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The Last Bachelor Post! ;)

In less than a fortnight from now, it will all be over – the golden era of bachelorhood, that is. It just struck me that I will then be speaking about these days in the past tense. In the last two months or so, I’ve been getting a lot of material in the form of mail forwards and messages on topics like “How to, be a good husband!”, “How to, keep your wife happy!”, “How, saying YES is always advantageous!” 😛 , “Why, NOT arguing is safer than self defense!” and so on. Not that I’m miffed, but every read of such a material reminds me of an approaching end.

We become what we eventually turn out to be, and friends play a very important role in that. Though I’ve had my share of crushes all through school life, it was in the summer of ’96 that I was told by a friend – “Don’t let the gals make a bro out of you…you never know what all they will make u do! Instead, do what we guys do!” – and thus began my tryst with flirting…so much of it, that I had no other go but to resort to un-flirting in order to unwind myself! 😉

Gals who saw their bro in me, were avoided or asked to stay away…and those who showed an inclination to make something out of our ‘fraandships’ were advised and convinced into believing “Being just friends is so much fun!”…But then too much of anything sucks the life out of us. Same did happen with this un-flirting portfolio. There then began that urge to find that one perfect partner whom you could spend the rest of your life with. This ‘feeling of loneliness’ was self-confessed to mom in late ’08 which surprisingly was very well received, of course after a few exchanges of dialogues.
Mom: “You are still very young…why so early?”
Me: “Well I thought it takes time to search a gal, in an arranged marriage. So, I….well…how about love marriage, then?”
Mom: “No no…I’ll search a gal for you. If you find a gal who can speak Konkani, then introduce her to me!”
Me (didn’t say): **So that means I need to ask the gal – do you speak Konkani – before falling in love with her…?”
Me: “Oh! That is tough…it’s simpler for you to find me one…” (I get to see the “I WIN” grin on her face).

Well…the search that began early ’09 took well over a year…15 months to be exact…got my share of unmatched horoscopes all along…till this one with Su matched early July’10, the first one to do so. And
And oh! Arranged marriage is quite a procedure, and this is how I think it went in my case:
1) The gal’s side received my horoscope (horror-scope?) through someone who knew both the parties (Note: There’s always such someone!)
2) Horoscopes did match on the gal’s side…so they contacted my mom, who asked them to send across the gal’s horoscope.
3) Mom received the gal’s horoscope…asked me to confirm if I was indeed ready…a clear YES, she gets to hear…so it was posted to the astrologer.
4) A week later, astrologer called up to confirm that the horoscopes matched from our end too.
5) Gal’s parents were informed, requesting them to send the gal’s photo…and asking them to check the guy’s pic on his Facebook profile (“He’s everywhere there!” 🙄 )!
6) I was later given her email ID asking me to get in touch.
Then you know how it all would have gone! 😀

Marriage shopping…phew…its one hell of a fun ride…never seems to get over, but eventually has to stop when the bank balance drains out! 😉

I came home with a tie in hand, showed it to granny…she asked me “how much did you pay for that?”
I replied “It cost me 1399 bucks, too much I now feel…” and she got all nostalgic…
“You know, my entire marriage shopping was done with 500 rupees…including the jewelery!”
“Wow…500…we don’t get 3 pairs of socks these days! Btw, what was the price of gold then?”
“32 per gram…very costly then!”
she said rolling her eyes.
“Sigh! Wish I had a time machine now…”

As I look forward to this new phase in life, there’s this feeling of separation from that phase of life where I’d embraced irresponsibility, insanity, carelessness, aloofness, solitude, late nights, late mornings and laziness. And even though I know that I can still hold on to a few of these traits, I’ll miss the ones which I’ll need to let go of.
And well, some things don’t change…like reporting to someone at home…only the boss changes, or if it goes worst – 2 bosses!! 😉

Spidey’s uncle had once said “With great power, comes great responsibility” …and I add, “…and so it does with marriage!” 😉

This is my last post…as a bachelor! 😛 Co-incidentally, this happens to be post #420 @ ~Mind^Blogging~…so no more being a 420! 😉

Bachelor’s last words: If you are an electronics freak, buy all that you want to – before marriage – cos once you are hitched, you are done in. (unless she too happens to be one!) 🙂

Note: Thanks Shanthi, for suggesting to write on this front! 🙂

 
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Posted by on November 3, 2010 in About me, I~do~such~things, Thoughts

 

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Of Page3, Mikaeel, Hitler and Mumbai!

When I read some of the news articles, I don’t know whether I should smile, laugh or just bang my head at some place! Those are the moments when the emotional juices get cocktailed within me and I end up not knowing how exactly to react. You may say, What the…ya say it common… 😀
But I do have my own reasons…picture these cases:

I The Single Sirens…
Recently on two different days, I read Page3 about the relationship status of two females who act in movies (can’t call them actresses, in any way)…these are the so called sirens or show stoppers in the movies that they act in.
Day 1 was about Kim Sharma (ya she’s the one who was in Mohabattein, but more famous for being Cricketer Yuvraj Singh’s mom’s naapasand! :mrgreen:)…She gave a statement saying “I am happy to be single”…gimme a break lady…happy should be the one who is lucky enough not to be her boyfriend/date. She also says she’s busy working and travelling…haha…whatta joke…busy with what (never heard of her being in any of the movies)…and travelling where?? to Malgudi?? 😈
Day 2 was about our very slim south Indian bombshell Namitha…out of no where, she announces that she’s single…till then, she was fixed on “I am not seeing any guy”…now that she is single, my mind tickles with the query as to “was she dating gals then??”!! Anything said and done, my roommate was happy that she was now available…I think its high time for him to realize that he’s not of the gender that she prefers. This is me and my perception! 😉

II The “Thriller” Conversion…
As the economy shook and there were turmoils happening all over the world, our Micheal “thriller” Jackson took to Islam and accepted the name of one of Allah’s angels – Mikaeel. Nothing wrong in this, as he first understood the religion – saw how his brother Jermaine Friday (who convereted to Islam in 1989) fared – and then one fine morning/noon/evening in this very month of November’08, he converted with the help of an Imam. Hope he now gets to understand the difference that exists between black, white and kids…
The popular sms doing the rounds on this – Why did Michael get converted to Islam? Well, it maybe to have a real reason for him to wear a Burkha to cover his face.
He’s loved women. He’s loved kids. So I would say, this conversion is much better than his going gay…with Micheal you never know! 😉

III ONE and only ONE…
Ah! Another one I just remembered reading was on Adolf Hitler, the German dictator. It seems he had just one nut down there, and the article that I read was about how some people (scientists and historians if I am not wrong) were actually elated and at joy proving this theory (so far) true. They proved the autopsy report right, based on one of the writings of Hitler’s doctor who had examined him pants down. In the write-up, the doctor seemingly amazed by his discovery wrote a whole page about something that wasn’t there!! Phew! 😛
For more on this, you can CHECK HERE!

This write up was to divert my mind of the various other life taking incidents that have happened in India in the past week:
1) Deep condolences from the bottom of my heart for all those lives lost in the worst terrorist attack that India faced at Mumbai for the last three days…
2) Kudos to the ATS personnel, NSG commandos and the Cops who fought the terrorists to save hundred of lives without worrying about their own safety.
3) Salutes to those individuals who sacrificed their lives in the process.

And ya…how can I forget to wish these…
i) Right Middle finger to the cowards who created this chaos and thought they would go back alive!
ii) Left Middle finger to Raj Thackeray (where the hell was he?? talks about Mumbai Nirman and stuff saala) and all those speech delivering politicians who didn’t waste time to gain some political mileage!

By the way, the cyclone “Nisha” which took over 50 lives and disturbed the living lot in here at Chennai seems to be over for now. Though there are intermitent rains, its all ok my friends!! 😀

img_0615 

A pic of the water logged road from my 3rd floor flat.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on November 29, 2008 in Thoughts

 

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Jerry Buddyweiser – No More!! Hmm…

HE CAME, HE SAW, HE was CONQUERED.
No. I am not talking about Julius Caesar here…But about our Jerry Buddy-weiser! 😉

I am now feeling sad to say that, “He’s no longer amidst us”! May his soul rest in peace! Amen! 🙂

Let me talk a few words about the one who aspired to be my roommate sans my wish and permission.
Knowingly or unknowingly, he had come into my room a month ago and tried hard to be a part of my life….The first time I saw him, he ran under my bed faster than a cheetah would…I didn’t mind his I-don’t-like-the-way-you-look run, but I distinctly remember having sprung up on my feet and up on the bed…yes, I was happy and excited beyond limits to get a new roomie!! 😉

I named him Jerry…and though he was not considered one among us, he had no hard feelings and made the most of our absence in our flat. While my roommates and me share the flat, he made the kitchen and one of the bathrooms his own. Ofcourse, we wouldn’t use the bathroom in a stranger’s presence, for that matter in anybody’s presence…no way, and I bet he very well knew that fact…weirdo! 😀

Three weeks passed by and he grew bigger eating the leftovers of what we cooked…and sometimes he even ate the ingredients! It was ok if he shared the monthly grocery bill, but no…Jerry didn’t share saala…but he did eat, and ate till he bloated as if he had never heard about the zero-sized Bebo…I must confess, that our frequencies never matched – nor did the wavelengths! 😉

The day before I went to Mangalore, I decided to treat him with food specially available for his kind in the market…Mortein Rat Cake…and kept two pieces of it…one in his kitchen and one in his bathroom. Both were untouched the next morning. He didn’t seem to have come…may be he was angry over the fact that I didn’t invite him or probably he had a booze party somewhere else. Hic! 😀

Last Wednesday when I returned, I asked my roomies as to what happened to those cakes…they said, “Probably Jerry ate that one, but we didn’t find him”!! I thought he ate it and had gone wandering…but I saw him the next day (Thursday) in his bathroom. He must have come along with me to Mangalore, I presumed. 😛

Sunday, I decided to treat him again. So took the second packet of cake, cut it into two halves and placed them in his two haunts…Today morning, I found the half kept under the kitchen sink all gone…so I went to check his bathroom…and what I saw, made me all sad…he was gone…not from his bathroom, but from our lives.

He had passed away, probably due to congestion in his wind pipe…one piece of cake per night was advisable, but our Jerry was a glutton. He was so late to realize that and sadly, Jerry is now “late” forever.
I jumped again, ran out all excited to wake up my sleeping roomie. When he blabbered something in his sleep, I just left him there. Left a note for him, asking him to take care of the final rites of our most recent roomie.

I came back home from office late in the evening and was devastated to see that the body of Jerry was still lying exactly where I saw him in the morning. He deserved much better. I took a deep breath and decided to give him what he deserved, a fitting burial in the garbage pile near my flat. But before that I needed to make his life with us memorable. So I took a photograph of the body his soul had left behind. 🙂

So my dear friends, you can offer your condolences – flowers, candles, rat-cake, et al – at his PORTRAIT HERE!! 🙂

Condolences in cheque and cash, can be addressed directly to my address – yes, I stay offline too. They will fund the non-profitable Jerry foundation, which is now set up for the welfare of his ever loving roommates! 😀

 
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Posted by on November 25, 2008 in I~do~such~things

 

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