election threats-n-campaigns, the campus placement, the booze, the celebrations, the painful-groin-injury-prone-birthday bums,….the nostalgic list goes on and on…

Best part of the last bench….one could doze, study (??), read magazines, play – mobile games; book cricket; word-games, …basically anything…all while keeping an eye on everything visible from there…

I sometimes used to draw…Here are two of my last bench masterpieces!! 😉

4She always sat on first bench…will update when I remember her name (there were so many to remember all you see!)! 😛

1Shahrukh and Kareena starrer “Asoka” had released around that time I guess…I seemed to have drawn this out of a newspaper supplement, cut-out-of-hostel-reading-room!! 😀

 
23 Comments

Posted by on January 21, 2009 in About me, I~do~such~things

 

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[Tamasha]: Bilateral Bakwaas! ;)

It was a peaceful weekend, basically with nothing to do. All plans had failed, as usual either with the excuse of “no time” or “no budget”! But then there’s some power up there which doesn’t allow you do nothing. It sends down someone to nibble into your time, mind and if you’re non-vigilant, to possibly squeeze some money out too.
I was lazing at home listening to music on the laptop while simultaneously scribbling on the virtual notepad. My roommate called up to inform me that our house owner would be landing home anytime that evening to “talk” with us. 😦

Their call conversation had gone somewhat like this:
Owner: “Are you at home?”
Roomie: “No sir, am out for some work”
O: “Is anyone else home?”
R: “Ya, Sreeram is always at home”! (what the… :twisted:)
O: “Inform him that I’ll come in the evening. We need to talk!”
R: “OK…”

Our call went this way:
Roomie: “The owner is coming to talk…”
Me: “Who? the dawg?”
R: “Ya, the dawg is coming to bark…he gave a missed call and I called him back!”
Me: “What?? Were you outta your mind to do that? You should have said – no one’s at home!”
R: “Ya I should have…but I said you are at home”
Me: “You $%^&*…when’s he coming?”
R: “Sometime in the evening he said”
Me: “Ok…Now my entire evening is gonna $%^&* up! Try to join the fun!”

Our owner gives us missed calls as if we dont pay him the rent. Since I dont respond to his missed calls, he calls my roomies who by instinct (don’t ask me) entertain missed calls! 😛
To give a preface of my owner – He’s a simply complicated gone-case. Period.

The dialogues we have is very similar to the Indo-Pak talks. Indecisive, Inconclusive and as always a FAILURE. 😀

Ever since I got to know that the owner was coming, I thought of getting ready by preparing an agenda with pointers. So at the end of it all, the pointers I had were:
1) To request (again) the still pending lease agreement
2) To ask him when he would come next, so as to get the rent receipts ready and signed.
And ya, thats it…I had nothing else on the table from our side!
Oh ya…I had the usual plan B, in case he again asks me my history and CTC!
1) To ask details about his daughter. (It was effective once…so 100% record! ;))! :mrgreen:

old_man

He landed home around 9:15 pm and by then my roomie was home…hehe…so we were now two who could share the pain! I cannot put every dialogue that took place between us till 11 pm – not that its confidential, but its 100 odd minutes of plain simply useless nonsense.

The owner seemed to have come with an agenda of his own:
1) Understand the Satyam fiasco
2) Enquire if his (honourable :P) tenants still have their jobs
3) Enquire if they’ve got a pay hike (or cut…though this wont affect him a bit)
4) Rise the rent
5) Rise the caution deposit
Note: Say ‘No’ to all that they ask. If not, cook a sad story till they pity me.

So at the end of “talks”…our respective agendas stood like this:

Our Agenda:
1) To request the still pending lease agreement
–> He said, “Ok, only if you pay me the tax amount that I will have to bear for giving you that agreement”
–> We replied, “Oh ok…then no need…we’ll pay our own taxes”
2) To ask him when he would come next, so as to get the rent receipts ready and signed.
–> He said, “Why do you need that? I don’t know when I am coming next time”
–> We replied, “Oh ok….we’ll see that at the time of rent payment this month end”

His Agenda:
1) Understand the Satyam fiasco
–> We said, “Oh! None of us know…we are not working in that company! We know only whats in the paper!”
–> He replied, “My son was saying….blah blah blah…….”
Our thought –> *Why ask when you know everything?* Hmmph!
2) Enquire if the tenants still have their jobs
–> We said, “Sir, why do you think so?”
–> He replied, “Looking at what happened to Satyam, I thought since you also work for IT sector….blah blah….”
Our thought –> *Why ask when you know everything?* Hmmph!
3) Enquire if they’ve got a pay hike or cut
–> We said, “We don’t get hikes in January sir”
–> He replied, “But my son gets it every January….blah blah….”
Our thought –> *Why ask when you know everything?* Hmmph!
4) Rise the rent
–> He said, “Give me 1K more…You can add another roommate…you’ll reduce 400 per head in this bad situation”
–> We replied, “You know the situation, then why increase by 1K?”
–> He said, “But you will reduce 400 per head you know”
Our thought –> *Why ask when you know everything?* Hmmph!
5) Rise the caution deposit
–> He said, “Normally we take 10 months advance as deposit”
–> We replied, “Ya, we had paid 10 months advance initially…then you increased the rent”
–> He said, “Ya, but if we calculate 10 times of that now…..blah blah”
Our thought –> *Why ask when you know everything?* Hmmph!
Note: Say ‘No’ to all that they ask. If not, cook a sad story till they pity me.
–> We requested, “Sir, give us your account number so that we can transfer the rent online. Its tough and time wasting to go to your relative’s place every month to give it”
–> He replied, “In the year 2000 and 5…you know….blah blah…”

So as you see, there was nothing out of it for both parties at the end of an hour and forty-five minutes of time pass. Just like  how the Indo-Pak bilateral talks go on. Only difference is that we didn’t spend any tax-giver’s money unlike in the actual talks! 😀

 
11 Comments

Posted by on January 19, 2009 in Happens~2~me

 

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Parody[11]: Manager rooti…

This is a parody of the song “Laree Choote” from the movie “Ek Chaalis ki Last Local”! 🙂

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angry-lady-manager
Woh kehte hai na
Jo code hota hai, run hone ke liye hota hai
Galat kehte hai…

Compiler ka khel hai sara
Sochta tha mein bechaara
Ke yeh kya se kya hogaya
Hazaar line ki ye kahani
Har bug ki man maani
Kya karna tha kya kar gaya

Kya hua jo manager rooti
Code thi wo tooti phuti
Kaam hai wo mera hi kiya
Client ne di humein jo gaali
Appraisal toh gai humari
Rating toh mujhko na bataa

Cubicle…suna tha yahan developer
Puri coding apni bug se debug karne mein nikal deta hai
Par dhai ghante mein meri rating
Aise oopar se neeche aa jaayegi
Yeh mene kabhi socha nahi tha
Saza maza ban jayegi
Yeh bhi kabhi socha nahi tha
Gori client kya rooti
Saali ne meri toh waat hi laaga di

Dedo jo bhi dena hai
Chillar hi toh milna hai
Guzra to pal yeh phir na aayega
Tu boss hai yaa balaa hai
Waqt hi shayaad bura hai
Tal jaane do phir dekha jaayega

Kya hua jo tester rooti
Code thi wo tooti phuti
Kaam hai wo mera hi kiya
Client ne di humein jo gaali
Appraisal toh gai humari
Rating toh mujhko na bataa

Woh Kehte hai na
Jo code hota hai, run hone ke liye hota hai
Sahi kehte hai…

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For my other attempts at Parodies, click HERE and HERE! 😀

 
9 Comments

Posted by on January 17, 2009 in Happens~2~me

 

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Jo main kehna chaau…

The last time I wrote a poem in my corporate blog, a colleague asked me if it was possible to write one where we express love without the use of lovey-dovey words like Pyaar, Ishq, Mohabbat, etc…
So this is my attempt at that… 😉

love
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Main tumse kuch kehna chahta hoon jo…
Jaane kyun nahi keh paata hoon woh!
Kahu toh main kaise kahu…
Keh bina rahu toh bhi kaise rahu!

Jal rahi hey jo aag kab se…
Bayaan main kaise karu tumse?
Ladta hoon main jagadtha bhi hoon khud se…
Fariyaad bhi karu toh main karu kisse?

Ishaare diye maine ek nahi kahi…
Par tum toh koi ishaara samjhi hi nahi!
Phool bhi bheje maine izhaar karte karte…
Samajh na paayi tum toh, toot gaya main sehte sehte!

Chal pada hoon main anjaane raahon pe…
Manzil ke talaash mein, tere hi sahaare se!
Miloo main tumse, aur kaash mein keh paau,
Umeed hey ki tum samajhlo, jo main kehna chaau! 🙂

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English Translation:
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Whatever I wanted to convey to you…
I don’t know why I’m not able to!
How do I say, If I want to…
How do I stay, without telling to you!

The fire that is burning since long…
How do I express it to you?
I fight and I argue with myself…
Whom do I request, I do not know!

Signs I did give, not one but many…
But then you did not understand any!
I sent you flowers confessing it all…
But you didn’t cognize, and my stability did fall!

Now I am moving ahead, along unknown pathways…
In search of the destination, with you being my strength!
I desire to meet you, and I wish to be able to convey…
With hopes that you understand, all that I would say! 🙂

 
13 Comments

Posted by on January 15, 2009 in Thoughts

 

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