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Monthly Archives: July 2011

[A tale of 3 women]~Of Ms. Sawant, Ms. Khar & Ms. Patil! ;)

Well well, so much is happening out there in our big bad world. And this is an all ladies’ special! 😉

If you remember, not so long ago I had written about (link: HERE) how our Baba Romeo stole a Salwaar Kameez out of our controversial limelight queen Rakhi Sawant’s wardrobe. The news is now out that it’s not just her Salwaar Kameez (with dupatta, of course) that was stolen that night but even her – hold-your-breath – heart!

Rakhi announced to the media recently about how she was waiting for our Baba Romeo to propose to her and how she loved the various positions he gets into while performing yoga, especially the ‘I love the way he does yoga on television’! Now some new trick that huh…how someone could do it on a television…well…believing Rakhi of all Sawant’s out there, maybe one can! 🙄

 

For more on this, you can find a lot of links HERE.

Yesterday could have been devastating! Her wish could have been India’s command!
Thankfully she had come in for what was a ‘peace dialogue’ between the two countries.
Almost every Indian man gave a second glance as the news channels on television scrolled what seemed like perverted one-liners while telecasting the beautiful face of Hina Rabbani Khar, the Pakistani Foreign Minister. Of course, they termed it as ‘Breaking News’!
“Who will be satisfied this time?”
– “Both need to work harder to maintain a healthy relation”
– And so on…

She made sure that our politicians dressed to kill, for sure. SM Krishna looked younger as he suited up and gel-set his wig, while opposition leader LK Advani was all smiles and hand-movements for a change!
While men were busy admiring her, the ladies were not to be left behind. Rumored to cost around 1.7 million Rupees, they had their eyes on the vanity bagBirkin – Ms. Khar was carrying around. 😉
Fruitful day, must say for all those who love political and peace dialogues.

 

Oh on the other hand, our Madam beauty has safely landed in Mongolia! Sadly, it wasn’t important to make front page news!

No…no, I’m not comparing! 😀 :mrgreen:

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Posted by on July 28, 2011 in I~do~such~things

 

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[Guest-Post]~A Letter from an Unknown Terrorist!

Note: This is a guest post I just received via flight mail (courtesy: Hedwig – of Harry Potter fame) and the author signed himself as “Sreeram Shenoy – an unknown terrorist”! Strange, I’ve never heard of him! Anyway I’m posting it, as received!
Disclaimer: The owner of this blog does not endorse or support the relevance of the contents in this post. This seems to be totally fictional and he is just publishing it, proxy! Any character or plot that resembles to any person alive or party active is not to be seriously considered, and if otherwise, the owner of this blog gives a damn!

“Woh Kehte Hey Na
Jo Hota Hey Achche Ke Liye Hota Hey
Galat Kehte Hey”

Things are getting crazy on a day-to-day basis. The land of Kamasutra and Yoga is getting totally plucked and unrest! As humans we are very much addicted to being in the limelight, we deserve it or not. We love to stay in power and rule, we have leadership qualities or not. We love the moolah and find ways to grab as much greenery as possible, we need it or not. We live among hypocrites and are confused about what we should be. The law-abiding tax payers are proved to be stupid idiots, time and again.
We breath, we eat, we sleep, we watch cricket, we breed, we pollute, we swear, we advice, we flirt, we blog, we slog and amidst all these irrelevant activities – We Make Breaking NEWS!

Well here’s a peek at how we go about it…
Our day is not worth living unless we are fed with the happenings around – both – global and local, private and public! Earlier, a “feed” was something that only chickens were interested in. Now almost everyone subscribes to the NEWS FEED, be it ‘on the wall’ or ‘in their inboxes’!

The human memory is short lived, and we cannot get enough of the same crap going on forever. We need variety, we need change and we need it NOW!
The 2G scam was going in full flow, with arrests being made every other day – the accused being moved through fast courts, before being confined into the cozy corners of the prison. The King was caught first and then his (rumored-2-be) mistress (or is it – mystery queen?) followed His Royal Highness! They have been trying to get out ever since, with emotional dramas from their families especially by her dad, the erstwhile minister of a southern state. This was followed by accusations on their business side – the Suryavanshis (Sun) were attacked with one yuvraj pulled down and out of the central cabinet and the other being summoned to by the court. And worse, these accused belonged to a party who were allies of the morons ruling at the center.

It was decided that all morons would meet up, to decide on how to get out of the mess, how to divert attention of the public and the media persons and for a change, how to accuse someone else!
At the meeting, one experienced moron uttered “We need to get off the front page…too much exposure is too bad! I believe we need some mode of diversion”! As the rest banged their heads against each other, he suggested “How about an artificial terror attack? Wouldn’t that be breaking news, which would say for a while, let us loose?”! Glasses were raised; the contents gulped down and then banged down on the table, all in unison – to signal an agreement, usually a rarity of sorts.
How about bombing Chennai? We anyway have no power there, so no post-mortem work for us!” grunted one moron lifting his lungi to acceptable limits and playfully tying knots.
Nahi saaar, not there. Don’t you have enough cases against your party already? How about the capital, Delhi?” suggested the ex-boss of the Olympic committee over the conference call, connected directly from Tihar.
Non ci non, dove vivo…err…I mean…not there, not where I live! Do Mumbai!” silenced a shrieking female voice with a distinct accent!
Signora ok..fatto…consider it done..” said an assistant translating what an old man wearing sunglasses confirmed.
And so it was decided, MUMBAI – the city of many a dreams, would be a scapegoat again – for it is anyway considered to have the magical power of being able to stand up and run again, all by itself.

13th of July was the chosen date.
Today’s Newspaper says and I quote – ‘Those who have 13 letters in their names are dreaded terrorists…!’ giving examples of Dawood Ibrahim, Chhota Shakeel, Osama Bin Laden,  Saddam Hussein amidst others.
They missed Sreeram Shenoy out of the list, for reasons unknown to that particularly unknown terrorist.
 
If Sreeram Shenoy was the terrorist behind this attack, he would stand up – say on a ladder or something taller – and announce that HE was the reason behind all this attack! Since he didn’t, he decided to write and send in this guest post to my namesake! (Uff, very tough to refer myself in Third Party narrative!)
Not one among these morons who attended the meet seem to have 13 bloody letters in their names to stand up and own the responsibility. Some even changed their names recently, owing a cliché’ numerological excuse!

Anyway, the 2G scam is now off the burner as most of the police personnel will be assigned to the Mumbai case, as per the meeting plans! Meanwhile, this definitely gives some breathing space for the age old scriptwriter to script an unexpected-yet-amazing climax to the currently-out-of-hand 2G scam storyline!
This and more, in my next letter.

Till then – Guns&Roses,
Sreeram Shenoy
– an unknown terrorist

 
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Posted by on July 14, 2011 in Imaginative Bakwaas

 

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[Movie-Review]~Delhi Belly….Shhhh…it happens! :)

Statutory warning: DO NOT eat or drink anything an hour before and during the period of watching this movie. You won’t be able to eat after it ends, anyway!!

Three guys, three gals, one shabby rented house and its owner, one gangster, a few policemen, raunchy double meaning yet catchy songs and a lot of expletives is what this movie is all about.


 
As the title Delhi Belly throws a hint so evident, the movie is set out of India’s capital – Delhi. The three guys who share the rented house owned by someone with an extra marital libido, live their life by the least cared and unkempt wild highway. A journalist, a press photographer and a cartoonist by profession, these three guys live more by the expletives their mouths utter than the oxygen that they inhale. The journalist, Tashi (Imran Khan) has a stupid girl friend (why stupid…well, she’s rich and hawt…yet she’s behind this loser) who doesn’t have much role in the movie except that she’s a ‘courier’ (in mafia terms), and that too without her knowledge…100% stupid! The cartoonist has (or rather he thinks he has) a girlfriend who dumps him for a dumb geeky NRI. And the press photographer (who happens to eat a “spiced-up” tandoori chicken leg, on the Delhi streets) is always in search of a rest room during the 96 minutes duration of the movie, which explains the “belly” part of the title. Menaka (played by Poorna) is a to-be-divorced colleague-cum-friend of Tashi’s who happens to have a crush on him, gives him a hard as well as they share the only (but lengthy) lip-lock in the movie!

The storyline is all about a ‘packet’ that a Russian national delivers to the stand-in courier (Tashi’s girlfriend) at the airport, which exchanges various hands but doesn’t reach its destined owner – the gangster (Vijay Raaz). To know what reaches his desk instead of the packet, is exactly why you have to watch this movie (but remember the statutory warning written above!). The rest of the movie is all about what happens to the packet, the three guys, the three gals, the gangster as well as what’s in the packet!!!

The fast paced movie is full of expletives, especially in the first half which then loses steam in the second half as the director concentrates on his ultimate goal – the storyline and a meaningful climax (not that, you silly!)!! What makes it so fast paced, is the background score and the equally fast forward lyrics! DK Bose and Jaa Chudel steal the limelight…not just in the music world, but also in the movie hall.

Men (and some women) would love the toilet humor that the entire movie is smeared (eww) with…I would say –Rather than holding it back and feeling the pain, let it go and enjoy till it ends!’ – the urge to watch this movie, I mean! 😉 😛
This movie is certainly not for the weak-tummy-d for it’s tough to digest as well as to completely and voluntarily flush! 😉 On the other hand, you would turn jealous if you were among the constipated lot! 😛 Cos, as the tagline says “Sh!t Happens!” 😀

And oh, there’s Aamir Khan doing an ‘Item number’ at the end of the movie…spoof but nevertheless, hilarious!! 🙂

My rating: 3/5.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on July 4, 2011 in Movies, Reviews

 

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