[A Retrospect]~Era of the Bride – Analyzed from Groom’s side! ;)

02 Sep

This is a post in retrospect to the demands of a gal (of marriage-able age)…as posted on my internal blog medium…by her friend! 😛

Disclaimer: This post is pertaining only to the traditional case of “arranged marriage” – and is meant just for retrospective fun! No female hearts are meant to be broken, during the read! Amen! 🙂
I’m not a chauvinist pig (for those who are unaware, this is not a swear word – its just an expression), so just have a hearty laugh even if your blood boils! 😉

Apart from his own requirements, the bridegroom has to also consider the requirements of his parents, his dominating relatives, if any and sometimes even of his siblings (sisters – to be specific).
I wanted a working woman…and as far as I remember, that was my only condition. Thankfully, my mom had no conditions except that her daughter-in-law should know to converse/speak in our mother-tongue (Konkani) – this was mainly a condition, to avoid me from going in for a love marriage! 😛 – and then my sister was sweet enough not to lay down any personal expectations about her future sister-in-law…and by common sense – none of us, listen to our relatives, though they have a lot to say! 😀 :mrgreen:
And as it so happened, I got hooked by the first gal I met – a rare occurrence when it comes to “arranged” marriage. Now what more can I ask for?! I’m a lucky-a$$, ain’t I? 😀

She had a few expectations, which I felt was normal to have as a bride. Like her guy should be – independent, loving, caring, family-oriented, happy-go-lucky, responsible, can survive when she can’t cook – in short, like me! 😉
I was wondering (actually, I needed a topic to write on 😛 ) how it would have been, if I had been subjected to the “demands” which were mentioned in the post. Let me analyze! 😉 

1. The guy should be a lefty, so that his brain works right. – A good one-liner to laugh at, but scientifically I guess the left brain does most of the right things! 😀 And oh, guess she’s an Amitabh/Abhishek Bachchan fan!

2. He must read, write, and speak 2 foreign languages fluently. (She wants to live atleast a decade each in two foreign countries.) – Will the languages Zulu and Swahili work??? Will dense African countries do? 😛

3. He must play at least 2 sports (one indoor game and one out door game). Preferably he should a national champion in at least one. – This is a very cheeky demand! 😉 No wonder she wants him to play games (with her)…hehe…national champion, is a touch too much!! 😛 When it comes to outdoor games, PDA* is the new sport! 😛

4. He should have silky hair. – “He should have hair”  is ok…what the silky??!! 😈

5. He must have well aligned white teeth. – I doubt even Mannequins get to have well-aligned teeth! When dentists build an artificial tooth set (lower+upper jaws) – I doubt it will be well-aligned! Whitening is possible though – remember “Happy Dent” advertisements?! :mrgreen:

6. He should be 6 feet tall. 5ft 11” is adjustable. – Adjustable by an inch…so kind-hearted she is.  :mrgreen:

7. He should know to cook. – Men learn to cook these days, knowing this very nature (ok read it as ‘demand’) of women of today. (Dear ladies, no attacking me pls! 😛 )

8. He must play the guitar. – Thankfully and hopefully she didn’t mean “play a tune”! 😛

9. No big belly. A six pack would be good. An 8 pack would be great. – Even if achieved using steroids??? 🙄

10. He shouldn’t wear VIP, Rupa or Tantex inner wear. – Thank god she didn’t stop at “He shouldn’t wear!”…hehe – but agreed…these brands don’t go well with 6-8 packs! 😉 The elastic is so LS (of low standard)! 😛

Now…in short…
The guy should be a left-hander who needs to be well-versed in 2 foreign languages (country/continent, no bar), must play safe…err…sports (2 of them…indoor and outdoor), must be mannequin-like with silky hair and well aligned white teeth, must be 6 feet tall (one inch variation – adjustable), he should be able to cook as he plays the guitar and builds muscles/packs…and all this he shouldn’t do wearing Indian inner-wears! Uff…
Now…If I had all these God-like supreme qualities – would I agree to marry this ‘demanding’ female? Lol…NO WAYS!!! I would rather go for someone who doesn’t want all these – opposites attract!

* PDA – Public Display of Affection


Posted by on September 2, 2010 in Friends, I~do~such~things, Thoughts


Tags: , , , , ,

5 responses to “[A Retrospect]~Era of the Bride – Analyzed from Groom’s side! ;)

  1. Phoenixritu

    September 2, 2010 at 2:12 pm

    Sreeram, the bride should go for 4-5 grooms, all of these qualities/traits cant be there in a single person

  2. Srilakshmi

    September 2, 2010 at 8:28 pm

    “my sister was sweet enough not to lay down any personal expectations about her future sister-in-law” 😀 i’m sweet….aint I??????? 😛

  3. preeti

    September 16, 2010 at 10:14 pm

    err.. ths darn girl needs a big time “break” 🙂 sad such people exist (though they do exist in lots)

  4. Arshat

    October 5, 2010 at 4:59 pm

    hhhahaa… lol.. super funny!

  5. Sree

    October 7, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    @ Ritu di, lol…you are right! 😉

    @ Vats…yes yes…sweet u r 😀

    @ Preeti, she need to meet you taani partner! 😉

    Thanks Arshat 😀


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