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No, Rare-view mirrors don’t lie…

Ever wondered about the lack of topic to post on your blog? I have…but not in the recent past…the happenings around provide me a variety of topics to not just talk and think about but also to write on…

Coming back to what I wanna say (I know I haven’t started it yet but then I thought it would need a build up with this liner! ;)), its just that I am seeing the world (by that I mean the men and women around us) change right in front of my eyes!!
Today since it was a holiday (Happy ‘Pongal’ to all those who are in celebration mood!), when I went out I found the roads empty…all cars neatly parked and not much of public transport either…I could see a long clean way down the road…and in that quest, far across the distance I could see her walking away from me…left-right-left-right (yes, her feet)…
Now she looked great from behind (ok…they all do)…with a neatly tied pony tail…and in a long skirt that looked to me like the one she would wear at home…as it was a tad too old to be worn outside…but I think she wore it out to get some vegetables or milk or something (I doubt she got any, cos the shops were all closed…)…I was on my two wheeler…so thought of driving past her and check out if my rear view mirror indeed brought “her nearer than she actually was”…I normally don’t do such things/acts, since its tough to see through the rear view mirror and all that!! 😉 But then I did it cos the roads were all empty with no traffic and hence I sensed this act to be of lesser risk!
As I passed her…I checked the rear view mirror to get stock of the situation…but instead I got the shock of this generation! The one I saw in the rear view mirror happened to be a God-damned ‘HE’ (No, NOT the Almighty)…a male with a “cute” pony tail and a loooong skirt….jees….I went ahead, took a U-turn…and No, Rare-view mirrors don’t lie…

man-in-skirt

Now what has the world come up to….

Centuries (ok…years…happy? :D) ago:

1) Women maintained long hairs…the pony tails, the plaited knots…
2) Women wore long shirts…
3) Women cooked…
4) Women stayed at home to look after the kids…
5) Ya it were women who beared those kids…

And now:

1) Men sport long hairs…have pony tails…havent seen a plaited knot on a man’s head…yet!
2) Men wear long skirts (saw today…phew….and was surprised to see many such freaks on the net while searching for a pic)!
3) Men cook….I do too, for survival… 😀
4) Men will soon stay back at home to look after kids and pay bills on weekdays (when the above can happen, this will!) 😀
5) Men can bear kids too…one man has done it already so far to prove my point! 😉

And in future:

1) Men in touch-the-butt-long plaited hair…
2) Men in Sarees, Salwaars…Any takers? I am not talking about the inner-wear…cos that would make me talk about the Chinese men who love to wear bras! I don’t wanna get there…
3) Men would move to their wife’s house post marriage and may even change their names (this happens in India)!
4) Men even wear their trousers/jeans low enough for the display of their Jockey/VIP/et.al brand tags!
5) Men may do things which I am not even able to think of now…don’t underestimate men… 😛

On the other hand…these days…

1) Women do sport short hair…
2) Women wear men clothes….the shirts, the trousers, the rest…
3) Women prefer men to cook (most if not all)…
4) Women like to lead or walk together in a corporate environment… (good!)
5) Women think twice about bearing kids (its a fact with working ones…) at the right age!

May be I can check on this post in another decade to reflect on major changes in our generation!

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11 Comments

Posted by on January 14, 2009 in Happens~2~me

 

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All in the NEWS…and more! ;)

Disclaimer: All I have written down could make sense to those who have it in them…These could be facts, imaginations, expectations and every form of nonsense. If you are a Pakistani, NO I cannot give you any proof for anything written here…

1) The only thing to happen since the 26/11 attacks on Mumbai, is NOTHING!
Pakistan needs proof when their own soldier says he’s from that damn country out of which India was born or got its independence in 1947 (You won’t believe? Read the social studies syllabus of 2nd to 8th grade text books that the kids read there!!)!! The proof that India gave is not credible…what the pak!!!
Our Next Try: Write whatever we want them to read and understand, from right to left…

2) Delhi, the capital of India is being tarnished due to 2 things (which I want to point out)…
One…is the political scenario…they simply can’t take decisions…When our respected PM talks in that feminine tone, we laugh…just imagine how greener the enemy camp could get giggling to glory!
Mr. PM, stop throwing flowers at your Pak counterparts to see if it hurts them…Take a decision and stop requesting!! Remember you are a nuclear power now…why bend and get screwed by a nation where terrorism is a state policy?
Our Next Try: If not war and nuclear…atleast export Antrax, HIV, Smallpox, Chikungunya, Mayawati, Naqvi and all such good viruses to them as a token of peace!
Two…is the behavior of testosterone driven males…stop abducting and raping helpless young women you a**hole* (‘s’ doesn’t work in my keyboard, sometimes…)!! Maa-behen nahin hey kya?
Our Next Try: To castrate each offender and send them to our favorite neighboring country…Pak!! 🙂

3) I couldn’t wait for “Slumdog Millionaire” to release in India after reading one awesome review after other about how good the movie is, in the various corporate blogs! I searched for a torrent, got one with a good print (a small 4MB sample was given to check the print) and downloaded it…Watched it the very moment it was downloaded and ready!! And you know what…
I simply loved it….the hype did make sense. The concept, the screenplay, the background music, the acting, the fast pace – each of it was awesome! Do watch it….after it releases in India on 23rd of this month or before that!!! 🙂
Our Next Try: To release a movie having “India” in it as central topic/matter, FIRST IN INDIA!! Sigh!

4) Whatever movie stars do, becomes the talk of the town…
Abhishek Bachchan had a haircut…and now the hottest question in the media is – “Do you like AB Baby’s new haircut?” – if you ask me, he looked GAY!!

ab-baby Waise…I heard of an interesting masala with respect to the Bachchan Family…
I got to hear that: Amitabh is a Casanova…Aishwarya (like Rekha before) is his “keep”…Jaya is a drug-addict (Ah! our respectable RajyaSabha member)…and AB baby is GAY with a Spanish (or wherever) boyfriend (yes, AB baby is the GF in the relationship – Now dont you feel he was so natural in his Dostana role?)!! Now I don’t know if its true/false/no-comments…but a reply-comment from any of these 4 or Amar Singh (Jaya runs to him when high, is another angle ;)) would be considered valid. Even from the Spanish DUDE would be accepted! 😀
Our Next Try: To not make these filmi people, our idols and role models…

5) God knows whats happened to Australia…the way they are playing, even Bangladesh and Zimbabwe could fancy their chances!! Maites, whats up? why so down and under?
The South Africans are beating them black and blue…giving credits to India for being an inspiration (the 2001 Australian tour of India…remember the Kolkata test match?) and thus screwing the Maites mentally too!! 😀
Our Next Try: To educate the Australians that they should play on the cricket field and not try to analyse the similarity between Maa-ki and Monkey!! Its not the same Maite!!

😀

DD news used to end with weather report…So well…Lemme also try predicting…

Weather is hot…What with Deepika celebrating her 23rd birthday and our Hot Bipasha didi celebrating her 30th one!!  😉

Samaachar samaapth…Namaskar!! 😀

 
18 Comments

Posted by on January 6, 2009 in I~do~such~things, Thoughts

 

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Mad Ads – 3!! :)

10X20 Taaja Maal

Mad Ads – 1 ~ Mad Ads – 2

It was not long ago when I had posted two posts on Advertisments of today and yesteryears…and not only did I had fun drafting those, but the most wonderful thing that happened was the sharing of nostalgic moments by you guys in the comment section.
So here I am with another post on Mad Ads and this post is dedicated to you guys! Enjoy! 🙂

There was that time before Goldspot and Mirinda took over, when Rasna was the favorite drink that every household refridgerator used to store. The little cute gal with a short umbrella haircut was adored by one and all….some parents saw a daughter in her, some little gals saw a sister in her, and you know the little guys! 😉 I used to wonder if I could have a friend like her who would be sitting next to me in my class at school. I was of the opinion that she was intelligent and sweet cos she drank Rasna everyday but my mom was not ready to allow me become sweet or intelligent that way! May be she didn’t believe in short cuts! 😉 Later on as I grew, I noticed that she was still that young…may be Rasna effect there too…and when she used to say, “I love you Rasna” – I wanted to be rechristened as Rasna…sigh…this and many more… 😀

Talking about gals (now you may say, “Ah! Sree…what else do you talk about?” :P), the Nirma washing powder and Lyril soap ads were classic….Whether the washing powder did its job well or not, the little gal in white frock did real well when she played with our minds with one about-turn holding on to her frock. Lyril ads – especially the part where the lady is under the waterfall (ya she was under it all time) – were forbidden ones at home. Mom had this feeling that it was meant for adults only…my dad and his brother (who stayed with us then) were instructed to ‘send kids to study’ when such ads came on TV…So worse was the situation that even during summer holidays, my stupid uncle used to shout “Go and study” with his eyes fixated at the Lyril models! Disadvantages of being a kiddo at the wrong time, I guess!

The Lijjat pappad ad with the Bunny was cute…being not much advanced in animations then, uncles turned out in bunny costumes to make us smile and then buy those pappads…no doubt that the pappads made by the thousands of women across the country (its a small scale industry completely managed by women which runs Lijjat) were popular, but for us viewers it were these Bunny people who stole the show as they sold the chow! 😀

In the 90s, more kids with lovely expressions and chubby faces started to be hunted down for commercial advertisements…with mainly the edible oils using them….I remember an Ad (‘Sunlife’ I guess) where a larger than life poori rolls behind the running kid early in the morning till he ends up in the cosy and safe arms of his mummy…Then there was this Dhara cooking Oil Ad where a cute kid leaves home (I think cos his favorite Jalebi wasn’t prepared) and is found waiting at the railway station…cute ones…

The cool drink ads have come down to a mockery these days with Akshay Kumar doing monkey tricks in the name of stunts. Creative ones using Sprite (Cheetah bhi peeta hey) have stopped, but the Limca one with Meghana Reddy seems to be a freshly sooper one…But the classic one still remains the Sachin Tendulkar piece, where the mantra is “Sachin Ala Re” and he hits the ball with a stump!! Awesome! 🙂

Some Ads are known for their brilliant creativity….The Saint Gobain ads for instance, are a class….The Bingo ads have a tinge of craziness (with a name like Bingo, what do you expect? ;)) along with being creative. And the MasterCard ads are simple priceless…the currently running one where the friends fight in flashback on “who will pay?”, still continue to fight but on “I will pay”!! Legendary! 😀

There were Ads with an attitude…the Onida ads with the devil was a classic example…”Neighbours envy, Owners pride” was a classic one-liner – which has been spoofed and re-spoofed several times to the craziest of situations! 😉 The Hrithik and Isha ad comes under this kind too….the dance they do together for chocolate coated biscuits, what can I say?
Then there were ads with the purpose…apart from the Nirodh, condom, HIV/AIDS and i-Pill (‘Prevention is better than Abortion’) ads, there were consumer awareness ads on Milk and Eggs…The ‘Sunday hoya Monday, roz khao Anda” (Be it Sunday or Monday, eat an egg daily) was like a mantra along with the “Doodh Doodh Doodh, Piyo glass full doodh” (Doodh = Milk, Piyo = Drink) tantra!
Nowadays its more of dental care with Orbit Chewing Gum Ads…Crazy I would say…they ask us humans to buy that showing an experiment on a dumb smiling “Single” cow! I have tried it a few times, white or not but I feel that I smile like a cow now! 😉
There are the stupid ads too…like the one running currently on Rajnigandha tobbaco…its such a gandha (pathetic) ad! 😛 The one-liner they use – “Mooh mein Rajnigandha, kadmon mein duniya” (With Rajnigandha in mouth, the whole world is beneath the feet) – simply sucks…the writer should be hanged till contamination! 😛

I was also reminded about the Amruthanjan ads…where the suffering person says “Its gone” in their mother tongue…about 10 different people saying “its gone” “gaya” “hoythu” et al. I was and I am still amazed by the immediate healing of headache on using that product…In a 10 seconds Ad slot, so many were cured…Nice! 😀

I have always loved the Britannia Ads…especially the “Ting Ting Tidding” signature tune that comes with the Ad. The tune can be used for various reasons…I have this utterly butterly crazy friend with whom I chat on the communicator and she uses this tune to the max…reasons could be various though…”Ting Ting Tidding” from her could mean – Time for a break; Change the topic; You are such a bore, get lost; I am happy; et al. – depending on the context and timing! :mrgreen:

This makes me think whether it is we who make the Ads or is it the Ads that make us! Whatever it is, as the time passes these Ads act as fuel to our nostalgic thoughts! 😀

 
16 Comments

Posted by on December 20, 2008 in Thoughts

 

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Naam hey Sakhu-Bai…

kaamwali

Mere bina yahan kuch hota nahi…
Mera bina yahan kapda dhulta nahi…
Wokay, pehele let me introduce myself – bole toh Hi…
I am the one and only kaamwali, naam hey Sakhu-Bai! 😀

Mere bina yahan kuch chalta nahi…
Khachra sab pada rehta hey, wahi ka wahi…
Mummy-ji unko poochti hey, “its not clean, why why?”
Bolte hey bachche, saaf karegi na kaamwali Sakhu-Bai!

Mere bina yahan koi hasta nahi…
Haath mein jhaadu leke koi gaata nahi…
Thoda sa roloon, toh poochte hey “why you cry?”
Dard hota hey yahan pe bhi, in the dil of Sakhu-Bai! 😉

Mere bina yahan kuch sambhalta nahi…
Jo karti hoon kaam, karti hoon main usko sahi…
Chaar aana chillar paagar deke, rulaate hey ye log bhai…
Afterall dreams bhi kuch hote hey, even when it comes to Sakhu-Bai!

Mere bina yahan khaana pakta nahi…
Lekin sabhi bolte hey ki sabzi pakaa nahi…
I go to the market, toh ghurte hey mujhe sab – hai hai…
Aankh maarke poochte hey kameene, Kasa kaay Sakhu-Bai? 😛

************************************************************
English Translation:
************************************************************

Nothing happens here in my absence…
Without me, no clothes are washed…
Wokay, let me first introduce myself – I mean to say Hi…
I am the one and only servant, my name is Sakhu-Bai! 😀

Nothing works here in my absence…
The leftovers remain wherever they are…
Madam asks them “its not clean why why?”
The kids reply, saying it will be cleaned by Sakhu-Bai!

No one laughs here in my absence…
No one sings with a broom in their hands…
If I cry a little, they ask me “why you cry?”
It pains in here too, yes in the heart of Sakhu-Bai! 😉

Nothing is stable here in my absence…
Whatever work I do, I do it all right….
By paying me peanuts as salary, they all make me cry…
Afterall dreams is something that is there, even when it comes to Sakhu-Bai!

No one cooks here in my absence…
But everyone says the dish isn’t properly cooked…
I go the market, and get stared – oh my god…
They wink at me asking, how are you Sakhu-Bai? 😛

 
22 Comments

Posted by on December 17, 2008 in I~do~such~things

 

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Going Insane in Cyclonic Rain! :)

Bleep…a mail popped up on my screen…

It was from the HR guys…asking us to leave one hour early as there was a cyclone alert in Chennai raised for today evening.
There were murmurs and smiles around, till about the very last line was read…December 5th was the day we had to put in an extra hour to compensate for today’s let off. One said, “This mail is a mere eye-wash from the HRs….” and the rest agreed with him.

Ting Tong…a message popped on my Moto as I was busy winding up for the 5pm escape.

It vaguely read – “There’s Cyclone alert…Lets go the beach?” – it was Rahul and I went wow! My teammate was like “Are you nuts? Go home”…Aparna said “I want to kill you…and you want to go to the beach to die”…Nive was like “Paagal hey kya? Ghar ja”…and so at 5pm, I called up Rahul to confirm. 😀

On reaching home, mom called. I cut her call, and called back (“beta jab se kaam karta hey, phone bhi wahi karta hey” is her fav. liner…so I adhere to it! :D)! She was like “Its very chill here in Bangalore today, am on the train back home…heard there’s a cyclone alert there…where are you now?”…I told her that I was at home but had plans to go towards the beach side for dinner! Surprisingly she didn’t object…just said, “be careful and get back home soon”! May be she has understood that her son would do the things just the way he wants to…not mamma’s boy anymore! Hmm..

6:20pm: Its a steady drizzle…I start my Activa and head towards the beach…along with Rahul, who was waiting at the petrol bunk near my place on his bike! And in exact 5 minutes we are on the beach road, semi-wet. We park our vehicles near the Barista franchise, and head to buy some peppermints! 😀 This is when the thing we came to enjoy and experience happened…it starts to rain like crazy and to beat it all were the high velocity winds…Man, must say we both had a hell of an experience…LOVED it! 😀

I must confess that two negative thoughts came into my mind as we were battling the high speed wind + rain…1. What if some object thrown by the wind came and found us as its target? and 2. What if we step on some live current wire?…I asked Rahul about this, but the ruthless bloke just laughed at me both the times! :mrgreen:

We were by now all drenched and soaking…had this feeling of being a sponge….we then went to Mash, a burger/sandwich/pasta/sizzlers joint located on the first floor of a building facing the beach…and the rest of the evening till I returned home around 9 15 was about hogging, chatting, meeting new guys (Rahul’s 3 roomies had dropped in) and some talks that cannot be said here. 😛

Overall, it was a mind blowing experience. 😀

beach_sree_26nov08

That’s me on the beach facing portico of Mash, with the deserted beach in my background. The lack of light and usage of a cell phone as camera, is exactly why this photo isn’t clear. 😀

 
14 Comments

Posted by on November 26, 2008 in Friends, I~do~such~things

 

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Jerry Buddyweiser – No More!! Hmm…

HE CAME, HE SAW, HE was CONQUERED.
No. I am not talking about Julius Caesar here…But about our Jerry Buddy-weiser! 😉

I am now feeling sad to say that, “He’s no longer amidst us”! May his soul rest in peace! Amen! 🙂

Let me talk a few words about the one who aspired to be my roommate sans my wish and permission.
Knowingly or unknowingly, he had come into my room a month ago and tried hard to be a part of my life….The first time I saw him, he ran under my bed faster than a cheetah would…I didn’t mind his I-don’t-like-the-way-you-look run, but I distinctly remember having sprung up on my feet and up on the bed…yes, I was happy and excited beyond limits to get a new roomie!! 😉

I named him Jerry…and though he was not considered one among us, he had no hard feelings and made the most of our absence in our flat. While my roommates and me share the flat, he made the kitchen and one of the bathrooms his own. Ofcourse, we wouldn’t use the bathroom in a stranger’s presence, for that matter in anybody’s presence…no way, and I bet he very well knew that fact…weirdo! 😀

Three weeks passed by and he grew bigger eating the leftovers of what we cooked…and sometimes he even ate the ingredients! It was ok if he shared the monthly grocery bill, but no…Jerry didn’t share saala…but he did eat, and ate till he bloated as if he had never heard about the zero-sized Bebo…I must confess, that our frequencies never matched – nor did the wavelengths! 😉

The day before I went to Mangalore, I decided to treat him with food specially available for his kind in the market…Mortein Rat Cake…and kept two pieces of it…one in his kitchen and one in his bathroom. Both were untouched the next morning. He didn’t seem to have come…may be he was angry over the fact that I didn’t invite him or probably he had a booze party somewhere else. Hic! 😀

Last Wednesday when I returned, I asked my roomies as to what happened to those cakes…they said, “Probably Jerry ate that one, but we didn’t find him”!! I thought he ate it and had gone wandering…but I saw him the next day (Thursday) in his bathroom. He must have come along with me to Mangalore, I presumed. 😛

Sunday, I decided to treat him again. So took the second packet of cake, cut it into two halves and placed them in his two haunts…Today morning, I found the half kept under the kitchen sink all gone…so I went to check his bathroom…and what I saw, made me all sad…he was gone…not from his bathroom, but from our lives.

He had passed away, probably due to congestion in his wind pipe…one piece of cake per night was advisable, but our Jerry was a glutton. He was so late to realize that and sadly, Jerry is now “late” forever.
I jumped again, ran out all excited to wake up my sleeping roomie. When he blabbered something in his sleep, I just left him there. Left a note for him, asking him to take care of the final rites of our most recent roomie.

I came back home from office late in the evening and was devastated to see that the body of Jerry was still lying exactly where I saw him in the morning. He deserved much better. I took a deep breath and decided to give him what he deserved, a fitting burial in the garbage pile near my flat. But before that I needed to make his life with us memorable. So I took a photograph of the body his soul had left behind. 🙂

So my dear friends, you can offer your condolences – flowers, candles, rat-cake, et al – at his PORTRAIT HERE!! 🙂

Condolences in cheque and cash, can be addressed directly to my address – yes, I stay offline too. They will fund the non-profitable Jerry foundation, which is now set up for the welfare of his ever loving roommates! 😀

 
11 Comments

Posted by on November 25, 2008 in I~do~such~things

 

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Hungry?? As in… :P

When a child cries, the first and foremost thought that comes to a mother’s mind is that the child is hungry and that it needs to be fed. In most cases, yes thats the reason why a child cries…HUNGER, a nature’s call (ah! this is the other one) to satify an urge!! 😀
Now when I think of ‘Hunger’, I get various versions of it…call me sick, call me a pervert…call me anything you like, but I get these doubts in my subtle mind…
When someone says, “ohh…I am hungry”…I think, *Hungry for what??* 😉 😛

chimpanzee

Well…let me categorize now to make things simple for myself! Here I go:

1) Hunger for food: This is the most natural and common one…every mortal feels this type of hunger, just like as I have mentioned in my initial stunt up above regarding a child crying being equated to the child being hungry. This hunger is independent of time. And ya, its natural. 😀

2) Hunger at the stroke: “I get hungry when the clock strikes 9pm”….Some people are used to eat dinner exactly at 9pm…and if by chance they happen to be somewhere else where food is the last thing available, they still feel hungry! As a matter of fact, they might have had something to eat at 8 30pm, but 9pm is dinner time and its their right to feel hungry, no matter what…so as you see, this hunger is very much dependant on time. I would say this is not a good one to nurture, as it could backfire. 🙂

3) Hunger for success: Yeah…no matter what they do and achieve in life, they are hungry for more….more money, more fame, more this, more that…this is a hunger which is insatiable. This hunger is everlasting for the ones who have it…totally a lifetime one! I would say, too much of this is too bad! Hmmm…

4) Hunger instead of thirst: This is a special type of customized hunger…They are actually thirsty but still I would say they are hungry…thirst can be satisfied by drinking water…but in this case…no, only soda and lemon mixed with ‘IT’ would satify…many are found lying on the roads, and on footpaths…after being, on the rocks…Too neat!! 😉

5) Hunger for lust: Ah! you would say, finally it cums! 😉 No actually, some (??) do have this one too…believe me or not…there needs to be no proper code of conduct for these guys who are taken over by this type of hunger…they don’t seem to think where they are, what time it is, who is watching, as well as sometimes who they are with…they simply go shoosh whoosh bang..! 😀

So my friends, its not my fault that I take time to think and conclude as to which one it is, when someone says they are hungry! :mrgreen:

Well…I am hungry now…for food of course…dinner is waiting, so till next time….go hungry!! 😉

 
13 Comments

Posted by on November 7, 2008 in I~do~such~things, Thoughts

 

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