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Category Archives: Imaginative Bakwaas

[Post#200]~ My name is Ram, and I’m not a God! :P

This post is in response with Blogadda’sTribute to Dad” contest.

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“I said no…”

“Dad…please dad…I’m calling you at STD rates, paa, please!”

“No…what do you think of yourself? I said no…this is Kalyug, not Dwapar or Treta yug for me to arrange you a swayamvar!!”

“But dad…I know you couldn’t help when grandpa named you Dashrath…for he himself was named Aja…but then you could have stopped this whole Ramayan, by not naming me Ram – isn’t it? How nice it would’ve been, had you named me Raj or Rahul?”

“Ram, you always complain to me about your name…who asked you to take birth during Ram-Navami? Your grandpa was so sure that Lord Ram had arrived and forced me to write your name so in the hospital records!!”

“Who asked to take birth?!! Dad, you should have planned it all properly…but then on second thoughts, what if I was born on Oct 2nd…nahi, jo hua achche ke liye hua…everything happens for its own good…”

“Huh…imagine how much of history I’ve manage to change in an otherwise ‘Perfect Ramayan’ that your grandpa wanted to script with this family of his. If I had not resisted his obsessive insanity, you would have had Bharath-Lakshman-Shatrughn along with their 2 mothers living over here.”

“Oh yeah…how did that not happen?”

“Your mom, Kousalya would have stripped me – off my skin.”

“Well dad…this is my 11th year away from home in this corporate jungle…how much ever I try to get back home, 14 years away seems to be in fate. However, during his exile he had his wife and brother for company. If Valmiki has written my whole life story then swayamvar would be a part of it. Waise bhi, it’s always better than a straightforward arranged marriage!”

“You are impossible son, simply impossible. By the way, tell me one thing. Did you by any god-forsaken chance apply to take part in that nautanki Rakhi’s Swayamvar on TV?”

“Err, well dad…I did apply….and got selected too. But then when Rakhi came to meet me, I didn’t like her nose…it seemed all plastic, as if like she’d done a nose job. Not just the nose paa, you know the…”

“Ok ok…that monkey friend of yours would have given you this idea to register for that swayamvar, didn’t he?”

“Hmmm…yeah Maddy…and he’s perfectly human Daddy…perfectly human.”

“Ya ya I know all your friends…useless fellows, they keep playing bridge all day by the beach-side”.

“Dadddd…you are deviating from the topiccc…Swayamvar…when will you host one for me? I am serious…”

“I’m doubly serious son…no swayamvar and all…I’ll find you a Sita…god knows on which island she’s waiting for you”

“Hmm…but do not name her Sita…I like Senorita, Simran or…”

“Rekha?”

“Daaaddd…I’m talking about naming my wife-to-be…you can re-name mom as Rekha, grandpa won’t comeback to haunt you…neither would mom complain…hehe”

“Shh…your mom doesn’t know about Rekha…its been a long call, STD remember??”

“Hehe…thats fine paa…By the way, Maddy is flying to Srilanka this weekend on an assignment…Is this a sign?”

“Shut up…tell him to have a safe flight and see to it that the tail doesn’t catch fire…”

“Dad…I am serious about this…what if this is a sign? I’ve anyways given him my resume and passport copy as identity proof…I think its high time for me to explore new shores.”

“You are already far away from us Ram, how much farther do you want to go? That too in search of Sita…we should have got you married before you left for what seems to be an exile!”

“Hmm…But paa…”

“And what happens if some Rakhi captures your mind with her low-cut and latest fashion clothes…I had fallen for Rekha too once, so its all in the genes…and micro-minis.”

“Err…but paa…”

“Nothing doing…listen to your paa…come over here, cos this is where you belong…We’ll find you a nice Rekha, and get you settled…I’ll put your profile on the matrimonial site, in the classified newspaper columns, open a page for you on Facebook…lets do it in a modern way Ram!”

“Ok….but paa…not Rekh…”

“No if, no butttt…you just come here…”

“Ok paa..but what about Maddy?”

“Ask that monkey to return before his back gets tanned…now keep the phone down…Kousalya is calling me from the garden!”

“Haha…ok dad…bye”

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When Ravan’s character can be twisted and made into a movie, I thought why not twist Ram’s character for a post?
How was it? 😛

For customized/personalized T-shirts, gifts, mugs, posters, teddy’s, etc…search no more, just visit www.pringoo.com – just express your individuality!! 🙂 I’ve THIS gift cos me a like paa, like son! 🙂

 
16 Comments

Posted by on June 22, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, Stories

 

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[Bakwaas]~A Rakhi on TV is better than on hand or around you!! ;)

What I have learnt recently is that, ‘being a bachelor and staying away from flirting is very similar to sitting comfortably on a steel plate kept on a lit stove‘.
But as you all know, I’m strictly vegetarian if flirting is considered non-vegetarian in nature! Hmm…

Anyways…what happened was…last night I was sitting in my drawing room watching television. There was no power, so I was just watching my reflection in it. My housemates were not yet home and the dwarfed piece of candle burning over the television set was my only companion. As I was manufacturing different shapes of shadows on the wall, there was a knock on the door. Expecting my housemates, I opened the door. For a moment, I was shocked to see the “figure” standing on the other side of the door. And by the time I recovered, we were on the same side. And I tried my best not to collapse, cos I didn’t want to fall into ‘those’ hands! 😉 As I was about to open my mouth, I heard a man-ly voice speak…

“Jee-Jussss…what the happened to you ji? Eeeesh the everything alright?”…
My mouth went dry…I didn’t expect this item lady to be at my place…What was she here for?
“Yes yes…am ok…who are you?”
“Haaaaaayeeeeeeeeee Jeeeee-Jusssssssss…don’t the you know me?”
“Err…do you know me?”
“Don’t the joke re…don’t the joke…ofcourse re baba, I know the you…now bolo, you know the me na? I’m the Rakhi re, the Rakhi Sawant…world famous on telebijon”.
“Hmm…it’s dark na…pehchaan nahi paaya…didn’t recognize”.
“Koi baat nahi re, chikne…no the problem, no”.
“Hmmm…what are you here for?”
“I don’t the beat around bush…coming straight to the matter ji…”
“Well…ok….”
“Me the heard ki you are the most legitimate bachelor who talks aloud about being the bachelor…”
“Err…what? who legitimate? me? you mean eligible?”
“Haan wahi..shame to shame…and me come with a proposal…Will you…”
“Wait…will you…will you what?”
“Will you…tell the bechari me, the secret for staying single?”
Oink! iski toh…
“Err…no such secret…its just pure luck…bad wala…”
“Jeee-Jusss…I think time for me to be religious….luck shuck, not mera chai cup”
That will save a lot of us…
“Amen…”
“Achcha ji chalo…pose you give, for the camera…bolo the cheeeeeejjjjj”

What the…

Note: Bad quality of the pic, is due to the absence of light…and my good luck! 😛

Disclaimer: This is just for timepass and harmless (p)fun…Rakhi Sawant, if you reads this – don’t forget to comment. 🙂

 
11 Comments

Posted by on May 6, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, I~do~such~things

 

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Picture abhi baaki hey mere dost… ;)

Nah…I don’t agree with Megs…I am not what she thinks I am. All that she’s written about “Sree and She” in her blog is merely a screenplay enacted in her mind…a script so fictional that fiction would seem to be real. I maybe a movie freak but once am out of the theatre I play my own character role, myself. I don’t get affected by the characters on the screen. I may have written a few love letters in blood which might have in advance inspired Rahul to write so to K…Kkk…kk…Kiran in Darr, but then that isn’t my fault…is it?

And yes, I sign off with “Where ShE is, SrEe is”??? – So what? My name is SrEe, but I’m not where ShE is. Not yet!

She came to my house yesterday, sat on my bed, checked her mails on my laptop (I guess she had touched it before too when I went to the restroom…it already smelt of her odor when I passed it over to her), talked to me for a while and even took a few potato chips off my plate. Uff…romantic. I know she didn’t like the way I looked at that moment but then she didn’t say a word about it. She left behind a card on bed at the very spot that she had sat. “Raji weds Rancho”, it read inviting me to her wedding with an idiot who somehow managed to impress and propose to her, before I could.

A few years ago I took up blogging to learn how to speak out my mind, to express myself and especially my love for her. How much ever I tried, my mind would get frozen as if I was standing not in front of my Team Lead (TL), but shirtless in freaking cold Antarctica. Raji, was just a year older to me and so it was considered a taboo to fall in love with her. Forget family, even friends and colleagues were not in favor. Gautham Menon too, was very late to cross and come out of the skies with a story on this very situation involving Karthik and Jessie. Ironically my friends, colleagues and family not only loved the movie but they even sympathized with Karthik. I think it was AR Rahman’s (ARR) background music that did the trick for him. I wish I had someone half as good as ARR playing music standing behind me too. But life isn’t a movie na? Nevertheless, I felt happy for Karthik. What if things didn’t work out for both of us? At least he got some sympathy from MY loved ones. Hmm…see I am smiling 🙂 I’m happy.

My first year in my organization was good…with trainings, new colleagues, batch mates and free coffee. And then like a fresh breath of air, came in Raji. She was a lateral associate, who was rumored to be very smart-cum-intelligent and hence was assigned the role of a team lead in our project to manage a bunch of merry-making freshers. It definitely wasn’t love at first sight for me. I hated the intelligent lot. And a woman dressed in a man’s attire on almost every day of the week, wasn’t my idea of the one I was eventually gonna fall for.

Just like Gautham directed Trisha in taking the office bus, Raji also used to catch the office bus to our campus. I used to take free (OC*) rides on my friend’s bike from the very same spot and that is exactly where I fell in love with her, months after she took over as my TL. She was walking down in a blue-n-white combination sari with a laptop bag in hand, which very recently Trisha imitated so beautifully on screen – it was her first time in a sari to office and my first fall off the bike while driving pillion – both on the same day and I celebrated the sheer co-incidence, drinking a cup full of coffee from the vending machine in the office cafeteria.

Every time I went n stood in front of her, I dunno what happened to me. Aren’t people in love able to talk? This was my first time, but I don’t remember Karthik struggling to talk in front of Trisha…then why am I not able to? I rehearsed my lines a few hundred times before each attempt but then my mind used to go blank the moment she looked up at me with those big beautiful eyes. I in-evidently happened to lose my senses, as those sweet lips made a saucy move as if asking, “Yes my love, you wanna say something to me?”!!! Having watched the movie Ghajini, I thought I too had this habit of forgetting stuff, but then in my case it seemed to be selective amnesia…only in front of Kalpana. Tattooing on my body about all that I wanted to tell her was an option, though a painful one. Not wanting to hurt the one who loved dear Kalpana, I decided against it.

Also I didn’t want to tell her my feelings via the office communicator. I don’t like the yellow smileys. They make me so uncomfortable, puke-ish. They seem to say one thing, while they actually mean something else. How will I react/respond if she replies negatively, backed by a smiling yellow face? I can’t even think of it.

As I struggled to tell her my feelings, the year long project went live and she seemed to have moved on. No more was she taking the bus to office. Karthik used to drop her to office on his bike. Jessie liked the fast pillion ride just like I did. Though we had the same tastes, we were not meant to be. Kalpana was killed, but I was not even considered fit to be a character by Gautham. On benefit of doubt, maybe he forgot. Ghajini, faala kameena.

Now that Raji is getting engaged to him, Rancho doesn’t want her to do poetry – shape or not – anymore but he would like her to be a scientist like him in the North East. Poetry he feels binds her to me…he fears I will comment with my blood on her poems and that in romantic emotion, she will flirt with me. He’s unaware of the fact, that it’s the poetry which flirts in between and not her. I anyways don’t. If he can’t understand this much, will he be able to understand it if she comes from across the skies? (did anyone see VTV? 😛 )

Disclaimer: This piece of write up is inspired as a result of watching some terribly good movies which have etched on to my mind. If anyone dead or alive is by chance related to any character in this story, I would suggest giving the doctor a visit. I would recommend Dr. J dot Asthana or his daughter Dr. Chinki.

*OC – Other’s Cost

 
4 Comments

Posted by on April 4, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, I~do~such~things, Stories

 

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[Crazy-Poetry]~ Sakhu Bai…in LoVe! ;)

I know you would say, long time no see…
Kya bolu – I am fulltu busy, not at all free…
So what’s up, I know you would ask the poor me…
IT job, not as easy like monkeys climbing a tree… :mrgreen:

Anyways, I’ve something in secret to tell you all…
Thought of writing down here, as I feel very shy on the call…
Never thought this would happen, but chalo gimme a haaii-faaii…
How to say, hmm…ya…deeply fallen in love is your Sakhu Bai!! 😉

Sitting in the next cubicle, he used to gimme weird looks…
Initially I felt like hitting him hard with piles of books…
Then what to say, uff…he happened to seem nice and cute…
Love was in the air with music in the background, violins and flute… 😛

Feels nice to say, ki your Sakhu Bai is now no more single…
Too much time spent coochie-cooing free on phone, no time to mingle…
Planning is fulltu on, for our marriage which is now love cum arranged…
And oh yes, to ‘committed’ – my Orkut-n-Facebook status, I’ve changed… 😉

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Note: The English language is deliberately twisted at a few places in this poem…so my dearest English pundits, pls echoos me…this is purely a desi-flavored masala!! 😀

With permission from dearest Sakhu Bai, I tend to dedicate this poem(??) to all those who have recently been married, engaged, fixed or found love! – The theme of this poem was based on all your stories!! 🙂

As for the title of the poem – well…when Shaky (Shakespeare) can fall in love, why can’t our Sakhu-bai! 😉

Translations (for the few hindi words that I’ve used):
1) Kya bolu – what can I say?
2) Fulltu – is a slang word for ‘wholesale’ or ‘full time’
3) Ki – that
4) Coochie-cooing – its an art of whispering loud between couples (don’t ask me, anything more 😉 )

 
8 Comments

Posted by on March 26, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, poetry

 

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[Bakwaas]~Of Chats, Challenges, Gals and Lips! ;)

Yesterday when I was busy as usual (if I say working, no one believes…hmmph!), Raji pinged to tell me something important that was cooking on elsewhere. It went on for about 14 mins before I had to go for a meeting(???). And NO, all the while princess didn’t gossip and as usual I DIDn’t flirt. 😀 A part of our conversation went like this:

Raji: Common…why don’t you flirt with me?
Me: No…I don’t flirt!
Raji: I won’t tell anyone…your image won’t be damaged. Common try.
Me: No…
Raji: Hmmph…common, flirt with me you $%&# (lazy…is a bad word, so encrypted. This is just FYI!) boy!!
Me: No…my teammate is calling me…must be a meeting! catchya! 🙂

Ctrl+Alt+Del and I went for a much needed Tea-break! 😛

How to avoid gals? – I am supposed to write on this. But who will read? Even I won’t read on such a topic! 😛
The royal challenge was given by Princess Raji! – It’s practically challenging, cos I cannot even think to do that in real life! (Now am thinking…is it a challenge or is it a confession, I just made! 😛 ).  😀

So let me put down five ways to avoid gals and/or to make them avoid you:

1. Don’t look at them AT ALL – This is the most difficult of them all. (I love failing this test, over and over again!! 😛 )
Say you are sitting in the cafeteria – eating nothing and talking to no one – and then a girl enters. – Try not to look at her again (again cos you would have looked once, when she enters na…isnt that enough?)…
If she looks at and walks towards you…get up and go towards the exit and if she follows you, run – its easy to do, as you have no plates to deposit in the cleaning area or have no one to say bye to. (But you will know how easy it is, only when you try doing it! 😛 – No I don’t recommend the try! Hmm…)

2. Don’t take bath or don’t brush your teeth – Even a gal with bad breath, will avoid you giving that priceless disgusting look.
Not so long ago….I was telling our princess that even if the gal is and looks fresh-as-of-yesterday, she would look nice to me and that I would talk to her (did I hear someone call me a desperado? hmmph…same to you!). She told me “But if you are as you were yesterday, you won’t be her tomorrow.” I wondered why then, but now in this context it seems like a good (additonal) point 😛 on how to avoid gals! 😛

3. Tell a gal that you like men – If you tell her that, she will avoid you. Not only will she avoid you, but even tell her friends about it. You would be the talk of the town, in no time. As they say, “Tell-a-woman is the next generation Tele-phone”! 😉

4. Talk about other gals to her – If you like a gal so much that she looks lovely when not in close proximity, talk to her about other gals…about how beautiful and $#% (hot…is encrypted…FYI) they are…how sweet and $exy their voices are…how you like to look at them (look only cos such a gal, never talks, of all ppl to me…shhhh)…et al.

5. Fight with her – Pick any topic and fight with her. Some gals don’t even need a topic, for that matter…and a few have a natural flair to fight….so mostly its dishum-dishum-get lost…but then you have to be careful about some who forget the fights and come back like nothing ever happened and some of them who love to fight over and over again too!! hmm….

PS: I don’t avoid gals…this maa-ka-ladka bigad nahi gaya! 😉

Anyways…a kitty friend of mine, had a challenge with her mom about whose lips these are in the below picture. My answer matched with her mom. She was furious, for being a bad friend (now lips come after friendship, only in the dictionary isn’t it? 😛 ) and asked me to take the verdict of mango (aam) junta (people) over here at Ch1. So whose lips are those? Don’t forget to temme in the comments!! 😛

 
7 Comments

Posted by on March 5, 2010 in Friends, Imaginative Bakwaas, I~do~such~things

 

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[Photo-Blog]~Love: Dawg-ie style!! ;)

The days were numbered. The contest was coming to an end. The mind had some ideas but since the search for models (male and female – human, of course) proved unsuccessful, I decided it was high time for some click-flick-bang-bang action with whatever I could lay my hands on. 😉

This was my entry to February 2010 Contest – Love – conducted by the Photography community at my office (on the internal blogs)!! – The title of the post was different and decent though!! 😛

Love is always not lovey-dovey…There are various stages a couple goes through….I’ve titled the pics, based on the stages which I could picturize with the pics I took!!
It is the pictures that I clicked first, and then thought about the different stages. So no confusion as to which came first (chicken or egg, likes! 😉 ). 😛

Consider that the guy in this story is a friend of mine. Lets say his name is Dalapathi Wanchuk Gunnu (in short and with love,  DAWG) and this is his story!!! 😛

1. Attraction: Dawg sees a gal (as usual 😛 ) standing close by…his eyes zoom in as she slowly zooms out of sight…he taps my shoulders, says he’s attracted to her…even makes the mistake of calling it love-at-first-sight. What the, sight!!

2. Interaction: Being kind enough, say I introduce her to Dawg. Dawg wanting some quality time to interact with her, signals me to get lost. I silently leave the place wondering (read: cursing 😛 ), if Dawg would have been a better policeman rather than an IT professional.

3. Seduction: Dawg seems to be a changed man nowadays. He wears the best of clothes, tucks his shirt, polishes his shoes and even gels his hair. Surprising of them all – not only does he apply (loads of) deodarant, but he takes a daily bath too. He only talks about her with me. She is like this, like that…she likes this, that…et al…I remember reading somewhere that “Barking Dawgs, Seldom Bite”…whatever it is, Dawg is a changed person.

4. Affection/Action: Dawg doesn’t tell me about what all happened in this stage. He’s such a Dawg. Hmmph!!

 

(Lap-top? 😉 )

Disclaimer: No Dawg’s were ridiculed or killed during the making of this post. Only a juicy tomato was sacrificed! 😉

 
10 Comments

Posted by on February 25, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, Pics, Stories

 

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[V-Day Carnival]~Oooo…Aaaa….Ouch!! ;)

Tomorrow is the day for all those who are in love…to talk love, share love, make love….and also for the Mutaliks in the world, to go against it by doing all kind of tactics they did last year till they were forced to wear pink chaddis instead of orange bandanas…

This year there seems to be no news (so far – touch Shakira – wherever, whenever, whoever, so on) from the fanatics who would do anything to get some good publicity. Shiv sena is sitting quiet too…maybe tiger Bala read my unposted letter which I didnt send it to him, out of love ofcourse. 😀

I really wonder if the sena’s think like how the medieval kings of England used to think…I mean, do these modern political honchos expect people (of a democratic country) to ask permission before they emote love and do stuff ? 🙄 Cut to flashback, and it is said that people in UK (I didn’t find the link…try wiki) had to ask permission from their kings to extend their families (Fornification Under Consent of King) and that is how the famous, most commonly used, considered-vulgar-by-most, 4-letter word came into existence.

By the way I got my new Indi Ranking…its gone down by 5 places…but then dunno if its a co-incidence or a valentine gift…am now ranked at position 69!! Love is in the making! 😉

On the Internal blogs, with a bunch of other folks I’m hosting the V-Day Carnival. Its already into its 6th day today and we have received 100+ entries from about 60 unique bloggers. Its on till the end of this month. Meghana is one prolific participant over there and no wonder, she is hosting the same V-Day Carnival out here externally. So what are you doing here? Go there and participate!! 😉

PS: In the pic is my favorite, Jenny Love Howwzit…people all around the world, though know her as Jennifer Love Hewwit. 🙂

 
3 Comments

Posted by on February 13, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, I~do~such~things

 

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[Sad Poetry]~Oops…in Love!! ;)

Once upon a time, there was this beauty…
Three cubicles away she sat, and her name was Sweety…
That I had this thing for her, I wanted to let her know….
But when in front of her, my battery would go all low….

She was always busy on the phone, talking this and that…
I would ping her on the communicator, “Are you free to chat?”…
However busy on call she was, she never said a no….
But before she’d reply, in desserts it would snow…

By the way, my name is Om Omesh Pitambar Shenoy…
Friends call me Oops in short, don’t ask me why… 😉
I’m tall, wheatish, handsome (as per my mom), hard working guy…
But girls tend to make me nervous, how much ever I try….

One day I decided that it was high time to confess my love…
I went to her cubicle but didn’t know to start, how….
She said, “Oops, I’ve something to show…you wanna see?”…
Glad that she broke the ice, I said “Sure” with a glee….

“Lucky mouse” I murmured, as she double-clicked on a folder…
‘Sweety_Engagement_Pics’, it read – I now needed a shoulder…
“Why are all sweety’s in the world engaged?” my mind silently echoed…
…and I sat there painfully smiling, as one pic after another she showed…

 
12 Comments

Posted by on February 9, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, poetry

 

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Untitled – Why should all poems be titled?? This poem does not conform to usual standards…!!

The below six stanzas of poetry(???), I had scribbled in my cell phone editor mostly while travelling on train between Chennai and Bangalore in maybe 6-8 or more different journeys. Not knowing when, how and why to post it, I had just let it be in my cell phone drafts. And then two days back Megs (I call her Tigrrrrrrrrrr 😛 ) tagged me to a meme where it was required to post abstract poetry…each para not necessarily having any relation with each other. Wow!! Yay!! 🙂
That helped me give life to my otherwise caged-in-the-cell-phone, set of 24 lines…!! 😉 Thanks to Tigrrrrr, here I release those lines in your verandah of a mind.  

Btw, I’d like to thank all my readers and commenters for visiting this blog and encouraging me to carry on. I’m happy to convey that due to each of your constant visits, comments and support, the ranking of this blog has jumped 8 places up to #74!! 🙂 Three cheers to all of you and heartfelt thanks once again!! 🙂

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I was falling apart…
Barely breathing with a broken heart….
It was you who took me in…
Is this a sign, for a life to begin…?

Life’s all about give and take…
There are lots of promises that we make…
We get to see happiness and pain, together somehow…
As once in life atleast, we are sure to fall in love…

In my sleep, well past midnight I saw her in my dream…
There we were choosing, the flavour of icecream….
I chose butterscotch while she ordered chocolate…
I had this feeling that she was just the perfect date!

All that binds us to one another is love…
Through thick and thin, every then and now…
To make it work, we undergo a lots of emotions…
It does pain, a lot when it ends in chaotic commotions…

Why don’t we get all that we ever dream?
Frustrated and unhappy, in whisper we scream…
Though we have eachother to offer our shoulders…
Yet why do even minor hurdles seem to us like mighty boulders..

You shine like a diamond in the sky…
Can I just hold you, close by?
With you by my side, time just does fly…
Stay forever beside me or just let me die…

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Whoever is interested can take up this meme…But I’ll be tagging Amrita, Nayna and Raji.

Simple rules to this meme:

>The TITLE of the post should be the same as above!!!
> The tags should include poem-with-no-title 
> The poem should preferably be just random thoughts and abstract-ish

 
14 Comments

Posted by on January 7, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, poetry

 

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[Bakwaas]~ Animations in a Team!! ;)

One should be fortunate enough to be working in a project team where the team members are like minded. If not like minded, atleast they should be adjusting. If not both, they should atleast NOT be stupidly irritating…else, they stand a good chance of being made fun of!! 😉
When people ask me:
1) How can someone even manage with you being in their team? You don’t work, you don’t let others work, you distract people by taking them on periodic coffee breaks and when no one’s around, you ping people on the communicator irrespective of their (usually false) status’s…How can someone even complete their work man?
2) You involve yourself a lot in non-project related activities…Pitstop, Outreach, Blogs, OCS, etc…what project related work do you do?
and so on…all I do is, smile. :mrgreen:
Smart work cannot be projected, nor can it be put in mere words. 😉
But then there are (terrific) chances that smart work cannot be recognized too…my appraisal ratings talk about that!! 😈

Anyways, don’t run away….this is not an advice kind of a post!! 😛 I was just giving some build-up trailer to some bakwaas conversation I had with one of my friend.
Last weekend over gtalk, I happened to ask her “You never tell me about the characters in your project…are they so good that you don’t have anything to talk about them? No one to make fun of eh?”

Note: At this point, I’m sure a few will keep it in mind to ask me “How come all your friends are gals, Sree?” in the comment section. And in my usual style I would give them all, a smile!! 😀

I think she was waiting for someone to ask her that question. I had a good laugh over the next 30 mins, as she narrated how she worked in the best team possible…sarcasm can jump in the well, if you didn’t get that one!! 😛

Here goes our chat:


Disclaimer: I’ve edited some part of the chat!! Why? Well…since you guys are already aware that I don’t flirt, I need not showcase those pointers in our conversation. 😉

Me: “You never tell me about the characters in your project…are they so good that you don’t have anything to talk about them? No one to make fun of eh?”
She: “Aha…you never asked me…well…you wanna hear? might take sometime…”

Me: “Hmm…I’m a very busy chap…but OK, I’ll make some time for ya…Start! 😛 ”
She: “Don’t bull me ok? Anyways…my team consists of 5 cartoon characters 😀 “

Me: “Does it include you too? 😆 ”
She: “Don’t poke your nose, if you want me to tell you what happened two days ago!”

Me: “Ok ok ok…continue re baba!”
She: “As I said, my team consists of 5 cartoon characters.
1 – my TL (let’s name her Sonia Gandhi…for better understanding 😉 )
2 – my team mate (Manmohan Singh)
3 – my humble self 😉
4 – another team mate, a gal who thinks she has won the Miss Universe pagaent
and 5 – an ELT, who due to lack of work at hand roams around the bay seeing award hangings on walls, as though he is at an art exhibition 😀 “

Me: “Wow…is your PM ok? How does she/he manage Walt Disney Productions?”
She: “He’s a busy person handling many projects, so doesn’t interfere much in our day to day activities…troublesome yes, when we need leave approvals but then overall he’s just fine!”

Me: “Hmm…ok ok ok..continue”
She: “Ya…so…everyday Manmohan Singh comes in at 8 and leaves by 10..as per the PM and TL, he is THE ONE to handle the release but that only means that he is just dumped with more-n-more work…he has high hopes of going onsite..which sadly he (and me too) knows that he wont get it!
As for me, I just give my count of 15 per day..and leave by 8..my past experiences have taught me well 🙂 “

Me: “15 counts of what?”
She: “Test cases re…don’t ask me such stupid questions…”

Me: “Err…ok ok ok…15 per day…no wonder why we developers hate testers! 😛 ”
She: “And we have lots of work, thanks to the stupidity of people like you! What about that? 😀 “

Me: “Ok ok ok…continue…tell me about that Miss Universe female! 😛 :mrgreen:
She: “Despo…I knew you would surely ask about her even if I had deliberately missed…well…Miss Universe is very smart you know..although she knows everything, she will act dumb…to avoid being given work! A 3B combo…Beauty-Brain-Bull…And the ELT is no where in picture, currently 🙂 “

Me: “Hehe…so what happened?”
She: “Manmohan sits adjacent to me so I can see his monitor when I turn, and SoniaG always does what she is good at…handling the strings of her puppet (Manmohan-ji). She tried it on me too…but I don’t have any strings attached! 😉 “

Me: “Hehe…was that an intended pun? too good 😀 ”
She: “Intended or not, it was an instant pun for sure! 😉 so…usually if SoniaG wants us to stay late, she will send a mail to Manmohan – asking him to tell us to stay till 8…and he will inturn send a mail to us deleting her id 😀 [psychic psychology]…this is the inside story, that I knew…but no one else knows 🙂 “

Me: “Wah…Karamchand…Wah” (Note: For the unknown, Karamchand was Door-Darshan’s Sherlock Holmes!! 😉 )
She: “Hehe…so that day, only some modules were working properly…and we all gave a total count of 56…Miss Universe started packing up by 6:20…I had done my count of exact 15 so even I started to pack up…SoniaG (her count being 7) got all agitated…so she sent a mail to Manmohan with the subject liner “Ask them to stay till 8″…and since the two of us were already packing up, Manmohan got very tensed..lol…and in the hurry to send the mail to us he forgot to clear the subject line…lol lol lol…I told him he is going to get for it! 😉 And he was literally pleading to me not to leave my seat..cos if I do SoniaG will have all the liberty to pounce on him 😀 “

Me: “So even your TL ..aka.. Sonia, has to show a count of 15? good ya…mera wala ullu ka patta kuch karta hi nahi, sirf delegation…hmmph!”
She: “Jaise tu kuch karta hey! 😛 “

Me: “Oyee…chal then what happened?”
She: “What has to happen has to happen na? Next thing was SoniaG mailed him to join her in the meeting room…Miss Universe stayed till 8, but was reading a book even after being asked to work…I did just one test case from 6:45 to 8 😀 Manmohan did 5, struggling on each of them and cursing himself…Madam SoniaG left doing nothing, at 7:15…I don’t really know what was the need for all this “stay till 8″ hallabulla…”

Me: “What to do, some have to do that to show who the leader is…leader of cartoons!! 😛 ”
She: “I didn’t tell you all this story so that you can make fun of me…if I start talking about you, you’ll repent having made fun of me in the first place…hmmmph…”

Me: “Oyee…no no no…maaf karde!”
She: ” And you know what…the last time SoniaG had mailed him with subject line reading “Ask the one sitting next to you, to stay till 8!!”and I had just happened to turn to ask him something and saw it..and he was pleading to me saying ‘don’t tell her that you saw it’…hehe…I stayed till 8 and just cleared my inbox of all fwds and my drawer of all unwanted papers 😀 “

Me: “Thats bad ya…no work then why stay back? to show to others how hard you all work eh?”
She: “Dunno the reasons..and I don’t understand any bull….but ek ek namune hai mere team mein…And sadly, this story will continue Monday…sigh..”

Me: “Anyways, too bad ya…so what’s for dinner?”
She: “Ye lo…all you can be, is despo…then Miss Universe, now food…when will you ….blah blah blah…”

Next time you have a teammate who’s a pain in the wrong place, share your experiences with me…I would love to know those cartoons…There’s no bigger animation than in the life we are living through…all we need to do, is to recognize which character they fit into!! 😛

PS: The anagram of ‘Animate’ gives “In a Team”…so the title! 😉

 
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Posted by on November 23, 2009 in Happens~2~me, Imaginative Bakwaas

 

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