Do I flirt? Hell no! ;)

20 Jul

I have been interrogated quite a few many times…by parents, friends – both guys and gals, policemen, watchmen, auto-drivers and even my maid…one common question they ask somewhere along the whole tete-e-tete is the very one about which I have no clue whatsoever. They all in some way or the other ask “Sree, Do you flirt?”! ๐Ÿ™„
Now as you know, Sree and Flirting are like Snow and the Sahara! ๐Ÿ˜›
I always end up trying to convince them with “Err…nooooo….nooooo…I don’t flirt…I…noooooo…nooo…flirt??…me??…I don’t…what?!!”…but to my bad luck, they end up not believing me. Hmmmph!!
As someone said, โ€œOne kind of flirtation, is to boast we never flirt.โ€….I didn’t know that though I did it all the while! ๐Ÿ˜›
Did you just say “I don’t believe you”? WTF!
This post is a result of these one-too-many enquiries….I decided to pick up a few lines and styles to flirt around…Ladies, in case you get to meet me…beware!!! :mrgreen:

The Bare Stare:
I was standing at the bus stand…waiting for the ever punctual 9:45pm AC bus to arrive which would take me to the Chennai Central (Railway station) on my way to Bangalore…Standing beside me was a girl who by her looks and luggage, seemed like an IT geek on her way to hometown, waiting for the same AC bus as I was. I looked at her with naked eyes (yes, I wasn’t wearing my spectacles…what else huh?)….she looked at me…our eyes met….
All of a sudden, out of nowhere, an aunty appeared – “Enna kanna…flirting-a?” (What son, flirting eh?) ๐Ÿ˜ˆ
I didn’t know what to say then…
Later as I searched googled, I learnt that I had to say like someone quoted – โ€œYeah I flirt, I’m not blind and I’m not dead!โ€ Sigh…if I had researched a little earlier! ๐Ÿ˜›

Well, for those unaware…Eye Contact happens to be the most used and simplest flirting technique…as someone winkingly said, eyes do speak! ๐Ÿ˜‰
But too much of staring is bad…especially if its just one sided! If you can’t understand what I mean, experience it! ๐Ÿ˜›

Some of the pick-up lines and my learnings which doesn’t work anymore:

1. “You remind me of my next girlfriend.”
Modern women, are like mystery…you never know if they are single, committed, engaged or married…and beauty of it all, is that they never tell…One needs to be careful when you use this liner…Best to be used against those women who have been referenced by a trustworthy referrer. ๐Ÿ˜€

2. “My friend wants to know if you think Iโ€™m hot”
This is a very dangerous flirt line…unless you have a friend who is equally crazy and supportive…one whom you haven’t betrayed at any point of time (till then)…Cos if the gal ends up to be foolish, she is bound to ask “Which friend?”…at that very moment, you’d need some (otherwise useless) body to point at… ๐Ÿ˜†

3. “If nothing lasts for ever, will you be my nothing?”
This is a tried and tested liner…never used to fail…until girls took offense at being referred to as “nothing”…Remember, they are anything but nothing! ๐Ÿ˜‰

4. “Baby, you must be a lighter cause you turn me on..”
Never use this on first meet, unless you wanna burn your fingers! A very bold flirt line…believe me, if she’s hot and angry she’d light you up…alive…hmm…

5. “I canโ€™t taste my lips, could you do it for me?”
This one’s very flirtatious of the lot…make sure no one’s around, especially the ones from her side…not even her pet…If she happens to be an dog lover, she’d say “my dog would do that on my behalf”….save yourself an embarrasment! ๐Ÿ˜›

6. “If you were a bullet, I would shoot myself to have you in me.”
This is a military flirt line…if the girl is a daughter of a Colonel, try this one…would work fine, unless she’s got the license to kill…High when it comes to risk…but gives a high kick! ๐Ÿ˜‰

7. “Feel my shirt. Does that feel like boyfriend material?”
This is a “tailor”ed flirt line….cheap, but one which definitely brings on a smile…if she agrees, you are damn lucky dog…if not, the max that can happen is her pushing you away with a “Chi…thuuu….poda”!! ๐Ÿ˜†

8. “Your parents must be bakers, cozโ€™ ur a cutie pie”
This is a cute one, agreed…but then if girl gets offended for calling her parents bakers, get ready to be baked like one loaf of a bread! ๐Ÿ˜‰

9. “Damn girl, u look so fineโ€ฆ.
ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย ย  Do u mind, being mine”
Poetic flirting…never fails…unless she’s a dead duck with cob-webbed feet….!! ๐Ÿ˜›

10. “I feel like Richard Gere, I’m standing next to you, you Pretty Woman.”
Romantic filmi flirting…make sure your gal has seen the movie you are using as a bait…else it would make no sense…Also be sure of the movie character you pick…imagine how it would be using this line, if Richard Gere was gay in the movie! ๐Ÿ˜›


The most disgusting and local pick-up line that I learnt here in Chennai is “Enna Solranga?”…crap…a neat lift of “Kya bolti tu?”! ๐Ÿ˜› Aamir Khan saying it to Rani Mukherji is one thing, while the local romeo using his own version is another! ๐Ÿ˜›

Chalo…so long…and ya, be good! ๐Ÿ˜‰
PS: All lines have been flicked off the internet….cos I don’t flirt! ๐Ÿ˜‰


Posted by on July 20, 2009 in Imaginative Bakwaas, I~do~such~things


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

18 responses to “Do I flirt? Hell no! ;)

  1. Mollye

    July 20, 2009 at 10:58 pm

    Some of those pick-up lines are funny. Well actually, I find them all funny. If someone came up to me and said any of those it would definately make me smile, however I’m not sure if it would go any farther than a laugh and the roll of the eyes. Trying to Start Love can be difficult but I’m sure a pick up line like one of these from a long time friend seeking more than friendship can have it’s definite possibilities.

  2. Amit

    July 21, 2009 at 12:54 am

    Awesome stuff dude! I know how well you could portray this topic and really implement it. As for the post a well crafted and humorously rich read. I enjoyed it a hell lot. Besides my plan/commitment of writing a post on flirting is much more strong now. You just inspired me.

    Stay creative ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Shruti

    July 21, 2009 at 11:41 am

    hey mr. i dont flirt… sure u dont… wat was this put up for.. seemed like guiding the gilrs to be cautious ๐Ÿ˜‰

    had damn fun reading!! rofl..!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  4. preeti

    July 21, 2009 at 4:47 pm

    dude (now don faint on tat okie :)) loved the post :):) as usual 100% bakwaas ๐Ÿ™‚ err.. gimme tips on how to woo guys ๐Ÿ™‚ sure you shd be err.. knowing :):) (in a perfectly ‘straight and innocent’ preeti-ish sense :)) loved 3 5 and 8 :):) chal matey, tan tan tannn cheers !!:)

  5. iselldreams

    July 21, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    now let me tell you the most cliche line that can be commented on such a post
    “of course you do flirt” ๐Ÿ˜†

    hehehe joke aside i enjoyed the post a lot, nice combo of hard-working and observation ๐Ÿ˜›

  6. Thousif Raza

    July 21, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    damn you again yaar, you did it again you made me smile again and you just made my bad day er evening into a good one

    you wont belive same has happened to me, i once liked this girl, but she dint knew that i liked her, so when i talking all of a sudden she asked “do you flirt??” i said” no i dont in fact i hate flirting” guess she felt turned down, and then i never heard much abt her, so one bhai suggestion ti another “jhooth bolo yaar” sach se toh beheta he hain na what say???

    and abt the site, i think you are lying, hain na bolo bolo, just kidding yaar here is the address, see ya soon there

    and lemme tell you greatly written, absolutely loooooooooved adored the P.S ;), and i also want your email id send it my mail id ok :), mail kar phir bataoga tabt the matter and all

    take care and keep writing………

  7. Veda

    July 21, 2009 at 11:43 pm


    No guy has EVER used any pick up line on me…*sigh* would’ve been fun though..

    thanks for visiting my page, uve got a very interesting page as well… ๐Ÿ™‚


  8. cutestangel

    July 22, 2009 at 12:08 am

    ha ha these are well collated are you sure you dont flirt awesome collection!!!!

  9. PaVi

    July 23, 2009 at 8:27 pm

    Enna Kanna, Flirting ah ๐Ÿ™‚ ๐Ÿ˜›

  10. Sree

    July 25, 2009 at 12:13 pm

    @ Mollye,

    Rightly said…times have changed, for these to work out so instantly now! There are high chances of the girl say “oh, I have read that on the net…be original” for every line used for pick-up! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Thanks for commenting…keep visiting! ๐Ÿ™‚

    @ Amit,

    Hehe…I’ve stopped using these man…these days, seedhi baat and no bakwaas! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Waiting to read your version man…
    Thanks buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

  11. Sree

    July 25, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    @ Shruti,

    haha…u got it…these worked in the 90s…but now, nah! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Thanks buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

    @ Pretty,

    Tan tana tan…nice to see ya here gal…looooooong time! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Err…377 chaalu hua toh u expect me to be chaalu on that lines eh…how mean…yahan ladkiya pataane mein, main busy hoon..dont have time for guys! you do that! ๐Ÿ˜›
    Tips eh? let me ask a few gals (haha..not you..u r a tom boy :P) and write it down for ya! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thanks buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

  12. Sree

    July 25, 2009 at 12:21 pm

    @ Isd,

    OMG…I do? without my know-how? ๐Ÿ˜› with whom? ๐Ÿ˜›
    aha..u saw me do some hard work there? should have been my manager in office Eddie! ๐Ÿ˜›
    Thanks buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

    @ Thousif bhai,

    Man…you amaze me with your comments…ke kya bolu! ๐Ÿ˜€
    sad that happened…but time has changed now bhai…
    its more like “naaa main bhi haan hoti hey”…thats why “I don’t flirt”…na na naa naa na!! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thanks bhai! ๐Ÿ˜€

  13. Sree

    July 25, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    @ Veda,

    //No guy has EVER used any pick up line on me// Same here, thank god!! ๐Ÿ˜›
    Women who have been victims of pick-up lines wouldnt have felt //wouldโ€™ve been fun though.// so…am pretty sure!! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Hope some one comes your way soon! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    May be Joey with his “How ya doin’?”…keep your options open! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Thanks buddy…for visiting! ๐Ÿ˜€

    @ C-A,

    Ofcourse, “I don’t flirt” ๐Ÿ˜› ๐Ÿ˜†
    Thanks a lot buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

    @ PV,

    haha…illai madam illai!! ๐Ÿ˜†
    Thanks buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

  14. Hari

    August 12, 2009 at 7:07 pm

    A Hot-Crazy scale reference!! awesome ๐Ÿ™‚

  15. echosfrommyheart

    August 28, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    Interesting stuf..had fun reading it ๐Ÿ™‚

  16. Sree

    September 21, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    Thanks Hari!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Thanks EFMH!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. jus-another-follower

    October 26, 2009 at 1:44 pm

    Hey..m a “first timer” at Ur blog but really liked this one. Like the pinch of humour… sorry…the table spoon of humour you have added to the… pretty cool!!

  18. Sree

    October 26, 2009 at 11:04 pm

    @ JAF,

    Glad to know that you liked the spoon of humor! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thanks a lot ….keep visiting! ๐Ÿ˜€


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