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Category Archives: I~do~such~things

[Candid]~ChittyChattyColleague! :)

As I walked into the corporate office 8 long months after being deputed at the customer location, I saw a gentleman approaching with a big smile on his face.

With the company dress-code being made very flexible in the recent past, he was pretty much neatly dressed for it – a tucked-in collared t-shirt, blue jeans that seemed last washed in August and a branded pair of sport shoes. While he walked
along besides me towards my bay, I could sense the green tag around his neck ending up safely within the insides of his t-shirt pocket.

As I took my designated seat in the bay, he seemed all prepared for an uncalled chitchat session as he made himself comfortable at my desk right next to the monitor.

He: “Hey dude, long time. Where had you been? Oh right, you were working out of that client location. Is that assignment done?”
Me: “Hiii, yes I was at the customer location and I’m back here from today.”
He: “Good good, your client was S***** right…heard you had a great time over there?!”
Me: “Don’t know who gave you that information of me having a great time, but yes you got the customer name right!!!”
He (laughs): “No one did, I was just making small talk…Haha…ha!”

I smiled, as I saw him get himself all well settled with his back now being rested against my desk dashboard.

He: “So have you got into a project or what?”
Me: “No, not yet…”
He: “Aish hey yaar…enjoy your time while on bench, for once you’re tagged to a project it’s gonna be tough. Just look at me, for instance!”.
Me: “Yeah right! You seem to be very busy these days!”

I say that, as I take a look (stare??!) at his t-shirt pocket. I see a ball-point pen with “Nayantara’s photograph” on its handle.

He: “Stop staring at my chest yaar.”
Me: “Err…I was just…”
He: “Haha…Ha…just kidding yaar. You can stare as much as you want to!”.
Me (Ewww, in mind): “Err…well, no…I was just wondering who you…I mean how some of you…anyway, where did you get that pen?”
He: “Ah! So you were staring at this pen-ah?! It’s a long story, will tell you during lunch time.”

Lunch time?! Oh no…he was getting more than comfortable now with his legs swinging in the air, for every word he said, for every move he made while his eyes gaze around checking out the fairer junta.

Me: “Oh that’s fine. I’ve a team lunch today. I’ll listen to your pen-story some other time.”
He: “Team lunch?! Whom you trying to make a fool out of, man…you’re on bench no, you just said yourself!”
Me: “That’s correct. What I meant is that my ex-teammates have all come over here and they’ve called me to join them for lunch!!”
He: “Hmmm…So you got married some 2 years back right? Any issues?”

As I wonder what he meant by “issues”, his phone rings “Aa ante Amala…” in decibels exceeding the normal acceptable limits.

He: “Apologies…I gotta take this, an important call!”

Thank god, for it saved me from getting into an awkward topic.

He: “Sorry boss, wrong no.
I’m in a meeting right now, please don’t call me during office hours.
Yes 9-6, but I reach home only after 7:30 ok-wa?!”

He: “So where were we?!”
Me (in taunt mode): “Was that your wife on the call?!”
He: “Hey! So you think I got married without telling you-ah?! What man you…”
Me (now in guess mode): “Oh, but I thought…”
He: “Yes yes, I had a girlfriend. She had a boyfriend, but it was not me. Girls are tough to understand man. Big mistake I did, in trying to assume things. Long story, will tell you sometime.”
Me: “Sorry, my bad man. It’s ok.”
He: “No, it’s not ok. You write blogs no, this could give you a good storyline.”
Me (in scary mode): “You read my blog?”
He: “No, I’ve not but I heard that you do. You must teach me how to, man. Maybe I could find someone I like, you know?!”
Me: “What?!”

Then after some more senseless exchange of sweet-bitter nothings, he got down my desk to eventually take leave, with a promise to get in touch(??) again.

As he left, I asked the colleague sitting next to me if he knew who that guy was. My neighbour who was all the while a silent partner in the conversation laughed, stating “You so wished his ID card wasn’t inside his pocket, isn’t it?! Me too!!” 😀

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Posted by on October 14, 2013 in Candid, Humor, I~do~such~things

 

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“No God to Pray”: My entry for the Get Published contest.

She was wise, cheerful and nice. She was wild, Destiny’s very own nature loving child. She was poetic, quite innately artistic. Poised and mute, she was pretty cute. A dream of every guy, she was Oindrita M Gogoi and went by the nickname, Princess.
Life was all about implementing the Logic, as she wrote code to earn her living as a software professional. Love took a backseat, as all her free time was spent in artistic pursuits.

He was a romantic, who loved his music. Gelled his hair in spikes, he simply loved motorbikes. Medium height and fair, he was a debonair. A dream of every girl all night and day, he was Sushil P Deshpande and went by the nickname, Ryder.
Life was all about maintaining the Logic, as he debugged and re-wrote code to earn his living as a software professional. Love took a backseat, as all the free time was spent his on-road pursuits.

And then there was Gatsu or as his parents had named him, Gatsukh P Chawla. Ironically, he lacked the very guts. He was mysterious, face-less and socially-awkward. A self obsessed Anil Kapoor fan, he loved to brag about the abundant hair growth on his torso. A wannabe poet, his writings spoke about evergreen eternal love for a mystery woman, but his demeanor stated just otherwise.
He followed Princess, in person and on her blog and even considered her as his best friend.

What makes the story ‘Real’:
It’s a story that tells you about life not always presenting a pretty picture.
There are times when the mind acts weird with all creative juices getting blocked. In times such as these, it’s depression galore for Princess.
There are also times when after that lost drop of fuel, life seems to head nowhere. In times such as these, it’s depression galore for Ryder.
It also tells that no situation is permanent, as the protagonists get around to discover the one thing that finally seems to be common among them – Love.

Extract:
And in the summer of 2008, Destiny decides to play its part.
Of all places, at a Corporate Personality Development class they get to meet. The trainer asked the participants to talk on three positive things about themselves. Amidst all the similar and boring answers, stood out one confident reply – “Good Looks, Good Looks and Good Looks” – and of every head that had turned towards the beaming Ryder, one head continued to look at him a tad longer with her little blue eyes, all so mesmerized!

‘Is this Love?’ she asked, no one in particular. In her moment of confusion, “Oh Dear God!” she voiced aloud in her mind, only to feel guilty immediately for she knew no God, to pray or plead! In happiness or pain, she was never taught to seek out to HIM.

Meanwhile in another part of the world, Gatsu was in his own dilemma on whether ‘to poke, or not poke Princess’ on her FaceBook profile.

This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs from Yashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on January 20, 2013 in Contests, Friends, I~do~such~things, Stories

 

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[Review]~Sethji, by Shobhaa De’…

He was poor. He was a self-made man. He was shrewd and ruthless. He considered himself the modern-day Chanakya. He was Sethji.

She was ‘a woman’. She was married into a political family. She had no choice. Her body was her deadliest weapon. Her name was Amrita.

Shobhaa De, the author of “Sethji” weaves a tale around a political setup. As a reader, you can almost guess who she is pointing/referring at, if you are aware of our biggest reality show called ‘The Indian Politics’.
The author is well aware of the fact that in India (and outside too), Sex and Erotica sells, and she has made sure to add this masala in almost every chapter of the book. 55-56 chapters, so you can imagine how much!!

At some places, the masala seemed so invalid like how Bollywood adds songs in between two serious scenes of a movie. Something like:
Scene1: Heroine’s father/mother is serious and is struggling for life in an ICU.
Dream Song: The heroine is running wildly around the trees, not praying for her father’s/mother’s health but mockingly escaping from being groped by the hero.
Scene2: The hero is on his way to the hospital and meets with an accident as he was busy dreaming the song sequence while driving!

Point is: At some of the places in the plot, the masala write-up just wasn’t needed. Amrita has not just been exploited, but over-expoited, time and again!

The novel as such is a political drama, the storyline of which I will not divulge for the sake of those who would like to read ’Sethji’. All I can say is that, there is – pain, confusion, betrayal, assassination, infidelity, incest and too much of life ka drama.
The book is a good read, if you like – Indian Politics, Metaphorical Characterization (you will keep guessing as to which political/bollywood bigwig the author is talking about, throughout the length & breadth of the book!), the Masala (to an extent, who doesn’t?!) and Shobhaa De’s free flow (straight-talk) writing style.

IMHO – Shobhaa De’s much better & crisp when it comes to her shorter write ups (newspaper columns, blog posts, etc) than in her novels. A little more efforts in editing would have improved the end product (Found a few spelling typos myself!).

Note: If I’ve known Shobhaa De well, by reading her writings till now – I’d definitely NOT believe that the story of this novel to be entirely fictional, as she and Penguin (the publisher) puts it to be. 😉

Rating: 3.5/5

Image courtesy: Penguin Books India.

 
5 Comments

Posted by on November 27, 2012 in books, I~do~such~things, Reviews

 

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[UnReview]~Heroinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ;)

I did not want to do this, but then such a juicy opportunity at being appreciative of something *what’s the word* comes in very rarely!

I don’t know what my crazy stars were up to or in which direction did the sun rise on that wonderful day that I booked tickets for ‘Heroine’. I can see that you are already tempted to close this page, for you are sure I’ll give out the storyline. No, don’t worry about it cos even after watching this epic, I wondered about what the storyline actually was.

Anyway, this is not a review of that movie for I do not qualify to criticize something that is, well…not something!
Instead let me note down a few pointers, which the makers had to keep in mind to give it a chance to get itself nominated for the Oscars.

1. It doesn’t matter if you have dialogues or not, but have a storyline. See Barfi.
2. Getting inspired from newspapers to create a movie? Really? If at all you have to get inspired, then go for Notebook/notepad/ipad/etc. See Barfi.
3. It doesn’t matter how much of ‘Fashion’ you have in the movie. It matters if you have Priyanka Chopra. See Barfi.
4. It’s actually ok if you wear much more than a handkerchief. You’d have something to wipe off that perspiration on your brow. See Barfi.
5. You can love someone or be loved even if you are just a nobody. See Barfi.
6. Creating hype increases expectations. Instead, make a movie silently or make a silent movie. See Barfi.

It was all ok till the mid of first half. Then it seemed like the director had forgotten his script back at home/hotel or had lost it to fire. The result of that was it took me 2 full days to recover from what I got to see for the last 75% of the movie’s duration.
Anyway, who am I to talk about someone’s creative thought process? To each his own, isn’t it? Well…so, do not miss to watch Heroine, for it won’t long last. If you end up disappointed at missing it, then See Barfi. 😉

 
8 Comments

Posted by on September 25, 2012 in Humor, I~do~such~things, Movies, Reviews

 

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[Humor-Poetry]~Can Sakhu Bai ask Why?

Hello Namaste Vanakkam, yo! I’m back again…
Still hot and beautiful I’m, Aayi Shappat, hand on my brain!
Say you didn’t miss me, without telling a lie…
Can Sakhu Bai ask why?

Btw, what do these men think?
That if I speak nice, they can pick me with a wink?
Now all I feel is that there is not one decent guy…
Can Sakhu Bai ask why?

I bought a car, which runs on deejil…
As petrol is costly for a tank fill…
And just now they increased deejil cost by five…
Can Sakhu Bai ask why?

Life is funny, and to screw it would just be an irony…
I believe in Karma, and so not always safe to meddle with destiny!
When someone smiles, it’s always more than what meets the eye…
Can Sakhu Bai ask why?

I wondered what scam they could do with a toothpaste…
When all day on television, I got to hear about Co(a)lgate…
When I understood, I realized India Shining was just a lie…
Can Sakhu Bai ask why?

*****************************************************************
Note: The English language is deliberately twisted at a few places in this poem…so my dearest English pundits, please echoos me…this is purely a desi-flavored masala!!

Translations & Twists:
Aayi Shappat = Mother Promise
Deejil = Diesel
Vanakkam = Welcome/Hello

Other Sakhu Bai Poetry: HERE 🙂

 
5 Comments

Posted by on September 15, 2012 in Humor, I~do~such~things, poetry

 

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[Contest]~Marriage: Who Convinced Whom? :)

“As she crossed the road that noon, it was like she had walked right into my life.”

Arranged marriage or Love marriage? Only a few get to experience both, so that they can compare which one turned out to be better for them. In case of the majority, the grass seems to be greener on the other side.
In either of the cases, the condition or situation is the same….only the dialogues differ.
This is how the spouses would go against each other:
Love marriage: ‘Having known you for like 3 years before marriage, I don’t know how I succumbed into getting married to you?’
Arranged marriage: ‘This is why I always felt that it was dangerous to agree for an arranged marriage.’
The only difference I can feel is that in love marriage, you re-experience something which you wouldn’t have liked earlier but had overlooked…while in arrange marriage, the same thing you’d have assumed to happen (and universe brings together its sources, and makes sure it does happen) happens.
With respect to the pain, I believe it is of the same level, though it’d be of different nature.

And then there can be difference in thoughts:
One who had a Love marriage: “Why didn’t I listen to my parents and settle for a gal/guy of their choice? Why was I stubborn to marry this one?”
One who had an Arranged marriage: “I should have proposed to her/him. What if she/he was someone else’s girlfriend/boyfriend? Why did I agree to marry someone my mother chose?”

The Complication lies in the Art of Convincing!
In case of Love marriage: You got to convince your parents, her/his parents, first circle of relatives (believe me!) on both sides, grandparents (if they are still authoritative), in some cases the long term neighbors (who’d have dreamed of getting their kid – if of the suitable gender – married to you) and even their dog!
In case of Arranged marriage: The whole universe around you tries to unite – come together in a miraculous manner – in order to persuade/convince you to agree to their choice! Even the dog, wags its tail.

If you are thinking about what happened in my particular case:
I was brought up in a jovial environment where arranged marriages were considered to be successful and hence, forever trending! And the love marriages that did happen in the family were between two individuals who belonged to the same caste/sub-caste and speaking the same mother tongue. So it was put down (in no writing) that if I was to have a love marriage, I’d have to find a gal who spoke my mother tongue. It made no sense to me and I played the ball into my mom’s court:
Horoscopes were matched, elders gave in their blessings. Only then was I given her email ID and asked to go figure. Though talking to girls was a casual affair, this was new to me and so I struggled. On getting her phone number we spoke for over 3 weeks at an average of 2 calls of 45 mins each per week. And when I went to meet her for the very first time, she crossed the road from the other side as if she walked right into my life.
It was first time for me in terms of arranged marriage 😉 so I wasnt’t aware of the procedure and hence I told her on the spot that I loved (meeting) her and it was a yes from my end. I consider it to be a Arranged-Love marriage from my end, for I had no clue that as per the protocol, I was supposed to convey my yes/no through my parents to her parents/relatives. She took her own sweet time (which was painful for me, in terms of the waiting period and uncertainty) to agree to my proposal and the rest as they say, is history. 😀

This is my entry to the Indiblogger’s contest – Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage!

Also on Facebook – HERE.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 30, 2012 in Candid, Happens~2~me, Humor, I~do~such~things

 

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Of that Choice You Should Make! :)

It was just another Friday and I was so relieved to get back home at the end of the day. Riding my two wheeler, I had just crossed the Pallikarnai marshes that I saw a man wave a white flag thereby indicating the vehicles to move over to the newly laid road from the road we were currently on. I remember riding at the 30-40km/hr speed when I moved over to the new road and then things blanked out….The time was around 6:30pm.
Of what I remember over the next one hour is this:
I was being repeatedly asked to get on the pillion seat of a stranger’s bike, by another stranger.
I finally did that, all by myself, exactly what the stranger was requesting and sat pillion on a bike – not knowing, not asking, not bothering where I was heading to.
I remember getting down from the bike, before I blanked out again.

When I re-gained my senses next, I was on the hospital bed with the nurse asking me my name to fill out a form, mandatory for receiving further treatment. Not being able to recollect, I requested her to give me some time and she agreed.
Meanwhile, First Aid treatment was being administered by a junior doctor by the bedside. The stranger (kudos to him, for doing all that he did!) was standing beside me looking at me blankly, maybe just reflecting my expression. There were stitches being sewn on the little finger of my right hand and the other cuts on the same hand were being wrapped with antiseptics and bandages by two doctors simultaneously.
The stranger offered his cell phone so that I could call up my family and inform. I called up my mom & wife (she was out of Chennai) and though I could get to hear their phone ring, strangely none picked up my calls. After he paid my bills, I was dropped by him (again pillion ride) to my home by 8:00pm.

Only after reaching home did I come to my actual senses. I got myself introduced to the stranger as well as asked about him (and his bank details to transfer all the moolah he had spent on my treatment and medications!).
Since my cell phone was damaged during the fall, I moved the sim card to the spare cell phone at home. And then again, I tried calling up my mom/wife to inform about the incident. This time both picked the call and were at their advising best! 😀 They hadn’t received the previous call from the hospital – and I believe I had earlier dialed wrong numbers (of the two numbers, I remember)!! I left for Bangalore that night, for 3 weeks of bed rest for the X-rays revealed hairline fractures in 4 of my ribs!

Looking back, as to how I managed to not hurt myself elsewhere I decided to go take a look at my HELMET. There was a huge crack at the jaw line and skull area.
So in short, I wouldn’t have been writing this post and the posts I published since March this year, if not for the HELMET I CHOSE TO WEAR! #truestory

Life is short, just 100 odd years….Life span is shorter, just about 60-80 years….how much you want to live, is your choice.
Life always gives you two options, for every situation. The result of it, depends on what you choose!
So when you drive: Choose to wear a HELMET (with the buckle on) when you ride a two-wheeler and Choose to wear that BELT (buckled again…not hand held) when you drive a four-wheeler. Not the other option!

Drive safe and choose to live on,  for one another ride/drive! 🙂

PS: I’m much better now, though I’ve not yet started riding that two-wheeler again!! Soon… 🙂

 
7 Comments

Posted by on July 29, 2012 in Candid, Happens~2~me, I~do~such~things, Thoughts

 

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