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[Humor]~The Matrimonial Itinerary – 3… ;)

28 May

So where were we the last time we talked about this? Right HERE.

Now you are aware that your profile has been created on the matrimonial site(s) and you have no other go but to go with the flow (you feel happy, somewhere deep inside but then you’ll not admit it). So that night after everyone goes to sleep, you go online to check what your parents (or revenge-inspired siblings, as some of you stated in your comments) have put about you in the profile they created. You sit upright to re-read unbelievable stuff written in praise of you. You’ll be amazed about some stuff you get to read, some of which you didn’t know about yourself.
If you are a guy, you’ll be wondering or rather worried about the ‘religious, god-fearing’ personality of yours being portrayed. You’ll silently giggle (with a hiccup) at the ‘non-drinker’ ‘non-smoker’ label tagged to you.
If you are a gal, you’ll be happy to know that you are (still) slim/average and fair! Also you being ‘Traditional’ and ‘great cook’ may put you in repetitive splits of laughter! 😉

You’ll be elated, internally that is, to know from your mom that your profile has had over a 100 views in the first 24 hours and a handful of them have expressed their desire to give you a try. You feel like you are very much in demand, what with 100 odd views on your profile. However in that period of hyped excitement, you won’t realize that 90% of those views would be from onsite stalkers who get into the matrimony site just to watch your photos.

Meanwhile, you’ll have to bear those worthy friends of yours who’ll make your life all colorful with their ‘advices’ and ‘anecdotes’! They would tell you stuff that you’d digest at face-value.
“Since you got a choice to select, say no to any face that’s not better than a GeorgeClooney/KatrinaKaif!”
“Make sure you meet at least a dozen of them, in person. Nothing wrong in safely flirting with a few, before you settle with the right (13th – they don’t say this) one…”

Now that you’ve got the official license to go for the kill, you start digging profiles and find some faces interesting.
If you are a guy and if you set aside about 10 such profiles and send them a message expressing your desire to match with them – 7 of them will automatically reject you by mentioning that they would need a husband who earns a buck, way beyond your wildest imagination. Two more would need you to be what you are not – a vegetarian, a non-vegetarian, a drinker, a non-drinker, a non-smoker, a qualified MBA from an exceptional B-school – and that last remaining gal would already have a boyfriend.
If you are a gal and if you set aside about 10 such profiles and send them a message expressing your desire to match with them – 3 of them would be fake profiles. 3 more would shorter in height or have a beer-belly. 3 of them wouldn’t look like their profile picture and the last remaining guy would already have a boyfriend. Surprised? Don’t be. 😛

Well then…eventually as time lapses, you realize that matchmaking on matrimonial sites is more of snakes, than ladder. The one profile that may head your way will now get blocked by the next major hurdle – the Horoscope. How your own stars stand in the wrong boxes, and hence in your path to marital bliss (??) is something that the best of astrologers havent been able to establish! Yet they are all set to make a match of it, at a fee ofcourse. More on this, next time! 🙂

PS: Based on what I’m seeing my ‘eligible’ friends experience over the last 3-4 years. It’s fun to be a friend of someone eligible, if you have already been through that stage!! 😉

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2 Comments

Posted by on May 28, 2012 in Humor

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “[Humor]~The Matrimonial Itinerary – 3… ;)

  1. metherebel

    May 28, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    You are back with yet another post on matrimony.

    It was hilarious as always! Keep them coming 🙂

     

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