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[Featured Bakwaas]~Rakhi Rants….

It’s been a long time since I’ve shook the country with my presence. I was wondering what to do this time, but it seems like my time isn’t good. So I mailed this blogger asking him if I could write some guest posts on his blog. He was kind enough to oblige but he had 2 conditions, one – I had to say only the truth and two – he would edit if I dared to blow a whistle.

Ok, so to say the truth I’m jobless now – what with the main actresses taking away all the item numbers – huh. Twenty-seven seems to be the new Sixty, for I feel like I’m retired. I needed this column to rant off all the stuff on my mind and keep it refreshed. Thanks to this blogger and double thanks to his readers, for you are my new fans…take it or leave it, you can’t ignore it.

Jeeeeeeeeejuuuuussssssssssssss!!! (We have learnt in our younger days that we need to remember the lord every time we start something new. Brings you, the entire luck shuck!)

1. It’s a crime to let your fans down. I’ve always tried my best to keep them happy, even if the best surgeons came overpriced. However recently, my fans were disappointed for no fault of mine. They were heart-broken to not find me in the star-cast of the movie “Rakh(i)star”. I have better facial expressions than Nargis Fakhri, if not a better face.
2. I’m thinking of joining politics if Maya di sends me an invite. Now that she has divided Uttar Pradesh into four states, I could cash in on a ministerial berth. My childhood dream has been to become the Prime Minister of India. Someday.
3. I hate this Poonam Pandey. She’s taking my fans away from me. What I don’t have that she has? Indian men have such a bad taste. Huh!
4. The Sensex is falling, for no reasons. When Poonam Pandey can take credit for uplifting the spirits of the Indian Cricket team, why can’t she shed some clothes so that our Sensex & Nifty gets up and running…? Uski toh main!!!
5. By God, I was the perfect fit for the lead role of ‘Dirty Picture’; why go for Vidya Balan when you have such a natural fit like me? Life is so unfair!!!
6. Men are commitment-phobic when it comes to me. No one wants to marry me. I’ve made some high profile proposals – Salman Baba, Ramdev Baba, Rahul Baba, et all – but nothing’s worked out. I’m now wondering, if not men then who?!
7. I’m very happy about Aishwarya Rai Bachchan delivering a baby girl for I prayed the last 8 months for her safe delivery. If I get to marry someone like Abhishek Bachchan, even I would get a baby girl with blue eyes. Amen 🙂
8. I lost a chance to work with Aamir Khan recently as I was in the rest room for 4 hours. Bad stomach!
9. Someone has hacked my Facebook account. So if any of you guys receive my friend request, it’s just another fraaaaand request…you can be my friend(cum fan) here….xoxo… 🙂
10. I was praying for Sachin’s 100th century in fully covered traditional Indian clothing. Seems like Poonam Pandey will finally have the last laugh! 😦  What a ColaWorry I say?!!!

I got such nice writing style no? Hope you fans liked the sharing of my thoughts in this article. May Jeeejussssss bless you, always! 😀

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Posted by on November 26, 2011 in Imaginative Bakwaas

 

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