Nah…I don’t agree with Megs…I am not what she thinks I am. All that she’s written about “Sree and She” in her blog is merely a screenplay enacted in her mind…a script so fictional that fiction would seem to be real. I maybe a movie freak but once am out of the theatre I play my own character role, myself. I don’t get affected by the characters on the screen. I may have written a few love letters in blood which might have in advance inspired Rahul to write so to K…Kkk…kk…Kiran in Darr, but then that isn’t my fault…is it?
And yes, I sign off with “Where ShE is, SrEe is”??? – So what? My name is SrEe, but I’m not where ShE is. Not yet!
She came to my house yesterday, sat on my bed, checked her mails on my laptop (I guess she had touched it before too when I went to the restroom…it already smelt of her odor when I passed it over to her), talked to me for a while and even took a few potato chips off my plate. Uff…romantic. I know she didn’t like the way I looked at that moment but then she didn’t say a word about it. She left behind a card on bed at the very spot that she had sat. “Raji weds Rancho”, it read inviting me to her wedding with an idiot who somehow managed to impress and propose to her, before I could.
A few years ago I took up blogging to learn how to speak out my mind, to express myself and especially my love for her. How much ever I tried, my mind would get frozen as if I was standing not in front of my Team Lead (TL), but shirtless in freaking cold Antarctica. Raji, was just a year older to me and so it was considered a taboo to fall in love with her. Forget family, even friends and colleagues were not in favor. Gautham Menon too, was very late to cross and come out of the skies with a story on this very situation involving Karthik and Jessie. Ironically my friends, colleagues and family not only loved the movie but they even sympathized with Karthik. I think it was AR Rahman’s (ARR) background music that did the trick for him. I wish I had someone half as good as ARR playing music standing behind me too. But life isn’t a movie na? Nevertheless, I felt happy for Karthik. What if things didn’t work out for both of us? At least he got some sympathy from MY loved ones. Hmm…see I am smiling 🙂 I’m happy.
My first year in my organization was good…with trainings, new colleagues, batch mates and free coffee. And then like a fresh breath of air, came in Raji. She was a lateral associate, who was rumored to be very smart-cum-intelligent and hence was assigned the role of a team lead in our project to manage a bunch of merry-making freshers. It definitely wasn’t love at first sight for me. I hated the intelligent lot. And a woman dressed in a man’s attire on almost every day of the week, wasn’t my idea of the one I was eventually gonna fall for.
Just like Gautham directed Trisha in taking the office bus, Raji also used to catch the office bus to our campus. I used to take free (OC*) rides on my friend’s bike from the very same spot and that is exactly where I fell in love with her, months after she took over as my TL. She was walking down in a blue-n-white combination sari with a laptop bag in hand, which very recently Trisha imitated so beautifully on screen – it was her first time in a sari to office and my first fall off the bike while driving pillion – both on the same day and I celebrated the sheer co-incidence, drinking a cup full of coffee from the vending machine in the office cafeteria.
Every time I went n stood in front of her, I dunno what happened to me. Aren’t people in love able to talk? This was my first time, but I don’t remember Karthik struggling to talk in front of Trisha…then why am I not able to? I rehearsed my lines a few hundred times before each attempt but then my mind used to go blank the moment she looked up at me with those big beautiful eyes. I in-evidently happened to lose my senses, as those sweet lips made a saucy move as if asking, “Yes my love, you wanna say something to me?”!!! Having watched the movie Ghajini, I thought I too had this habit of forgetting stuff, but then in my case it seemed to be selective amnesia…only in front of Kalpana. Tattooing on my body about all that I wanted to tell her was an option, though a painful one. Not wanting to hurt the one who loved dear Kalpana, I decided against it.
Also I didn’t want to tell her my feelings via the office communicator. I don’t like the yellow smileys. They make me so uncomfortable, puke-ish. They seem to say one thing, while they actually mean something else. How will I react/respond if she replies negatively, backed by a smiling yellow face? I can’t even think of it.
As I struggled to tell her my feelings, the year long project went live and she seemed to have moved on. No more was she taking the bus to office. Karthik used to drop her to office on his bike. Jessie liked the fast pillion ride just like I did. Though we had the same tastes, we were not meant to be. Kalpana was killed, but I was not even considered fit to be a character by Gautham. On benefit of doubt, maybe he forgot. Ghajini, faala kameena.
Now that Raji is getting engaged to him, Rancho doesn’t want her to do poetry – shape or not – anymore but he would like her to be a scientist like him in the North East. Poetry he feels binds her to me…he fears I will comment with my blood on her poems and that in romantic emotion, she will flirt with me. He’s unaware of the fact, that it’s the poetry which flirts in between and not her. I anyways don’t. If he can’t understand this much, will he be able to understand it if she comes from across the skies? (did anyone see VTV? 😛 )
Disclaimer: This piece of write up is inspired as a result of watching some terribly good movies which have etched on to my mind. If anyone dead or alive is by chance related to any character in this story, I would suggest giving the doctor a visit. I would recommend Dr. J dot Asthana or his daughter Dr. Chinki.
*OC – Other’s Cost