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[Living Humorously]~***Karthik WEDS Krishna***!! ;)

Disclaimer: The entire plot and conversation is very much a damn branch from a tree of wild wild imagination. Nothing said here is true and hence one cannot hold any grudge or hatred towards the author. No law-suits too. You can throw wild wild comments and ratings, as that amount of pleasurable pain is bearable by the author.

Note: No couples were separated in the making of this post.

It was a lovely Saturday morning when there was a knock on the door. Looking through the ‘peep hole’, I could see an old lady standing on the other side of the door. Asking my wife to open the door, I quickly ran in towards the bedroom to find a decent enough t-shirt to cover up my torso. As I returned to the living room, I happened to see my wife closing the door having received something from the old lady.
Me: “Who was she?”
Wife: “That aunty is a neighbor, who lives in the next building. Her son is getting married and came to invite us.”
Me: “Oh! That’s nice. Do you know her?”
Wife: “No, never spoken to her. But I give her a smile every evening when I return from office.”
Me: “Smile friend eh? Haha…good! Pass me the invitation.”

On getting the invite, I stood there a little confused and I guess it showed on my face.
Wife: “What happened? Why THE look?”
Me: “Well, did you read what’s written on the cover?”
Wife: “No. What’s so unusual about an invitation?”
Me: “Have we met or seen her son, by any chance?”
Wife: “Ya ya, remember the guy who smiles at us as we wait to catch our respective office buses? Same fellow!”
Me: “No wonder, I always had an intuition!”
Wife: “Why? What’s written on the invite?”
Me: “It reads – KARTHIK WEDS KRISHNA – and which among these, is her son?”
Wife: “I don’t know!”

I had not yet opened the card, as I was a little amused along with all the confusions that prevailed.
A moment of silence later:
Me: “Must say, that family has a very modern thought process. I’d never heard of a same-sex marriage being conducted with family blessings and in full tradition. And then the mother of the groom errr…one of the grooms…inviting the neighbors, is totally out of the blue!”
Wife: “Agreed. Inviting the neighbors is a daring step.”
Me: “I wonder which side takes care of the preparations, like the girl’s side does in a usual matrimony.”
Wife: “Why are you wondering? Are you planning to attend?”
Me: “This is something new. So I’m actually excited to know details from what happens at the ceremony, who plays the lead and who follows, who ties the knot to whom and who ends up going to whose home at the end of the ceremony.”
Wife: “Sigh!”

The card, on opening, was like a paper format of a rainbow – with lots of colors used for the various fonts.
The names of KARTHIK and KRISHNA were printed in bold with KRISHNA in Bright Pink! It was a like that moment when Archimedes jumped out of his bath tub, oblivious to the open eyes around. Eureka!
Me: “Hey wifey, you know what? Krishna is the follower in this case. I had guessed it to be Karthik. My bad, as usual.”
Wife: “How do you know that?”
Me: “Krishna is printed in bold fonts and bright pink color on the card! So open about their sexuality, must say. Hats off to India Rising!”
Wife: “Who cares!!!!”

As I started reading the invite, word by word, the excitement of ‘something new’ slowly died a silent death.
Me: “Oh you know what?!”
Wife: “Now what?”
Krishna, actually turned out to be the name of the gal in this pair, for under her bold name in pink was printed in a smaller italicized font “Youngest D/o Mr…………..”!!
Me: “Nothing, leave it. We will anyway not be here that weekend.”
Wife: “I knew that already, but then if we were here – would you have attended this marriage?”

‘Let the mystery be alive’, so I thought and replied with “Who would let go of such an opportunity to attend the same-sex marriage? Such a nice post it would make on my blog!” as I heard her silently nod her head with a loud sigh of a thought!!

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3 Comments

Posted by on November 10, 2011 in Imaginative Bakwaas, Thoughts

 

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In Brief~Situations and Abbreviations! ;)

There was a time when we used to heartily laugh when in a group, be it among friends or family. And then took over the phenomenon of short text messaging (SMS), online chatting and social networking. People began to spend more time on their personal computers, meet other such freaks online, chit-chat, gossip and become “friends” with each other.
In this entire transformation of personal to online interaction, people forgot to have a hearty laugh in actual. We now do a LOL (Laugh Out Loud) or a ROFL (Rolling On Floor Laughing) and many more, at basically anything and everything without even actually doing it!! 😛

I had reached the bus station earlier than expected, and was waiting for a friend to arrive. So to check where she was I texted her “hey where are you?”…and she replied with a “In a crowded bus – no place to breathe – stuck in traffic – should take some time to reach”…
I replied back in an awfully disgusting way…saying, “hope you have no armpits around” and her reply had a “ROFL” 😛
I shot back asking “You were saying that you are in a crowded bus…how did you manage to laugh rolling on the floor?” 😉
“GET LOST YOU DUFFER” – was all that I got back as a reply. 😀

And then there are those intelligent fools who use these abbreviations, not knowing what they actually mean.
I had shared such an experience in a post before (link: HERE). When I received his message that morning, I didn’t know whether to laugh or feel sad – as his message read “My grandpa died last night buddy. LOL 😦 ”
Later I got to know that he had bloody no idea about these abbreviations…nor did he realize they were abbreviations in the first place. Being new to the world of texting, he had received texts containing “LOL’s and ROFL’s” and even he began to use those in a way punctuations (comma’s and fullstop’s) are used! 😛

And now there are lots of extentions to these two basic abbreviated laughters…some abbreviations are so long that they themselves need to be re-abbreviated. :mrgreen:
1) ROFLMAO (Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off) – This is a very tricky one…you not just roll on the floor, but you even make your bottoms laugh!! Uff…how! 😛
2) ROSL (Rolling On Seat Laughing) – Hats off to whoever came with this modified one…he/she must be one damn lazy person who preffered to sit on a rolling chair and laugh…some IT geek possibly!! 😉
3) LOLTTSDFME (Laugh Out Loud Till Tears Start Dropping From My Eyes) – almost made me cry! 😛
4) ROFLMAOTMJSTP (Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off Till My Jaws Start To Pain) – This one needs to be re-abbreviated…the abbreviation in itself is too long and makes one go nuts to remember!!

God alone knows what the future will be like…but off-late I see that we have even begun to use these terms in our conversations!
“Where you off to man?”
“To the hairstylist”
“You mean to that corner shop barber with a broken chair, and who has a broken front tooth?”
“Shh man…don’t say that loud…what if others get to know how cheap I’m…L-O-L…”
“R-O-F-L-M-A-O”!!

🙄 😈 🙄

 
8 Comments

Posted by on August 29, 2010 in Friends, Happens~2~me

 

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The Conflict Inside!!

Who are you? What are you? Are you someone who writes prose? Stories, facts-n-fantasy, rants, et al. Or are you someone who pens down thoughts and calls them poetry? She, we, me, pink, et al. An inner voice, asks me these…

Do you know what you are? What you want to be? What you want to write? Do you have a motive? A direction? Why do you write?
Not sure of what I actually was, I kept quiet…
But I feel that I cannot be both…and this stand, seems somewhat so sensible to me…am I that sensible? 🙄

Then came that virtual moment when the prose in me met up with the poet in me…and this is what I overheard as they began to interact:

dog-blog1

Hey there…you seem familiar…you know me buddy?

Oh yeah, I do know you dude…
You are the one who’s mostly misunderstood…

Err…oh…well…how do you know me? and you talk in rhyme…to show off that you are a poet?

We are the same…you are me…as much as I am you…
You do prose, while I’m a poet with a rhyming flu…

Oh…so this guy has a split personality or something, with we being the two halves?

He’s confused as a confusion can be, so he’s split…
Ever wondered why his blog name has “Mind” in it?

Well…nah…never did he make me write about why there’s “Mind” in his blog name…so why?

Maybe cos that’s one thing that’s lacking up there, in that dumb wit…
I wonder why he gives a picture, and makes you scribble bakwaas on it??

Oh…yeah…I’m tired of him making me do that man…he does that too often…he took permission to pluck mangoes from a tree and made me scribble instead that he stole it…he was trying to be a hero eh? He didn’t even spare his cousin…asked him to pose with a plough and ordered me to make him a Rakhi Sawant scapegoat…wonder where he gets those sick ideas from…I feel so used man…pheesh… 😈

Oh yes…you like it or not, a hero he often tries to be…
With an image he’s built up using me, like he’s in search of his “She”…

God…you mean he makes you paint a romantic picture of him, through your poetry? What all he does to make up an image dude??!!…sigh!!!

Worst is the fact that he still fails, inspite all the hype..
But then he bounces back nevertheless…he’s that carefree type…

Hmm…so you mean, you can love him only as much as you can hate him eh? What a mess…tragedy!! So what’s he upto with you now?

I really dunno what’s in that hollow mind of his…
He makes me type numerous verses, which he later himself deletes…

So what do we do inside of him? Just do as he says or act a little funny?

Now you are talking…what’s on your side of the mind?
But let me be straight…we’re not attacking from behind….

Ah…dont you worry…what if I don’t listen to him and not write about the photos he picks? And you, not write anything about “she”, whoever it maybe?

That’s a nice idea, we shall stick to writing just fact…
But how do you think his readers will react?

Why do you care, it’s he who will face their queries…let’s just not obey his stupid ideas…he’s nothing without the either of us…

I feel sorry for him anyways, oh poor he…
But then without us, lets see what he can be…

PS: I really dunno what made me write this!! 🙄

 
16 Comments

Posted by on November 1, 2009 in Imaginative Bakwaas

 

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[Bakwaas]~ Two Overseas Calls! ;)

Last week, I was working late past midnight and I got 2 unexpected overseas calls. 🙄

First call was from Ms. Momta Banner-ji (MB)…if you don’t know who she is, consider yourself blessed. If you do know her, well thank you cos then I need not tell you who she is…you save me the trouble of explaining what crap actually is. 😀

Me: Hello…
MB: Hallu….
Me: Hello….who is this?
MB: Momto Banner-ji isspeaking from right here…
Me: Who? right here where?
MB: No who…Momto…Momto Banner-ji isspeaking…from South of Africa-ji…
Me: Oh Momta…hello Momta…how are you? What are you doing in South Africa when Elections are going on in India??
MB: Bad sir-ji bad….I came here to cheer Kolkota kirket team sir-ji…
Me: What?!! Why did you go there…at this time?
MB: Now what to tell you sir-ji…it was not a good idea sir-ji!
Me: But why did you go there? 
MB: I was selected by Sah Rukh Kaan and our Dada as a Night-rider Cheerleader…I khelbo and jeetbo their cheerleader contest by record breaking botes sir-ji.
Me: Then what happened? Did you break your leg?
MB: No ji no…I was not yellawed to cheer for the Kolkota kirket team…No Hindustani can cheer in South of Africa sir-ji…
Me: Err…so you were campaigning for the cheerleader contest and not the general elections?
MB: More money in Eye-Pee-Yell sir-ji….and all safed (white)…
Me: Hmmm…but can you dance?
MB: I have made many of them dance…so you know, I got full-to experienced sir-ji…
Me: Ah…ok…so now what do you want from me?
MB: Sir-ji…write about the injustice done to me sir-ji…atleast let me get some sympathy botes from there to win the Elections this time…
Me: Err…ok…

And so I end up writing this conversation between us….pleash do bote for her…!! 😀

sree_on_call

Just as I was about to sleep…I got another call from an unknown number…

Me: Hello…
XX: Hello sir-ji..
Me: Who is this?
XX: Chopra…Aakash Chopra (AC) sir-ji…and I have Sanjay Bangar (SB) with me…we are on loud speaker…
Me: Oye…bond ki aulad…how loud? And why both of you calling me?
AC: Err…cost cutting sir-ji…so same call….we are being sent back to India by team management sir-ji…
Me: Hmm…heard it on the evening news…
AC&SB: Tell us what to do now sir-ji…
Me: Eh…didn’t you offer to join the cheerleaders?
SB: I did sir-ji…they were impressed by my moves and shakes sir-ji but then they said only local cheerleaders allowed up the stage…
Me: Hmm….come to India and take part in some reality dance show or join Momta Banner-ji…she can make you dance very well…I can recommend you to her.
SB: Eh…thank you sir-ji…that’s the best and only option I guesss now…I’ll cheer for her and hold the Banner up too…
Me: Err…whatever…
AC: But I cannot dance na sir-ji…?? 😦
Me: Well…why don’t you join A-run Lol and Sameer blah-blah on X-tra Innings? You morons can all sit together and jolly-chat about Cheerleaders, MANdira and well, sometimes please do talk about Cricket too.
AC: Huh…well…yes yes…sure…what an idea, sir-ji! Thank you sir-ji…

So now you know why you get to see Mr. Chopra doing some serious bheja fry on X-tra Innings…he only keeps quiet when MANdira comes on screen because…err…more on that later! 😛
And Mr. Bangar is lying low key…cos the latest gossip is that no Bandars (monkeys) and Bangars are allowed to cheer in any format of money games here. Yes this happens…only in India. 😀

 
9 Comments

Posted by on May 7, 2009 in Happens~2~me

 

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