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Bottom’s up!! :)

I have all the 24 hours of the day, but so little time. And thats the very reason, I have been out not posting much here nor visiting your respective blogs…echoos me especially for the latter! 🙂

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Life is running fast, am getting older with every sunset…! I am not phobic of old age, maybe cos I love sunsets and they happen to be so beautiful. My birthday is fast approaching too, and rumors around the household hint me that this could be my last birthday…err…am not done…wait for it…well just that, it could be my last as a bachelor. ( 😀 or 😦 …I am confused! ;))!
Now thats exactly what makes me think about life running fast, the approaching sunset and all that! 🙂
One thing which I enjoyed doing when someone was about to get fixed was to tease him or her about their would-be spouses. Someone said correctly that life is a circle, what goes round comes around. Now its my turn to be the victim of such an embarassment! Nevertheless, there seems to be no escape route.
I fear the time in May when my aunt from Mumbai would join her twin and along with my mom and granny in Bangalore rip me apart with their questions…she’s now active over the phone from Mumbai! 😉
1) What kind of a gal would you like to marry?
2) Does she have to be fair?
3) She should be lean or plump one would do?
4) Whats the minimum height you would expect?
5) Working woman or housewife?
6) What if she fights with your mom? whom will you support? (Me thinking: *$%^&&%$&*)
7) Post marriage, will you stay with parents or separate? (Since last 10 yrs I’ve been staying away from parents…so invalid!)
and so on…

If I had prior experience in all this, I would have answered all questions…but what to do, am a fresher in this aspect! 😉

About Politics in India…well I will call it Poli-tricks instead! Elections are fast approaching…so lemme talk about some famous ones who have done nothing so far politically when it comes to the actual development of the country!

1) Mr. Sanjay Dutt – If he really had the motive about joining politics, he should have planned well. He had 4-5 years to clear all the cases against his name. If you ask my opinion (why would you?), he never thought about joining politics in the first place. A man well known for Bacardi/Smirnoff parties, what would make him join a political party and Samajwadi Party of all parties?
He is someone who was never in control of his own life…AK-47 is an assault weapon which he was caught possessing, something which is not used for self defence as per what he had stated. Having gone into depression when he lost his mom Nargis, he has never got that control back. He’s been more of a follower than a leader…with his third wife Manyata now holding the remote control (read: finance)!!
Now with all this and much more, can we trust him a seat in the Parliament? He should stick to his acting, and not lose everything including his own family in the name of politics.
2) Mr. Md. Azharuddin – Our most successful cricket captain of the 90s, too was not in the scene till about 4-5 months ago..!! Its common knowledge that in search of muslim votes, he was pumped up and lifted onto cloud #9 by the Congress! Lets see if he scores or returns to the pavilion!!
3) Ms. Amisha Patel – The moment I heard that she was contesting, I was waiting for her to declare her “assests”. The number of votes she gets would be proportional to the number of perverts who have voted in that constituency! :mrgreen:
4) Mr. Varun Gandhi – He’s the ” Other Gandhi” who is currently the most loved by the Shiv-Sainiks for his anti-Islamic speeches! For someone who has a post graduation degree from the UK, he should be banished to the non-existing islands of Abekhaalegoogoo!! 😀

So………..
Shall I marry or join politics??? In both cases, my bottom’s gonna be up, just like how you see me in the pic!! 😛

 
9 Comments

Posted by on April 12, 2009 in Happens~2~me, Thoughts

 

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A deadlock – that they call LOVE…!

I was in love with her….she was in love with me…but we were not in love with eachother! It was a very difficult time for all the three of us. It was more difficult for me, as those two gals were best of friends. I had no one to share my views or pain with…I loved her, she loved me but I was still all alone.

Sonali and Janet were my friends since a long time…Sonali was my neighbour since the time I moved into this flat 14 years ago…and Janet was her classmate since the time she started going to school…!! So I knew Janet almost for the same time, maybe a few hours less.

Coming to the point…
I loved Sonali like nuts…she was lovely but assorted when it came to her moods. She seemed to love Monu more than me. Innumerable times, have I wished that I could bark too…like her “cute and adorable” yet irritating pomeranian Monu. May be then she would have loved me! Hmmm… Her mom Sakshi loved me more, probably as she didn’t have a male child…or may be I was cute and lovable! 😉 Her dad Rajesh loved me too…when I wasn’t around his wife or daughter in his own flat. Men express love in their own passionate manner, I must add.
I was so much obsessed with Sonali those days that for every single/small thing I needed to know, I used to run to her…like for instance, 12 years ago one fine night around 11pm I sneezed 3 times in succession…So I ran down the stairs to her flat, rang the bell, Rajesh uncle opened (but who cared) the door, I ran straight to her bedroom…and asked her if she had remembered me…just to confirm if she was the reason behind my 3 sneezes! I knew something (kuch kuch) was happening, but didn’t know what….and maybe didn’t know why!
But looking back, those were the best days of my life…summer of ’95!

Janet loved nuts. She loved me too…But she never told me….I got to know of this, just a few days ago but now it is too late. She would never have loved me, had she not come to Sonali’s house, or had I not been a frequent pain to Rajesh uncle!! 😀
Since they both went to an all-girls school, I guess Janet fell for me…I am saying this cos, if I was a girl myself I would never had loved my self!! Now looking back, I can say Janet was as lovely as Sonali…but I had been blinded due to my own obsession for Sonali…!! Maybe those few hours less, made all the difference…I can never get to know…!!
I got to know about Janet’s love for me, from none other than Sonali…in whom she used to confess. Janet never told me, not even until her last breath…but she did make sure to let me know of her selfless love through my selfless love. Ah! What an unbearable pain!!  😦

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Now looking back, I’m wondering as to where did things go wrong!!
Why did I love Sonali? Well…I fell in love with Sonali maybe for the reason that she was the only gal of my age in that building block…maybe for the reason that she took real good care of my little sister who was her junior in school…may be for the reason that her mom loved me…may be for the reason that I wanted to irritate her dad…maybe for the reason that something (kuch kuch) happened within me when I was around her…or just maybe for the only reason that was love.
This might have been the very reason why I wasn’t able to love Janet back…in the way she had loved me…hmm…

Now why didn’t Sonali love me? Well…maybe for the reason that she didn’t miss me enough as I was always around…may be for the reason that I was so very much within reach that I was taken for granted…maybe for the reason that she loved her dog more…maybe for the reason that Janet had confessed her love for me to her…maybe for the reason that she valued her friendship more….maybe for the reason that she didn’t want to hurt Rajesh uncle more…or just maybe for the reason that she didn’t love me at all!

Why did Janet love me? Well…maybe for the reason that I was the only guy her age she knew…maybe for the reason that she saw how passionately in love I was with Sonali…maybe for the reason that I was always around…maybe for the reason that she knew Sonali was just a friend to me…or just maybe for the only reason that it was me!

Finally as of today…
She is in love with me…I am in love with her…But we are still not in love with eachother…It is a very difficult situation for all the three of us. Sonali was too late to confess her love for me…I was indeed very late to love Janet back…and Janet was herself anyways “late”! RIP! Hmmmmmm….

 
15 Comments

Posted by on March 21, 2009 in Thoughts

 

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Just another day…like everyday! ;)

I was jogging…it was a lovely morning…two girls jogging ahead of me and one following…I was now profusely perspiring due to the work-out…
The loud knock on the door woke me up. There was no power to ring the bell.
I opened the door, with one eye open (see how optimistic I am! :P). It was the milkman.
He said, “Saar, no milk today…the cow is sick”!
I replied, “That’s ok…gimme black coffee!”…
The look on the milkman’s face made me realize that he was my milkman and not the vending machine operation in my office pantry.
I was still sleepy. It was a lovely morning. What if it’s hot? I still have the energy left in me to continue jogging.

I pick up the newspaper, close the door and turn around. – This part is programmed in me even in my sleepy state…cos if I get out of my flat door, it’s a ladies PG next door! 😛 And if I don’t pick up the paper, there’ll be nothing to pick later.
Once I turn around, I have 2 options in hand.
1) Take a turn left, and continue jogging.
2) Take a turn right, and get ready to be in office on time – as usual (these are 2 important words…this being a corporate blog)! 😀

Let’s say for now am obsessed to be in office on time. So option 2.

As I enter the bathroom, my optimistic eye would have flipped back to the position of its pessimistic counterpart. I have told my roommates a few million times not to keep their shaving creams next to the toothpaste. You will now know why! 😦
How much ever an effort I make to split wide open (its just about my Naina, I would talk about) my eyes, they blindly refuse! 😛 I don’t prefer a battle early in the morning, so I let them win, as my hands pick up my toothbrush and the toothpaste simultaneously.
Now if my roommates have been careless, its me who will pay. The Colgate toothpaste and their Park Avenue shaving cream feel almost the same. The same size and shape…and even if I slighly open my eyes, they seem the same…white with blue and red hues on them. I am an illiterate early in the morning, if you ask me “Can’t you read the label on the tube?”! 😀 So I have had days with lather in my mouth. If I talk less on some days, you now know why. And oh ya, thankfully the soframycine tubes are smaller and differently shaped else I wouldn’t have been writing this post.
The commode and me have an agreement. The one and only clause is “You are over-weight. 2 mins only”! The geyser doesn’t like me to turn it on. 😉 So it gives me water at a temperature as it is in the main tank above, nothing less nothing more.
I am out of that damn manhoos place (DMP) in max 20 minutes. This doesn’t mean I am all wide-n-awake. 😀

I wake up one of my roommates telling them to take over the DMP as I am done with it. I ask them, “What day it is today?”…Taking their answer on face value, I dress up accordingly for office. Jai ho!
Once am all dressed and ready, I know I will not head again to jog. I am programmed that way! 😀
I switch on the TV – channel 9X music – loud enough to keep me alive and awake. I don’t watch the TV though. Amidst that music, I read the newspaper and eat my daily morning toast. I don’t forget to nod my head in a rhythm as per the music, as I digest both printed news and my toast.
About 10 songs later, am done with the newspaper and with nothing else to do I wear my shoes and decide to be at office in time.

Not everyday is my bad day, but when it comes to driving it is. If I drive the way I love, someone will be stupid enough to come and hit my vehicle from the front. If I drive the way I’m (always) adviced to, someone will be attentive enough to hit on the backside. If you ask me, I don’t prefer being attacked from behind. I now need to learn driving my Activa in the air. Hmm…

Once inside the campus, I have to park my Activa strategically. Under a tree for the shade or under the clear blue sky for a clean Activa sans crow-poop. Though I love my vehicle, I give it no freedom to choose. I prefer to keep it under the blue (hot sunny) sky! But I must add: Not everyday is my Activa’s good day. Flying crows do it sometimes on my baby. I wonder, that’s why its called motion. As someone clearly sighed, “Thankfully, cows don’t fly and perch on trees”! (Not sure if he said the ‘Perch on trees’ part, but I add it anyways)! 😀

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Once in office, I am all decent. Not that I am not otherwise. But in office, am decent to my own surprise. I don’t pull my senior manager’s leg for instance. I even wear my spectacles, for a better view err…at the monitors. And most importantly, (you are not supposed to laugh/smile/giggle/taunt/tease/go-awww at this moment of truth!) I work. 😀 I am proud to say that for the things that I do and the way in which I do them, there have been no escalations whatsoever. So I work, smart if not hard. Yay! 😀
These days, I am taking a break from breaks. I have reduced it considerably. There were days when I would be acknowlegded by every pantry guy in the entire TCO campus. These days I restrict myself to just my building – SDB3 – yes, all the four pantries in this block.

Office Communicator (OC) is a very funny tool. I love to play with the status options and messages. I use only 3 out of the 5 status options it provides.
1) Green – whenever I go green (which is rare), ppl ask me “Green? Jobless? No work?” – I wish I could tell them that it’s depicting my ‘available’ status! 😉
2) Red – I am always in red…mainly cos I am inspired to work when in this status. Also, I love the blood(y) color.
3) DND – This one I hate…cos I am on this status only when my onsite guy rides on me. Not literally, but to deliver before time. Sometimes I feel he’ll be happy only if I deliver reports to him in ‘history’.
The two yellows – “BRB” and “Away” – are for dirty fellows (sorry dirty fellows, for calling you that 😛 ). This I don’t use manually, never. I cannot make justice to “BRB” cos I cannot be back on my seat right or left, never.

At the evening break, am clear as to when I would be heading for home. Unless there are last minute onsite calls, my clarity is bang on! 😀
We cook dinner at home. What I cook for the night depends on my mood, which in turn depends on how clean my Activa was when I started back home from office. So it’s the messy crows which decide what my roommates and me eat at dinner. Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye! 😀
One to two hours I sit on my laptop, with the sole intention of troubling you poor folks the next day with some stuff or the other that leaks outta my mind.
I read a book (which I take ages to complete) – currently ‘Wise and Otherwise’ by Sudha Murthy – till I feel sleepy.
And before I go to bed, I pray for a better tomorrow – A good jogging session, toothpaste in my mouth, a safe ride, a clean Activa, dinner of choice! – Amen! 🙂

 
7 Comments

Posted by on February 16, 2009 in I~do~such~things

 

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[Build up to Valentine]: Rhymes for the heart! ;)

Hello Children,
Welcome to my class on Matured Rhymes! 🙂
Let me introduce you all to a student on detention, Mr.Mutalik. He has to clear this subject with not less than 100%, else there’s gonna be no bailout! 🙂

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Beau Beau Beautiful She (Baa Baa Black Sheep):

Beau, beau, beautiful she,
Do you know any fool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
Three times fooled;
Once by my father,
And once by my mom,
And once by the lovely gal
Whom they call their daughter!
Beau, beau, beautiful she,
Do you love that fool?
Yes sir, yes sir,
All my life I will;
I’ve told my father,
And I’ve told my mom,
And I’ve told that handsome boy
To come and take their daughter! 😛

Beautiful Sally (Humpty Dumpty):

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Beautiful Sally
Sat on a wall,
Beautiful Sally
Gave me a missed call;
My heart danced to the verses
And all that happened in the mind,
Couldn’t take me away from Sally
I was never the same again!

Twinkle Twinkle:

Twinkle, twinkle, my baby star,
Always I wonder how you are.
Thoughts of you, gives me a high,
Its like am flying aimlessly in the sky;
Twinkle, twinkle, my cutey star,
How can I live with you being this far?
Twinkle, twinkle, my sweet star,
Lets go on a long drive, in my car
Up along the highway so wide,
Like a rocket in the sky;
Twinkle, twinkle, my little star,
All I wonder, is where you are!

She and me (Jack and Jill):

couple_on_beach

She and me had a dollar bill,
Enough to buy a pail of water;
I fell down and broke my teeth,
And She came giggling after.
Up I got and to home I did race,
As quick as I could and faster;
Went to the dentist to fix me a brace,
And she gave that bill to the doctor. 😀

So children, end of this class. :mrgreen:

 
13 Comments

Posted by on February 11, 2009 in I~do~such~things

 

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[Build up to Valentine]: Friends in deed, Friends in need! ;)

TURKEY KURDS

Out of nowhere, he knocked my windows with a ping…
When asked why, he joked “Its cheaper than a ring!” 😈
With nothing specific to say, I asked “Whats up man?”
None of his business, but he asked “Whats your weekend plan?”

“Nothing much…after a long week I would prefer to rest!”
He replied, “Get some life man, don’t be such a pest!”
“Oh! what was that about, what do you want me to do?”
He blurted, “Why not get a gal friend dude, one if not two?”

“Hmm…But why are you after me out of the blue?”
“Err…well…Tell me how dude, cos I got no clue!”
I yelled, “Ah! like that! What do you think of me?”
“Chuck that bro, whatever you like! So it be!”

“Tell me exactly as to what you want from me?”
“Nothing much bro, just help me find a she!”
“Why do I have friends like you, you obnoxious weed?”
“Cos someone known for such deeds is my friend in need!” 😡

 
10 Comments

Posted by on February 8, 2009 in Friends, Happens~2~me

 

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Emotional Cocktails – 2!! ;)

This post is all about some of the recent emotional cocktails in my mortal presence on Earth. 😉
You can read the previous one HERE!! 😀

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Episode #11: Floater Funda

This is kind of a sequel to the episode #7 in the early part. This time it wasn’t me at the receiving end! 😛
Last weekend when I was on my way to Bangalore – On the train, I took my floaters, lifted them of the ground, put them inside a polythene cover, placed it at the corner of my allocated upper berth and then climbed up like a monkey. All this while, a lady (in her late 30s) was giving me disgusting looks. I cannot blame her as she didn’t get to read episode #7! 
I turned around and slept.
In the morning, as I got down from my berth and wore my floaters, I saw all the 5 other ppl including the lady in the coupe searching for their respective footwear. It so happened that someone flicked them all, wholesale! I gave a “concerned” look at that very lady (still in her late 30s :P) while thinking about how much the floater flicker would have abused/sweared at me for not keeping the floaters where it was meant to be.

Episode #12: F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Three months ago, a friend called up to inform me that she’s getting married this February.
Two months ago, another friend called up to let me know that he’s agreed to his mom’s “Can I search your life-partner?” request!
Three weeks ago, one more bugger calls up and says that his parents are already searching for him.

And before they end the call, they all tell me – “I haven’t told anyone else about this yet. And you big mouth, don’t tell others!” 😈
I go 🙄 as I ask them “Then why tell me first?”! 😉

Episode #13: Appraisal reprisal

We have this yearly appraisals in IT sector where performance is “rated”!
This is not about my appraisal. I am satisfied this time with what I got. So am happy.
This is about those few appraisals which now and then prove to be unfair/unjust. Appraisal is all about evaluating a person’s overall ability to meet/exceed the expectations at the given task over a considerable period of review time (a year in our case)!
Now, Appraisal is not the tool to settle scores with your subordinates. Its happened with a handful of my friends, about which am not happy.

Episode #14: Name Shame

I had nothing to do with what happened in the pubs of Mangalore nor do I have anything to do with the Sri Ram Sena!
I got 3 messages from my “lovely caring friends” which read:
1) “While reading the Mangalore news, it reminded me of you…so how are you?”
2) “What’s your take on the Mangalore thingy? You are FOR or AGAINST pub-culture?”
3) “Where are you? take care ok?!” 😈

Now what can I do? Laugh, cry or just sigh! :mrgreen:

 
10 Comments

Posted by on February 4, 2009 in About me, Happens~2~me

 

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[Bakwaas]~Atyachaaric Achaar (Troublesome Pickle)! ;)

I am never gonna forgive myself for what I did this weekend.
I am never gonna do something just cos its at my disposal and for free.
Hence, I am never gonna write such a post again. Mind it!

Now that I have given enough build up already, let me tell you that this weekend – I watched a Hindi movie “Desh Drohi” – and I am now wondering what came over me, as I watched it completely.
This is not a review of that movie, its not even worth of a few kilobytes of server space. 😀

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The movie has a story which I can put it in one simple line. Here I go – It talks about a son who comes to Mumbai to become a Police Inspector, to realize his grandpa’s dream as well as to prove his dad wrong but ends up being part of the underworld mafia with “North-Indians in Maharashtra feud” being the central theme.
I wonder why Raj Thackeray didn’t sue them for using his creative idea.
The “hero” of the movie, Mr. Kamal Rashid Khan (KRK – someone called him the next SRK – I can’t better such a PJ :P) is a class altogether.
Every time he delivers a dialogue, he stands in attention – May be to get the attention of the theatre audien…errr…owners.
And his facial expression while uttering earth shattering dialogues is very calm and poised – Our newsreaders overact in this case! 😉
Let me not talk about his dance and romance – SRK, you better watch out…cos…K…K…K….KRK is here! 😛

About KRK – the more I wanna say, the more good things seem to come to mind.
But I loved the confidence with which he announced – “I will act only in movies produced by me”! – I hope the other producers in Bollywood didn’t lose much sleep over this.

Lack of work, can make people do crazy things. Just like the lack of it made watch this movie, the lack of opportunities helped KRK get heroines for his patriotic flick! Apart from this I see no reason why Gracy Singh (of Munnabhai MBBS fame) and Hrishita Bhatt (of Asoka fame) should be grabbing such an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with both hands.
The two heroines are very different. I guess KRK wanted variety. 😉
While Gracy can be seen driving motorbikes and ass-kicking villains all the time, Hrishita can barely ride a bicycle and is very senti-emotional if you know what I mean.
What is common between the two? Well, their good taste in choosing their life mate in our one and only KRK! 😀

And to beat it all, 6-7 songs all through the movie and each song is well timed, fits perfectly into the “storyline”!

And the best part about KRK? Well…he’s inspiration and motivation personified. I had this feeling that I can never act, but this guy…ah…he made me realize that acting is not always about acting and expressions, its not always about delivering dialogues the way humans do. It made me realize that I have lost on many years of fame and name (and shame???)!!!

Anyways…
If you cannot bear to see someone smiling…
If you cannot stop smiling, laughing, giggling…
If you feel like crying, but cannot…
If someone who’s had a heartbreak but can’t vent out the feelings…

There’s only one solution…
Gift them/yourself a DVD of this Atyachaaric Achaar (Troublesome Pickle)! KRK will make them K…K…K….Kry!!! Sigh! 😀

 
15 Comments

Posted by on February 2, 2009 in I~do~such~things, Movies

 

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