[Post#200]~ My name is Ram, and I’m not a God! :P

This post is in response with Blogadda’s “Tribute to Dad” contest.

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“I said no…”

“Dad…please dad…I’m calling you at STD rates, paa, please!”

“No…what do you think of yourself? I said no…this is Kalyug, not Dwapar or Treta yug for me to arrange you a swayamvar!!”

“But dad…I know you couldn’t help when grandpa named you Dashrath…for he himself was named Aja…but then you could have stopped this whole Ramayan, by not naming me Ram – isn’t it? How nice it would’ve been, had you named me Raj or Rahul?”

“Ram, you always complain to me about your name…who asked you to take birth during Ram-Navami? Your grandpa was so sure that Lord Ram had arrived and forced me to write your name so in the hospital records!!”

“Who asked to take birth?!! Dad, you should have planned it all properly…but then on second thoughts, what if I was born on Oct 2nd…nahi, jo hua achche ke liye hua…everything happens for its own good…”

“Huh…imagine how much of history I’ve manage to change in an otherwise ‘Perfect Ramayan’ that your grandpa wanted to script with this family of his. If I had not resisted his obsessive insanity, you would have had Bharath-Lakshman-Shatrughn along with their 2 mothers living over here.”

“Oh yeah…how did that not happen?”

“Your mom, Kousalya would have stripped me – off my skin.”

“Well dad…this is my 11th year away from home in this corporate jungle…how much ever I try to get back home, 14 years away seems to be in fate. However, during his exile he had his wife and brother for company. If Valmiki has written my whole life story then swayamvar would be a part of it. Waise bhi, it’s always better than a straightforward arranged marriage!”

“You are impossible son, simply impossible. By the way, tell me one thing. Did you by any god-forsaken chance apply to take part in that nautanki Rakhi’s Swayamvar on TV?”

“Err, well dad…I did apply….and got selected too. But then when Rakhi came to meet me, I didn’t like her nose…it seemed all plastic, as if like she’d done a nose job. Not just the nose paa, you know the…”

“Ok ok…that monkey friend of yours would have given you this idea to register for that swayamvar, didn’t he?”

“Hmmm…yeah Maddy…and he’s perfectly human Daddy…perfectly human.”

“Ya ya I know all your friends…useless fellows, they keep playing bridge all day by the beach-side”.

“Dadddd…you are deviating from the topiccc…Swayamvar…when will you host one for me? I am serious…”

“I’m doubly serious son…no swayamvar and all…I’ll find you a Sita…god knows on which island she’s waiting for you”

“Hmm…but do not name her Sita…I like Senorita, Simran or…”

“Rekha?”

“Daaaddd…I’m talking about naming my wife-to-be…you can re-name mom as Rekha, grandpa won’t comeback to haunt you…neither would mom complain…hehe”

“Shh…your mom doesn’t know about Rekha…its been a long call, STD remember??”

“Hehe…thats fine paa…By the way, Maddy is flying to Srilanka this weekend on an assignment…Is this a sign?”

“Shut up…tell him to have a safe flight and see to it that the tail doesn’t catch fire…”

“Dad…I am serious about this…what if this is a sign? I’ve anyways given him my resume and passport copy as identity proof…I think its high time for me to explore new shores.”

“You are already far away from us Ram, how much farther do you want to go? That too in search of Sita…we should have got you married before you left for what seems to be an exile!”

“Hmm…But paa…”

“And what happens if some Rakhi captures your mind with her low-cut and latest fashion clothes…I had fallen for Rekha too once, so its all in the genes…and micro-minis.”

“Err…but paa…”

“Nothing doing…listen to your paa…come over here, cos this is where you belong…We’ll find you a nice Rekha, and get you settled…I’ll put your profile on the matrimonial site, in the classified newspaper columns, open a page for you on Facebook…lets do it in a modern way Ram!”

“Ok….but paa…not Rekh…”

“No if, no butttt…you just come here…”

“Ok paa..but what about Maddy?”

“Ask that monkey to return before his back gets tanned…now keep the phone down…Kousalya is calling me from the garden!”

“Haha…ok dad…bye”

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When Ravan’s character can be twisted and made into a movie, I thought why not twist Ram’s character for a post?
How was it? 😛

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