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Category Archives: Happens~2~me

[Short-Story]: One night of Helplessness and Ogling!! :)

Wrote this for a short-story contest (max. 2400 words) conducted at the internal blog at office…the theme was “One night”…with the condition that the story should happen over a night (8pm to 8 am).

&——————————————————————–&
     03:43 am – Saturday Morning – Now                                      
&——————————————————————–&

“What the @#$% he wants now?” I asked her.
“He’s asking the same thing again…” she looked beautiful while tensed.
“What??!! How many times shall we tell him the same damn truth…why can’t he understand?” I stood up.

“Sir, yenna ################################”

“Now what the…?”
“He’s requesting you to sit down, else he says he will put you behind those bars” her face was still fresh and radiant,

though I knew she was tired playing my translator.
“Oh hell…” I blurted as I sat down.
“Pls ask him how long are we supposed to wait like this?” I whispered to her, as if it was my dying wish.

“Sir, ##### time ######### wait #######?
“##### wait ########## time #####”
“OK sir”

“What did he say?”
“He again said we’ll have to wait till his inspector comes in…and he can’t specify the time!”
“What the hell did we do to face this?”
“Hmm…all in the fate dumbo, all in fate”…

&——————————————————————–&
     o8:18 pm – Friday evening – Last night
&——————————————————————–&

“Heylooooooooooooooo”
It was Gauri…only a fool couldn’t recognize that sweet chirpy voice…
“Hello…may I know who is speaking?”
“Hmmph…dumbo!! Haven’t you stored my number??!!!”
“Err…I’m driving now…speaking through my bluetooth headset…btw, am I speaking to Gauri?” 😉
“Whoa…you recognized my voice? how sweet!!” {Score…+1}
“Common…only a fool wouldn’t…wassup sweetheart?”
“How about a movie tonight? Blue!! Tickets are available at Mayajaal…10 ka show!!!!”
“Won’t it be late for you to get back to your hostel?”
“I’ll take care of all that…you in or not?”
“Ok deal…you are driving like last time?”
“Huh dumbo…shutup…pick me up at 9 – Lip Gloss parlour – on the road behind my hostel…”
“You are at a parlour? to watch the blue movie at Mayajaal? What the…hehe”
“Chiii pervert…just pick me up…catchya later!”

&——————————————————————–&
      09:10 pm
&——————————————————————–&

“Why the hell are you so late?” {Score…-1}
“Hmm…you wanna drive? we need 30 mins to reach there”
“Shutup you a$$, drive now…” she said as she parked herself pillion…

&——————————————————————–&
     01:30 am
&——————————————————————–&

“The movie sucked big time”…
“Who cares man…Akshay and Sanju in one movie…aww…gives me a high man!”
“Sigh…what’s with you gals and old men? btw, Lara was hot!!”
“Shutup…let’s go to the Bessy beach…I feel like seeing the sea for real now!!”
“At this time?? Are you freakin’ nuts?”
“Whatever…the weather’s just perfect for a walk on the sands”
“The cops will…”
“Ah! you and your fear for cops…legendary…common na, let’s go”
“I can’t believe am doing this…”
“Learn to live life, my style…”

&——————————————————————–&
     02:13 am
&——————————————————————–&

“Oh $hit!!!”
“What happened?”

“Sir, ###### stop ############### side ########”

“What the….I did tell ya that this could happen!!!”

“Sir, ##################################### DL ####”

“What the hell is he saying?”
“He’s asking for your driving license”
“I know that, but he said something else…what did he say before asking for the DL?”
“Err…nothing he just abused us about driving at this late hour”
“Happy now? so this is your style of life eh?”

“Sir, #######################?
I looked at her…
“He is asking you to blow on his face”
“On his face? Why the hell he wants me to do that? And why don’t you talk to him in Tamil and settle the issue?”
“Though I understand Tamil well, I dunno to talk proper dumbo…Kendriya Vidhyalay student, remember?!”

“Alcohol Check, sir”
“You know English sir? Why the alcohol test sir? I’m not drunk sir…went to a movie sir!!”
“Movie-aa?? #################”
“Yes sir…I have tickets with me”
“#################”
“What?” I looked at him and then at her…

“He’s asking you to blow on his chaand-jaisa-thopda” she grinned and silently winked…I heard a heart-beat skip…she looked

lovely…bright moonlight, cool wind, roaring beach, dark night…

“#################” reality sucked…chi thu…
“Yes yes, yes sir…phooooooooooooooo”
“Hmm…wokay wokay…good…movie tickets #########?” good? what the…
“Here sir…tickets”
“Hmm…Mayajaal? ################# Besantnagar #######?”
“Yes sir, from Mayajaal to Besantnagar!!”

“No dumbo…he asked what are you doing here in Besantnagar?”
“Oh ok”…turning his way “…beach sir beach…”
“Beach-a? ###### time ####### supply #################??”
I turned at her…she stood there silent…shocked…beautiful…wind blowing her hair….scintillating…

“He’s enquiring about the time and whether you…or rather we…are involved in drug supply!!!” Reality sucked…definitely!
“What the @#$%…is he crazy? How can he expect a guy and a gal supplying drugs driving on a freakin Activa?!!” I screamed a

whisper…
“Say no to him” she hissed…
“No sir….No….no supply”

“############# station ###### 320, vehicle ##########” he yelled at someone at a distance…

“Now what? station? 320 what?”
“He wants us to go with him to the police station!” she said looking at the dark figure running towards us.
“What!! He expects us to follow him?”
“No, he asked him…320 or whoever, to get the vehicle…” she clarified indicating at the puffing constable…

&——————————————————————–&
     03:04am
&——————————————————————–&

“Sir, Madam…#################### sir #########”

“He’s asking us to sit, till his sir comes in”
“When will his sir come in? Did he tell that?”
“No…” she sighed.
“Then ask him no…pls” I was now irritated.

“Sir, ########### time #########”
“Madam, time ############”

“He said that he can’t specify a time….”

“Sir, ###### supply #################??”
“Supply? no no sir…no supply…IT professional sir…not a drug peddlar” I stood up trying to pull out my purse from my

back pocket…
Two constables standing close by, were now pointing their rifles at me.
“No No sir…No…just purse sir…visiting card” I said instantly turning around and showing him that my parking space was

safe.
“##################################” the head constable ordered.
The constables returned back to their useless inactive positions.
“Sir, ##################### ukaar###########”

“He’s asking you to turn around and sit down quietly” she giggled.
“Hmm…enjoying eh? You would have loved to see those 2 morons there shoot me down na?? What could be their numbers? 420 and

840?” I almost smiled at my own poor joke.
She smiled at me…or rather my helplessness or at our sorry state. The police station is no confession place…but I must

say, at that moment she looked so beautiful. I smiled as I leaned my head, back to the wall…and sitting next to each other,

we waited.

&——————————————————————–&
     04:10 am
&——————————————————————–&

“I really can’t believe we are in this situation…imagine if our parents get to know about this” she shouldered me…
“Yeah…they would proud of your style, wouldn’t they?” I smiled at her….sarcasm never sleeps I guess…
“Shut up dumbo…isn’t this awesome?” she sat straight…looking around excited…
“Are you nuts? Didn’t you see how they drilled me? That jack-a$$ even made me blow on his face…it was so damn

disgusting..!!”
“Hehe…I remembered the Close-up advertisement while you were doing that!!” she giggled.
“That lady cop in the advertisement was damn hot…this fella here, was all heated-n-burnt…yuck…”
“I like that expression on your face…so very much like dumbo” her eyes glittered as she said that…and I fell in

love…sadly in a police station…approximately around 04:20 am…Is God making a fool outta me or am I actually dreaming?
“Hey open you eyes…am saying such sweet things about you and you are dozing off?”
“Eh…hey…ya….tell me…is the head cop here?”
“Huh…no…get up…am feeling bored” she went on and on…with her every expression playing with me…those blinking eyes,

wavy eyebrows, the loose hairs that fell now-n-then on her eyes, those fingers which set the hair back behind her ears, the

long ear-rings that kissed her dimpled cheeks with her every move…
“Are you listening to me? Say something no…” she seemed to utter…not a word did I hear…as I read her lips move…while

her nose twitched and the tiny dot of a mole on her chin, danced…I had no idea as to where I was…

&——————————————————————–&
     05:47 am
&——————————————————————–&

“##################### sir #######”

“He’s asking us to stand up…it seems his sir has come”
“Is he Gandhi or President Obama that we’ve to stand up? I will not…hmmph”
“Huh…don’t tell me later if he puts you behind those very bars there”…she said as she showed me a cell on her left…

“Hello sir”…we greeted the inspector, both standing on our feet…
“Hmmm…yenna ########…340, ###### case?”
“##############, case #########”

“What case are they talking about Gow?” I whispered.
“He’s asking why we are here….what the case is all about…just getting an update from that 340 fella” she whispered back aloud.

“Hmmm ##########, identity proof irka?”
“Yes sir…driving license, office visiting card…which one do you want?”
“Yes yes…###########” he mumbled.

“Which one did he ask?” I asked elbow-ing her…
“Show him both no…your pic on the driving license is scary though” he elbowed back harder.

“Sir…my DL and here is my official visiting card” I handed him both…
“Hmm…############ ABC ##### office??? ######## ABC #######!!” he smiled behind his bush of a moustache, as he sat back on the rock-solid-government chair. It actually screeched like two rocks when rubbed, as he rested his back.
Gowri was smiling too as I looked at her…helpless and lost…

“I think we are safe now…it seems his daughter also works at ABC!! He asked which office location?”

“Oh…Thoraipakkam sir…” I smiled at him as his pot-belly seemed to laugh at and make fun of me…
“############ late night movie ##################### ok-va?”

“Say ok…quick…” she elbowed…
“Ok sir”…

“Good #####”…he mumbled…

“What did I say ok to? what did he ask?”
“He said not to go for late night movies…it seems he doesn’t allow his daughter to go…some fatherly advice for you…good you agreed, sunny boy!!” she smiled as she patted my back…her smile…ah! divine…

“Sir…##########?” she asked him if we could leave…
“Wokay wokay #################…tea #########”
“Nandri sir ########” she said as she picked up her hand-bag…I got the signal…it was time to go!! 🙂
“Hey did he ask if we would like to have tea?” I enquired…
“Let’s go dumbo…” she said as she held my hand and pulled me out of the damn police station…

&——————————————————————–&
     07:10 am
&——————————————————————–&

“Wow…what an experience it was!!” she said as she got down from the bike.
“Hmm…yeah…one hell of a night…”
“Would you mind such an experience again?” she quizzed…was she serious? was she just pulling my leg? hmm…gals…you’ll never know…
“Ofcourse not….something like this…anytime…but without the cops, the police station, the helplessness, the blowing on faces…and such other nonsense..” {Score…+1}
“Hmm…me too…” phew…
“Anyways…go and sleep now…else you will complain about dark circles and what not!!”
“Shutup…talk to you later dumbo…it was fun!! By the way if someone asks, I stayed at my friend’s place last night ok??!! 😉 ” ah! the wink…another of the several heart-beats skipped…
“Gotcha…hehe…you bet…same here!!” I winked back, ignited and accelerated…

 
6 Comments

Posted by on November 16, 2009 in Happens~2~me, Stories

 

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Yay! I got an award…I am giving away too! :)

This is my first award on this blog…feels great…thanks Raji for the award!! I don’t know what impressed that soul who is a princess of the north east about the contents of my blog….which according to me is pure nonsense and useless. She must have thought, “Ah! single crazy guy…iske khote naseeb ke liye atleast award de deti hoon”!! 😉 Anyways, whatever reason it may be…she gave and I WILL take it…no one gives these days, for that matter! 😛
Waise princess, apologies for the delayed acceptance post (yes this one! 😛 ) 😀

honestscrapaward

And guys, there are certain rules to be followed before we can accept the award! 🙂

The rules are:
“When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real. Choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!”

Well honestly speaking its tough to puy 10 honest things about me…but then let me try:

1. I like to talk, but not over the phone…I love the animated expression on the face, that we get to see when we talk in person. On the phone, after a while (say 30 mins) I tend to ask “what else?” which I hate to ask! 😛 The hidden advantage is that its free to talk in person! 😛
2. I am a chatter box…so much that friends in college used to call me BBC. There used to be (still is 😛 ) a saying among my friend circle then which goes like “Want to spread the news? let Sree know!” :mrgreen:
3. I love colors…unlike most guys who dread Pink, I LOVE IT…when you can love women, why not pink…after all pink symbolizes women (as per me atleast)!! 😀
4. I rarely get angry, but if I do the recipient is dead meat! 😈
5. I love to write…about anything…prose, poetry…sense n nonsense…writing comes naturally I guess. Looking back, I had been editor of my school and college dept magazines…I loved those days being in charge of it all…post college, its been blogging!! 🙂
6. I love kids…be it my nieces or any kid for that matter. I simply envy the innocence they possess! 🙂
7. I love shopping…so much that given a choice, my dad prefers to accompany my mom/sis on their shopping spree than with me! :mrgreen:
8. I like to travel…mode no bar…places no bar…Next on card, is a North India tour this December…all by train! 🙂
9. Food…I can eat anything edible. Veg, Non-veg…Mom doesn’t have to think twice before preparing something for me…even if she doesn’t prepare, it just doesn’t matter cos I love to cook!! 😉 And I mostly experiment in the name of cooking! Any takers?! 😛
10. Friends…love to have them around…some stay for long, some quickly move on…but then they do leave a mark on my kora kagaz of a zindagi…and ya, I make friends quickly too…maybe the reason why am ok with the ones who move on…hmmm… 🙂

Yay! Done with the torture….its now time to pass on this honesty award and make them write their dastaan… 😉

Here I go:
1) ISD, the lady who sells dreams…my first blog friend in the external world…she hates flirts, loves SRK…damn, am such a perfect match! 😉
2) AKB, my ex-colleague and blog friend on the internal corporate blog…she writes just about anything…love the versatility!!
3) Nayna, the angel from UK…for the homely feel at her blog…and her poems too…
4) Preeti, the crazy damsel who writes bindaas about every THING! 😛 She’s now stuck in Bhilai…Can I say, my prayers were answered? 😛
5) Thousif, the dude for being my constant source of encouragement…n damn he writes so well… 😀
6) Amrita, for her style of writing…the hindi usage in her posts can bring any “flying angel” right on the ground…I salute the sarcasm! 😉
7) Brig, for being dormant most of the time..known for his macho comeback posts…let me make this award shawaard post his honest attempt at a comeback! 😛

 
15 Comments

Posted by on October 24, 2009 in Happens~2~me, Thoughts

 

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Photo clicks & a need for next door chicks! ;)

It’s been a long time since I have been off the external blogging circuit…the reasons are many, but then those reason seem so unreasonable for why I havent been around…I hate dormancy, but then probably a lot of factors got together and hatched a plan to unsettle me!

It all began with a health scare…lasting 2 days…followed by two weeks long of travelling along the Chennai-Bangalore-Mysore-Hyderabad-Chennai route…finally ending on the dentist’s chair diagonized with multiple root canals! Sigh…that was just the beginning…With the canals still being under construction within the interiors of my loud speaker, my honorable owner dude landed asking us to vacate the flat unless we cough up INR 3K ($60) more per month…it seems he heard from someone that its the “beginning of the end of recession”, so he decided to kill us with his nonsensical demand. Who’s he to screw up an already screwed up life? whatever…phak him! 😈

Sacred Learnings of the week: The actual meaning of FYA!! 😦
Usage: In corporate emails, superiors forward a received mail with a FYA…
I knew it stood for “For Your Action”! – this normally happens to be a “you are gonna get screwed by this” mailer!
Recently, got to know from a manager that it also stood for “F**k Your A$$”…which literally is the same! 😀

Anyways…enuf talks of sickness and sick abbreviations. Let me show you a few pics that I clicked in Hyderabad! 🙂
But before that, I sincerely apologize to the bloggers whom I followed for my conspicous absence on their blogs…I’m gonna visit you all soon, and as regularly as before! 🙂
Chalo photo voto dekhte hey..

 Golconda fort

Golconda fort

Same fort, from the top of it:

Golconda top view

The famed monument, Charminar:

Charminar Seedha view

Charminar, upfront and close:

Charminar side view

A few pics shot at Ramoji film City:

The huge painting on canvas: Lights, Camera, Action!

Lights, Camera, Action

The local hollywood! 😉

Local Hollywood

The animal shaped shrubs garden:

Animal shaped garden

Balcony show: Marilyn Monroe

Marlyn Monroe

Me ogling at Marilyn, made this dude sad…It took a while for me to convince him: Charlie Chaplin

Charlie-n-Guddu

And then the eternal bachelor called the single me to show something in that right side corner:

Bachelors

I quicky ran to get a photo clicked with her!! She did something that I badly needed (no, not “screwing” this time 😛 )…a spanner to fix the screw! she called them “leaks”…eeeks! 😉

she fixes

– Search is on for a new place…a paying guest room, with girls next door…wishes, prayers (and gifts for my-to-be-neighbors) welcome! 😛 :mrgreen:

Have a nice last week of August (it was disgust for me 😉 )!! 😛

 
11 Comments

Posted by on August 21, 2009 in Happens~2~me, Pics

 

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Emotional Cocktails – 3!! ;)

They say experience is the greatest teacher…
I would say “Why not when it slaps you hard, right on the face”… 😉

Ever had embarassing moments where in you’d end up not knowing what to do? Not knowing whether to smile, cry, stay or run away???
Welcome to an episode of “Emotional Cocktails” in my life so far…

You can read the previous cocktails HERE and HERE! 😀

Episode #15: The (grand)mother of all proposals

I stood up right then right there…
“E-e-e-e-e-excuse me…” I stammered…
“Will you marry my grand-daughter?” she asked again…
“Grand-ma?!!! what is this? what are you talking about?” Anita stood up angry and embarrased with both hands on her waist while I stood there as if I was a statue…not hearing, not moving…not able to run away.
Anita was a very good friend who studied with me from school upto college…her dear grandmother suffered from an incurable disease called “Old Age” wherein the major symptoms were like:
a) the obsession to get their grandchilren married.
b) get great-grandchildren within the stipulated natural course of time, if possible.
c) to act and behave like children while ordering like a responsible elder.
As Anita was explaining this to me, I still stood there as if I was a statue…not hearing, not moving, not able to run away…

Episode #16: An Anonymous mailer

I got an anonymous mailer from someone who follows me here. A paragraph in the mailer contained one of her dreams. It read somewhat like “I dreamt about you a few days ago. You, my cousin and me were in our school uniforms running down the street as we were getting late for school….As we were running, you held my hand and held me back as my cousin continued to move ahead. You then looked in to my eyes, and before I could say something you kissed me…you also murmurred some really nice verses into my ears before holding my hand and running down the street towards the school…wasn’t that too weird a dream? lolz”
I didn’t know how to react!! Whether to be happy that I got to kiss her or be sad that it was just a dream!!! 😀
To beat it all was the worst ever reply I gave…I replied to that part of the mailer “What color uniform were we wearing?” ..never to get a mail again…sigh!

emotional-confusion

Episode #17: The Missed calls

Till 3 months ago, each of us used to get 3 missed calls per day…we never bothered to answer those calls back.
They were on purpose missed calls from our house landlord. It was his way of reminding us to pay the rent on time.
3 months ago, he came over demanding an increase in rent…We did rap at him in chorus with ‘recession’, ‘downtrend’, ‘bear-market’, ‘crashed sensex’ and ‘economic disparity’ in our lyrics . The old man might not have expected such an emotional outburst…we didn’t mean to break his heart or hurt him emotionally but it was just an act to prevent bigger holes in our burnt pockets.
We used to crib when we got those missed calls then…but now we wait for them every first week of the month…

Episode #18: The Departure

Friends…they are the best thing that can happen to you over your lifetime…so stick on, some move on. And some want to move on, the third category!
These some want to move on, but stick on…blame their fate…you watch them struggling all through to make a move to something better, to fulfill an incomplete dream…
And when they move on, its both a low moment that they are leaving and going far away from you…on the other hand, you feel happy for them for having achieved what seemed to be impossible!! An emotional turmoil!! Hmm…

 
5 Comments

Posted by on July 2, 2009 in Happens~2~me

 

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[Bakwaas]~ Two Overseas Calls! ;)

Last week, I was working late past midnight and I got 2 unexpected overseas calls. 🙄

First call was from Ms. Momta Banner-ji (MB)…if you don’t know who she is, consider yourself blessed. If you do know her, well thank you cos then I need not tell you who she is…you save me the trouble of explaining what crap actually is. 😀

Me: Hello…
MB: Hallu….
Me: Hello….who is this?
MB: Momto Banner-ji isspeaking from right here…
Me: Who? right here where?
MB: No who…Momto…Momto Banner-ji isspeaking…from South of Africa-ji…
Me: Oh Momta…hello Momta…how are you? What are you doing in South Africa when Elections are going on in India??
MB: Bad sir-ji bad….I came here to cheer Kolkota kirket team sir-ji…
Me: What?!! Why did you go there…at this time?
MB: Now what to tell you sir-ji…it was not a good idea sir-ji!
Me: But why did you go there? 
MB: I was selected by Sah Rukh Kaan and our Dada as a Night-rider Cheerleader…I khelbo and jeetbo their cheerleader contest by record breaking botes sir-ji.
Me: Then what happened? Did you break your leg?
MB: No ji no…I was not yellawed to cheer for the Kolkota kirket team…No Hindustani can cheer in South of Africa sir-ji…
Me: Err…so you were campaigning for the cheerleader contest and not the general elections?
MB: More money in Eye-Pee-Yell sir-ji….and all safed (white)…
Me: Hmmm…but can you dance?
MB: I have made many of them dance…so you know, I got full-to experienced sir-ji…
Me: Ah…ok…so now what do you want from me?
MB: Sir-ji…write about the injustice done to me sir-ji…atleast let me get some sympathy botes from there to win the Elections this time…
Me: Err…ok…

And so I end up writing this conversation between us….pleash do bote for her…!! 😀

sree_on_call

Just as I was about to sleep…I got another call from an unknown number…

Me: Hello…
XX: Hello sir-ji..
Me: Who is this?
XX: Chopra…Aakash Chopra (AC) sir-ji…and I have Sanjay Bangar (SB) with me…we are on loud speaker…
Me: Oye…bond ki aulad…how loud? And why both of you calling me?
AC: Err…cost cutting sir-ji…so same call….we are being sent back to India by team management sir-ji…
Me: Hmm…heard it on the evening news…
AC&SB: Tell us what to do now sir-ji…
Me: Eh…didn’t you offer to join the cheerleaders?
SB: I did sir-ji…they were impressed by my moves and shakes sir-ji but then they said only local cheerleaders allowed up the stage…
Me: Hmm….come to India and take part in some reality dance show or join Momta Banner-ji…she can make you dance very well…I can recommend you to her.
SB: Eh…thank you sir-ji…that’s the best and only option I guesss now…I’ll cheer for her and hold the Banner up too…
Me: Err…whatever…
AC: But I cannot dance na sir-ji…?? 😦
Me: Well…why don’t you join A-run Lol and Sameer blah-blah on X-tra Innings? You morons can all sit together and jolly-chat about Cheerleaders, MANdira and well, sometimes please do talk about Cricket too.
AC: Huh…well…yes yes…sure…what an idea, sir-ji! Thank you sir-ji…

So now you know why you get to see Mr. Chopra doing some serious bheja fry on X-tra Innings…he only keeps quiet when MANdira comes on screen because…err…more on that later! 😛
And Mr. Bangar is lying low key…cos the latest gossip is that no Bandars (monkeys) and Bangars are allowed to cheer in any format of money games here. Yes this happens…only in India. 😀

 
9 Comments

Posted by on May 7, 2009 in Happens~2~me

 

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[Emosional Athyachaar]: Pink Panther! ;)

“Sree, why you always amidst gals?”
“Sree, how the hell do you manage to get ladies to read the crap you write?”
“Man…you are such a perfect example for magnetism! A Pink Panther!” 😛
“What is there in this post that gals liked? Tell me how to get women to read my posts, you A$$oul…!!!!”

ani

These are some of the questions that I am asked by most of the people whom I interact with on a day to day basis, be it online or offline! 🙂 Even I am astonished, to the level that I do not have a pakka answer to these kind of queries…
To be frank, as you know I am no pervert who goes on to do stuff or write things, just to get to know gals/women or to get their attention. 😛 Once I get to know them, I flirt…thats a different story…! :mrgreen:

It is true that I have more of gal friends than guys if I sit and get my mathematics right! In my office too, its the same story. How? Why? I have no idea. 
In my internal corporate blog, I did an analysis. I took an average of the last 5 posts that I had posted. Out of the 45 different ppl who commented, 37 were ladies. Out of the 8 guys who commented, only 6 were regulars and 2 asked me one of the above mentioned questions.
I talk mostly to women in my household…be it my granny, mom, sister (include her friends too…) or aunts…where there’s no end to the talks!! I call my mom, its a minimum 10 mins call…if I call my aunt, min 30 mins….if I call a gal friend, its either too short or too long (depending on her mood! :D)…if any of these call me, its a missed call!! 😉
It’s not that I don’t talk to my dad or uncles, but our conversations are limited to sports/politics/business/money/cars! Our answers are like synonyms in a thesaurus…one word and to the point.

The office guys/gals who follow this blog also wonder as to how I managed to get more lady commenters than males. I seriously dunno. I did do nothing special! 😉 Most of my lady commenters here I presume didn’t visit this blog cos I visited their blogs first, but I bet its the other way round. But in case of most male bloggers who visit and comment here, I visited most of them first or they are my colleagues/friends offline.

So how do I answer those questions?
And who will answer if I ask those same questions to myself?

Some answers are best unanswered! 😉

 
25 Comments

Posted by on April 19, 2009 in About me, Happens~2~me

 

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Bottom’s up!! :)

I have all the 24 hours of the day, but so little time. And thats the very reason, I have been out not posting much here nor visiting your respective blogs…echoos me especially for the latter! 🙂

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Life is running fast, am getting older with every sunset…! I am not phobic of old age, maybe cos I love sunsets and they happen to be so beautiful. My birthday is fast approaching too, and rumors around the household hint me that this could be my last birthday…err…am not done…wait for it…well just that, it could be my last as a bachelor. ( 😀 or 😦 …I am confused! ;))!
Now thats exactly what makes me think about life running fast, the approaching sunset and all that! 🙂
One thing which I enjoyed doing when someone was about to get fixed was to tease him or her about their would-be spouses. Someone said correctly that life is a circle, what goes round comes around. Now its my turn to be the victim of such an embarassment! Nevertheless, there seems to be no escape route.
I fear the time in May when my aunt from Mumbai would join her twin and along with my mom and granny in Bangalore rip me apart with their questions…she’s now active over the phone from Mumbai! 😉
1) What kind of a gal would you like to marry?
2) Does she have to be fair?
3) She should be lean or plump one would do?
4) Whats the minimum height you would expect?
5) Working woman or housewife?
6) What if she fights with your mom? whom will you support? (Me thinking: *$%^&&%$&*)
7) Post marriage, will you stay with parents or separate? (Since last 10 yrs I’ve been staying away from parents…so invalid!)
and so on…

If I had prior experience in all this, I would have answered all questions…but what to do, am a fresher in this aspect! 😉

About Politics in India…well I will call it Poli-tricks instead! Elections are fast approaching…so lemme talk about some famous ones who have done nothing so far politically when it comes to the actual development of the country!

1) Mr. Sanjay Dutt – If he really had the motive about joining politics, he should have planned well. He had 4-5 years to clear all the cases against his name. If you ask my opinion (why would you?), he never thought about joining politics in the first place. A man well known for Bacardi/Smirnoff parties, what would make him join a political party and Samajwadi Party of all parties?
He is someone who was never in control of his own life…AK-47 is an assault weapon which he was caught possessing, something which is not used for self defence as per what he had stated. Having gone into depression when he lost his mom Nargis, he has never got that control back. He’s been more of a follower than a leader…with his third wife Manyata now holding the remote control (read: finance)!!
Now with all this and much more, can we trust him a seat in the Parliament? He should stick to his acting, and not lose everything including his own family in the name of politics.
2) Mr. Md. Azharuddin – Our most successful cricket captain of the 90s, too was not in the scene till about 4-5 months ago..!! Its common knowledge that in search of muslim votes, he was pumped up and lifted onto cloud #9 by the Congress! Lets see if he scores or returns to the pavilion!!
3) Ms. Amisha Patel – The moment I heard that she was contesting, I was waiting for her to declare her “assests”. The number of votes she gets would be proportional to the number of perverts who have voted in that constituency! :mrgreen:
4) Mr. Varun Gandhi – He’s the ” Other Gandhi” who is currently the most loved by the Shiv-Sainiks for his anti-Islamic speeches! For someone who has a post graduation degree from the UK, he should be banished to the non-existing islands of Abekhaalegoogoo!! 😀

So………..
Shall I marry or join politics??? In both cases, my bottom’s gonna be up, just like how you see me in the pic!! 😛

 
9 Comments

Posted by on April 12, 2009 in Happens~2~me, Thoughts

 

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Exception(al)!! :)

im_not_geek

Over the last few weeks, I had been very busy…naturally the frequency of me posting my writeups here, had taken a backseat…14 hours of work plus 2 hours of travel took most of my daily time…

For an interactive person like me, this situation is pretty sad….

Friends started getting worried about my constant absence both online and offline. Two of you lovely ladies, Isd and CuteAngel were sweet enough to mail me enquiring if I was doing ok…Thank you buddies…its always a nice feeling if someone misses me, either for my posts or for my visits on their blogs…whatever be the reason, it means a lot…Owe you one ladies! 🙂 

Also not finding me available on the office communicator, I got mails from a few close buddies asking me if I was alive…Yes, I was indeed alive but in hell!! 😉 Thanks guys for those caring mails!!  🙂

Four weeks ago, I was on bench with no work allocated to me…and then I got an opportunity to replace a guy who was going on leave for his wedding in a highly sensitive project and with complex reports to be developed, but more importantly to capture the work ethics in 2 days time before the groom left on his approved leave. I was supposed to be his best man at work!! 😉

Three weeks of replacement time ends this coming monday, and  I must say it was the best learning experience in the shortest time possible…Over a week, I got used to the 14 hours per day routine that I will now miss (unless I get screwed again in the next assignment! :P) for sure. 

It was lovely to work in co-ordination with my onsite guy…he was helpful to the last detail…I would say, it would have been impossible without him and his constant push…!! Thanks man! 🙂

And best thing is that the clients are happy with what I have delivered in the last 3 weeks and so was my onsite co-ordinator and manager…so the efforts were worthwhile…yay! 😀

For the two weeks that I was on bench prior to this project, I was involved in the making of a video of my parody for the annual day event of a few verticals in my company. I had a lovely time writing the lyrics and the storyboard…as well as in the directing and editing of the shoot!! Though I missed attending the event owing to work, I got to know that at the event there was a loud roar of applause and cheering…the feedbacks by a handful who saw it offline have also been awesome…!! 😀

As of now am working on a photo-video for another event thats coming up next tuesday!!  And I’m lovin’ it!! 😀

 
19 Comments

Posted by on March 28, 2009 in Friends, Happens~2~me

 

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One query~ What if a gal seduces?

He has a friend…She loves to ask questions…very straightforward and cut-throat! 🙂
She has a friend….He loves to answer questions…in a very straightforward yet crazy way! 😛

He is ME! 🙂

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Today she had asked one out of the blue. I wasnt surprised. It helped me think, making me realize that my top floor is not yet vacant! 😉

Her question was a set of 3 sub-questions:

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What would you do if a gal who is your frend, is tryin to throw herself at u…kinda seducing you??

What would you think of her?
What would your reaction be?
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My answer:

Hehe…I love to answer such emosonal questions! 😛

Ok let me go through it in an analytical way as I would approach my coding! Obviously there would be bugs, so echoos me! 😛
 
Requirement:
So this gal is my friend…and she’s trying to seduce me…what would I do?
 
Clarification:
She’s just flirting or she wants to go all the way?
 
Analysis:

CASE I: If I somewhat have feelings for her –

Two possible logics:

1) I know her since a long time, but her urge is very much evident now – where “long time” >= 1 yr.
2) I know since a short while…and she’s trying to force herself on me – where “short while” <= 1-2 months
 
Logic 1: I would try to understand about the sudden change in behaviour…if she’s openly seducing, I would feel ok about it…but would ask queries…
What would I think of her? – I would think of her as someone who’s got so much used to me, that she thinks of having me for herself.
What would my reaction be? – As said, I would go with a lot of queries depending on how she seduces…if direct, then direct queries else I would beat around the bush…mainly due to the fact that I have known her for a year or more…I would not completely distance myself from her.
 
Logic 2: I would be surprised for what she’s suddenly upto in a short while of knowing her. I would still ask queries but wouldnt be as easy going as in Logic 1.
What would I think of her? – I would think of her as someone who has a strong uncontrollable libido. In short, a BUG.
What would my reaction be? – I would immediately stand at an arms distance. And ask her direct queries, without beating around the bush!
If logic 2 happens to continue in loop, I would terminate the program! 🙂
 
CASE II: If I have no feelings for her –
 
Ask a lot of direct queries…just to understand the urge!!
But finally terminate the program! 🙂
 
What do ya think? Am I executing the program correctly? 😛
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Am waiting for her to test the program! 😉 What do you think?

 
21 Comments

Posted by on March 7, 2009 in Happens~2~me, I~do~such~things

 

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Kaam….Aaaram! (Work….Rest!) :)

bench_trilogy

Kaam…
Hum khoob karte the!
Aaraam…
Kya hey? Ye poocha karte the!

Din ho ya raat…
Kaam ki thi baat!
Tha bus chai ka saath…
Na dost na ghar, jaise anaarth!

Kaam….
Hum liya karte the!
Aaraam…
Ka khwaab dekh bhi naa sakte the!

Badal gaya zamaana…
Recession naya bahaana!
Taala laga hua khazaana…
Bandh hua jashan manaana!

Aaraam…
Karne ki aadath nahin!
Kaam…
Karte rehna lagta hey sahi!

Nahi hoon pareshan about my bhatakta mann…
But the worry is about the badhta tann!
Bench pe tashreef actually pains… 😉
But kya kare, boss says profitability constraints! 😛

Aaraam…
Main kar nahi sakta!
Kaam…
Kiye bina main reh nahi sakta! 😀

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English Translation:
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Work…
We used to do in lots!
Rest…
Whats that? We used to ask!

Whether day or night…
Talks were about work!
Tea was our only companion…
No friends nor family, just like orphans!

Work…
We used to take!
Rest…
We couldn’t even dream about it!

The situation has changed…
Recession is the latest excuse!
All treasures are locked…
All treats have stopped!

Rest…
We are not used to it!
Work…
Doing it seems to be the right thing!

I’m not bothered about my wandering mind…
But the worry is about putting on weight!
Sitting on bench, it actually pains… 😉
But what to do, boss says ‘profitablity constraints’! :mrgreen:

Rest…
I cannot do!
Work…
Without which I cannot live! 😀

 
10 Comments

Posted by on February 26, 2009 in Happens~2~me, I~do~such~things

 

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