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[Bakwaas]~ Two Overseas Calls! ;)

Last week, I was working late past midnight and I got 2 unexpected overseas calls. 🙄

First call was from Ms. Momta Banner-ji (MB)…if you don’t know who she is, consider yourself blessed. If you do know her, well thank you cos then I need not tell you who she is…you save me the trouble of explaining what crap actually is. 😀

Me: Hello…
MB: Hallu….
Me: Hello….who is this?
MB: Momto Banner-ji isspeaking from right here…
Me: Who? right here where?
MB: No who…Momto…Momto Banner-ji isspeaking…from South of Africa-ji…
Me: Oh Momta…hello Momta…how are you? What are you doing in South Africa when Elections are going on in India??
MB: Bad sir-ji bad….I came here to cheer Kolkota kirket team sir-ji…
Me: What?!! Why did you go there…at this time?
MB: Now what to tell you sir-ji…it was not a good idea sir-ji!
Me: But why did you go there? 
MB: I was selected by Sah Rukh Kaan and our Dada as a Night-rider Cheerleader…I khelbo and jeetbo their cheerleader contest by record breaking botes sir-ji.
Me: Then what happened? Did you break your leg?
MB: No ji no…I was not yellawed to cheer for the Kolkota kirket team…No Hindustani can cheer in South of Africa sir-ji…
Me: Err…so you were campaigning for the cheerleader contest and not the general elections?
MB: More money in Eye-Pee-Yell sir-ji….and all safed (white)…
Me: Hmmm…but can you dance?
MB: I have made many of them dance…so you know, I got full-to experienced sir-ji…
Me: Ah…ok…so now what do you want from me?
MB: Sir-ji…write about the injustice done to me sir-ji…atleast let me get some sympathy botes from there to win the Elections this time…
Me: Err…ok…

And so I end up writing this conversation between us….pleash do bote for her…!! 😀

sree_on_call

Just as I was about to sleep…I got another call from an unknown number…

Me: Hello…
XX: Hello sir-ji..
Me: Who is this?
XX: Chopra…Aakash Chopra (AC) sir-ji…and I have Sanjay Bangar (SB) with me…we are on loud speaker…
Me: Oye…bond ki aulad…how loud? And why both of you calling me?
AC: Err…cost cutting sir-ji…so same call….we are being sent back to India by team management sir-ji…
Me: Hmm…heard it on the evening news…
AC&SB: Tell us what to do now sir-ji…
Me: Eh…didn’t you offer to join the cheerleaders?
SB: I did sir-ji…they were impressed by my moves and shakes sir-ji but then they said only local cheerleaders allowed up the stage…
Me: Hmm….come to India and take part in some reality dance show or join Momta Banner-ji…she can make you dance very well…I can recommend you to her.
SB: Eh…thank you sir-ji…that’s the best and only option I guesss now…I’ll cheer for her and hold the Banner up too…
Me: Err…whatever…
AC: But I cannot dance na sir-ji…?? 😦
Me: Well…why don’t you join A-run Lol and Sameer blah-blah on X-tra Innings? You morons can all sit together and jolly-chat about Cheerleaders, MANdira and well, sometimes please do talk about Cricket too.
AC: Huh…well…yes yes…sure…what an idea, sir-ji! Thank you sir-ji…

So now you know why you get to see Mr. Chopra doing some serious bheja fry on X-tra Innings…he only keeps quiet when MANdira comes on screen because…err…more on that later! 😛
And Mr. Bangar is lying low key…cos the latest gossip is that no Bandars (monkeys) and Bangars are allowed to cheer in any format of money games here. Yes this happens…only in India. 😀

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Posted by on May 7, 2009 in Happens~2~me

 

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“Hello”…a missed call…

It was a last minute decision on this one. Yes, the movie had not created that much anticipation as the book had done. Last evening, I went out to watch “Hello” with my roommate. And since I had not liked Chetan Bhagat’s “One Night @ Call Centre” as a book that much, I went without any expectations to the theatre. I didn’t know the show timings at this local theatre called Melody (can’t expect to get tickets at multiplexes like Sathyam Cinemas and Inox here in Chennai at the last moment, Mayajaal yes is sometimes a last minute option though) but I had this vague idea that the evening show would start at 6:45pm if not at 6:30pm. And we reached the theatre 5 minutes before the movie actually started playing at 6:45pm. Tickets were easy to get…we didnt get the balcony ones, but managed to get the ‘circle’ ones for 50 bucks…and there were hardly 50 ppl there while there was space for close to 250 ppl there…80% of the theatre was empty. Phew!

Ah! The movie started rolling with the credits to begin with….and, OMG…the credits took a good 10 mins to get over….At the end of the credits, the movie seemed to have been produced by 5 production houses, sponsored by umpteen number of brands and an entire reel completely wasted on this…sheesh…

Unlike in the book, where the story is narrated in a train and the dude is an author…Dude’s a super-star here and the narration takes place in a star-hotel lounge. Before he lands in the lounge, Salman would have repeated for the Nth time, a performance on stage  where he ends up losing his shirt and standing half-Adam!! Yes, 40+ uncles these days are under pressure to build up ABS thanks to 40+ aunties following 40+ movie stars with ripped shirts and six-packers…sigh!

Katrina looks cute I must admit…she starts and ends with punchlines…check out how intelligent she is:
Starts with: “Bore wahi hote hey, jo bore hote hey”!! (Only those who get bored, get bored) 😛
Ends with: “Yakeen unko hota hey, jo yakeen karte hey”!! (Only those believe, who believe in it) 😉

The 6 characters are sketched pretty well…Shyam, Priyanka, Varun (Vroom), Esha, Radhika and Military Uncle…all seem to live upto their characterisation in the book.
The only thing I had disliked in the book, and so also in the movie was its unrealistic touch of ‘GOD’ calling up on Shyam’s cell phone…and talking on the speaker to all 6 characters making them realize about their conscience within…SO UNREAL!!

And seriously speaking…there should be some limitations…I agree the call center guys are paid well compared to a domestic help, but that doesn’t mean that these movie-guys should project the call center employees to live life king size…I mean, the way the houses of these characters are etched in the movie, the way they are dressed, their make-up, et al is very much out of place. The American accent, which is a very essential part of the call center environment hasn’t been much concentrated on. Gul Panag who plays Priyanka, agreed is ex-Miss India or something but to be blunt, she’s got fat all over and with her low neck dresses (yeah…to office…no dress code and only condom machines there) she looked like err…duh! very un-corporate…!! 😀
Suresh Menon plays the systems guy (who in the book, works to solve the ‘static’ problem) is wasted thoroughly…he acts more like a clown…even compares Rajnikanth to GOD for that matter. 😀
Songs were pathetic…none are hummable…one where Salman rips off his shirt, the lyrics go “Bang Bang, Boom Boom”…heights!! 😛 

I am actually more enthusiatic about the movie to come – “3 Idiots” – based on Chetan’s first novel “Five Point Someone”…waiting for it…And it has Aamir Khan as Hari too….yahooooo…waitin….tick tock tick tock… 😀

And ya, for this Hello movie…I would say, a must watch for a Chetan Bhagat fan else treat it as a MISSED CALL 😉 Well…my rating is 2/5. One point lost on the songs, one for the extravagant sets and costumes and one for cashing in on GOD!! 😉

 
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Posted by on October 12, 2008 in Movies

 

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