[Making News]~Of Hikes planned on Mt.Salary!! ;)

11 May

Chennai: The time has come for those paychecks to be revised and companies all over are considering many factors including the future market prospects before finalizing on those juicy percentages. The overall expectations are pretty high from the ‘deserving’ individuals. While some are speculating about the high percentages, some others are very confident about it. There are a few others who are calculating innovatively. An employee from the MNC major Outfy said on condition of anonymity, “The attrition rate has been very high here, so the salary fund would be in surplus. Hence I believe we will be getting a good raise this time in comparison to last year.” Innovative? or Cheeky?!!

The mood however is one of sheer optimism at all these software corporate campuses. The scene was no different at soap-n-software giant, Vpro. “We believe that we’ll get a double hike this time as the appraisal cycle of April 2010 is expected to close along with the current appraisal cycle of April 2011. We deserve it!” says Onurodha Cumary (name changed, on request) with a big bright smile followed by a wink. Strange are the ways in which these software engineers behave during these ‘testing’ times, when most are awaiting for the pay-hike ‘developments’ on the senior executive management front.

We believe in Karma – what we give is what we get returned” stated an employee of the latest Fortune 500 entrant Blognizant, who on conditions of anonymity continued “We recently asked people to sponsor notebooks for kids and sadly only about 20% of the people here contributed. Rumor is that only those 20% associates will get a hike for their good Karma. The rest would need to revisit their thought process and strive harder towards the next appraisal”. How lame! Sitting inside those small boxes that they call cubicles, these people seem to have lost IT (no, not that you silly!).

I don’t believe in hikes till I get to see them. I don’t know what bonuses mean! Last time they took away 500 bucks from each employee as bonus. You can imagine how thrilled I was to see my bonus letter showing a negative 500!!!” said Keghana Marthik (again, name changed!) from the mid-tier MNC firm BehindTree.

Obama killed Osama…or is it the other way round? Anyways, we as a team expect to get a good hike considering we do such excellent execution of Osama-in-a-house model!” cheered this employee of Mohinder Standyam, who preferred to refer himself as ‘Team Lead George Mush’.  Now what can I say?!!!

So as you see, the expectations vary from sanity to insanity but then the sky seems to be the limit for these bug hunters (buggers?). While some get real lucky (no, not that way you silly!!), the rest can expect to cool down thanks to some heavy showers expected post this hot season! As if the rest of us care.

Disclaimer: This article is just for fun and has no strong base for the information provided. This article holds no truth and any reference to an individual/group/company is purely coincidental. It is in a way, inspired by Faking News. This disclaimer is the absolute truth.


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6 responses to “[Making News]~Of Hikes planned on Mt.Salary!! ;)

  1. krithikaa

    May 11, 2011 at 7:03 pm

    amazing article :-Dhad me laughing my guts out by the way would have preferred a comment from an ox&cur employee 🙂

  2. Srinivas

    May 11, 2011 at 10:28 pm

    How come there isn’t any mention of those unforeseen ripples of the probable economic downturn in the North American economy – which in turn is a direct consequence of the East European crisis, which in turn could hit the bottomline of the IT sector as a whole, and Blognizant in particular, anticipating which the hike this year would have to be shelved and there only would a normalization of paychecks. Phew! 😉

  3. Dishit D

    May 11, 2011 at 11:03 pm

    ROFL… 😀
    liked the claim that disclaimer is true 😉

  4. Writerzblock

    May 12, 2011 at 2:27 am

    ROFL!!! That was a delightful read!

  5. Ellen

    May 13, 2011 at 11:22 am

    LOL… I expect my ‘Letter’ sometime today rumour has it the hikes are high 😉

  6. Sree

    May 27, 2011 at 6:10 pm

    Thanks Krithikaa 🙂

    Thanks Srini 🙂 Didnt get into the research part not me! 😉

    Thanks Dev-D 🙂 It indeed is true! 😉

    Thanks Writerzblock! 😀

    Thanks El 🙂 Was it just a rumor? 😛


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