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[Spoof-post]~ Mission Coding!!! ;)

I don’t know if anyone else has tried such monkey-tricks before…but I don’t mind pulling such ones off in a manner as humanely as possible!! 😛
This is a spoof of a post which my friend Niveditha wrote on her corporate blog…She called it ‘Mission Kitchen’ and I call mine “Mission Coding”…My piece seems more corporate, don’t you think?? Read it and you will surely disagree!! 😛 Btw to get into the groove, read the original post first, its right below my spoofy version!! 😉

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I normally get accustomed to a technical piece very easily. But there is an exception here. One area with which I have never been able to establish a certain comfort level with, is coding. 😳 I so wish I could love coding as much as I love bugging. But alas I have never been successful in coding and most often I find myself confused about the stuff found in this alien of a source piece.

When left alone with the codes I am left wondering about the weird logic that goes into making it flawlessly run, and how ever much I try I never get any inclination to learn the “art” of coding. 😉 The few things I know I can do decently are…

Raise Syntax errors as instantly as Maggi… :mrgreen:

Make a somewhat decent review, that too just for two hundred lines of code. If it is more or less, I do not know the proportion…and I end up exhausting my vocabulary of technical words.
I can make documentation. Not perfect ones, but ya decent readable/understandable ones…

I can keep bugs in the code editor… 😎

Ya.. That’s about it. There is nothing else I can do in the area of coding, and I always keep listening to one standard dialogue from my manager: “What will you do when you get fired and go? Will you feed your wife with bugs too?”

Well well… I am sure I am going to get a very adjusting wife and am sure I will learn something or the other by that time. So I keep telling my manager not to take any tension from his side. And once I finish this clichéd dialogue I get nothing except a dirty stare from him. 😳

Ah. I remember one particular incident that happened sometime ago. At that time I was much weaker in the coding area than I am now. As was the situation then, my manager used to write the logic and keep it ready for me to build on it before I came to office every Monday. I being the lazy one that I am just had to take the logic and fix it somewhere into the code.  So there I take the logic (something that I thought was logic!) and added some syntax and gave a bulk of code to the poor tester who had asked for it. But that day I felt the original code seemed different and was acting weird. It was unusually throwing exceptions and looked like it had a lot of bugs. Not bothering to actually find out I ran the code package, and so did my tester. She was sweet enough not to say anything. Once my manager was back in the evening asking for the status, I asked what the problem was with the logic. And what he said made me, my teammates and the tester giggle our guts out. That FYI mail from the manager which I thought as logic to apply were actually some similarly seeming test datas for my information which I applied into development and I did not realize that! 😳

Ya… I know you guys think it’s a tad too much. But that’s how bad I was when it came to the coding. Thankfully I am much better now.

PS:  I have made a vow to myself to learn at least some basic coding so as to survive under my manager in the future. Let me see if I keep up this promise or as usual this gets bugged like all the promises I have made to myself. :mrgreen:

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Mission Kitchen – Original post by Niveditha!! 😀

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I normally get accustomed to a place very easily. But there is an exception here. One place where I have never been able to establish a certain comfort level with, is the kitchen. 😳 I so wish I could love cooking as much as I love eating. But alas I have never been successful in cooking and most often I find myself confused about the stuff found in this alien of a place.

When left alone in the kitchen I am left wondering about the weird ingredients that go into a meal, and how ever much I try I never get any inclination to learn the “art” of cooking. 😉 The few things I know I can do decently are…

Prepare Maggi… :mrgreen:

Make a somewhat decent coffee, that too just for two. If it is more or less I do not know the proportion…

I can make dosa. Not perfect ones, but ya decent edible ones…

I can keep rice in the cooker… 😎

Ya.. That’s about it. There is nothing else I can do in the area of cooking, and I always keep listening to one standard dialogue from my mom: “What will you do when you get married and go? Will you leave your husband hungry?”

Well well… I am sure I am going to get a very adjusting husband and am sure I will learn something or the other by that time. So I keep telling my mom not to take any tension from her side. And once I finish this clichéd dialogue I get nothing except a dirty stare from her. 😳

Ah. I remember one particular incident that happened sometime ago. At that time I was much weaker in the kitchen area than I am now.  As was the situation then, my mom used to heat milk and keep it ready for me to have my complan every Saturday before she left for office. I being the lazy one that I am just had to take the milk and pour it into my glass.  So there I take the milk (something that I thought was milk!) and added some complan and gave a glass of milk to the poor maid who had asked for it. But that day I felt the milk looked different and weird. It was unusually frothy and looked like it had a lot of water. Not bothering to actually find out I drank down the contents of my glass, and so did my maid. She was sweet enough not to say anything.  Once my mom was back in the evening I asked what the problem was with the milk. And what she said made me, my mom and the maid laugh our lungs out. That vessel which I thought was milk actually had buttermilk and I did not realize that! 😳

Ya… I know you guys think it’s a tad too much. But that’s how bad I was when it came to the kitchen. Thankfully I am much better now.

PS:  I have made a vow to myself to learn at least some basic cooking so as to survive in my in-laws house in the future. Let me see if I keep up this promise or as usual this goes hiding like all the promises I have made to myself. :mrgreen:

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Don’t call me insane/mad/besharam/anything…I know all that I am!! 😛

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Posted by on September 23, 2008 in I~do~such~things

 

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Kung-fu in Kitchen!! ;)

I was free and at home the whole of today and so was Satish, my roommate. Two of the other roommates were out, Samik reporting to his boss at office and the dutiful husband in Udit reporting to his wife who stays at his native with his parents. Due to the recent inflation and removal of subsidy at lunch in the office, all four of us had decided to cook at home for dinner on weekdays and all times on weekends.

Its been 2 whole weeks now since the new arrangement and each one of us have voluntarily taken up certain responsibilities.

Samik cooks well…so he’s the official cook of the house now…
Udit is good at deciding what to be cooked and the combinations….believe me, its a tough job to decide whats to be done for that moment. And above that he does the weekly shopping too with Samik.
Satish is the laziest and uninterested among the lot…he can basically survive on chips, finger fries, et al. However we engage him in work that requires him to move less like cleaning of rice, cleaning the dining area (once he sits there), opening of packets (his fav.) etc…
And me, I love to see the vessels clean…so I do all the dish washing!! I am the scavenger of the pack!! 😉 Apart from this, I do the small shopping thats needed on a daily basis like getting milk, curds, eggs, and so on.

And today since our cook was at office, and the lazy fella was lying down and watching TV…the onus of preparing food fell on my irresponsible (cooking) shoulders!! Since we get up late, I knew that breakfast was taken care of…err skipped!! 😀
At 11am I went to the shopping mall to get small things and ending up getting ready-to-eat Dosa batter and Aloo Tikki (a potato based snack)!! 😀
On reaching home, we decided that we would have dosa for brunch (breakfast+lunch) as it was already 12 noon….I was skeptical cos I didnt remember the last time I had entered the kitchen with the task of having to prepare something…If it was just for me, I wouldn’t have bothered but there was that lazy food critic sitting outside waiting with an empty plate in his hand. And to beat it all, there were not much instructions on the packet that I bought…It just said, ready to eat….hmm…
I poured the batter into a clean (I washed it :P) bowl and mixed the paste using a clean large spoon. Since it looked thick, I even added water (and a little salt) before mixing it again. Meanwhile set the gas on fire, with a few drops of oil on the non-stick pan. Now was the most dreadful task in the waiting…It reminded me of a few one-liners I got to hear before I took over the kitchen…

“Hope your dosa will come out round, just like dosas are meant to be”
“I can’t recognize a dosa by taste…but only by shape”
“Which country do you design best on a non-stick pan?”
All these echoed in mind as I let the batter into the pan…the round shape of the pan, was a blessing in disguise. 😛

The first dosa came out like how Srilanka is…but I remembered my mom saying “sometimes the first ones act weird”! So I put it on a plate, meant for me…
The second was even worse…went to the dustbin…
And then there was some magic…I am saying so cos I didnt do anything…
The 3rd, 4th and 5th dosas…came out right and round…just like the bug sitting outside wanted and I happily dropped those into his plates….he said he wanted no more as he was full….what could be expected with the packet of chips he had side by side…sigh!
Then the magic disappeared just like it had appeared…
The remaining dosas took shapes which I cannot describe…but I wasnt bothered as far as the batter was cooked…I recognize by taste after-all!! 😀
The magic was more of a fate I think…else why would it stop when it was my turn?!! :mrgreen:

Evening it was time for Aloo Tikki…I was excited…and there were instructions on the backside of the packet too…And I prepared as written on it…and it came out brown crispy delicious as it was printed on the packet…But the bug of a Satish had to comment….he didn’t like it….and he said it with a “I don’t like these kind of snacks”…If you see in the flashback, I had taken neat 10 minutes to explain him that Aloo tikki is a chaat snack…but sigh, his mind didnt pick it up I guess…lazy it must be too!! 😦 But the best part was that I got to eat his share too….damn the check on calorie count for the day…I promise to climb more stairs (and hereby go for more coffee breaks in office) to compensate!! 😀

And when it was dinner time….I was so relieved to find Samik back from office….that I started writing this post…he’s calling now to have my dinner…I have to wash dishes too later….So till next time, signing off!! 😀

 
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Posted by on September 6, 2008 in About me, I~do~such~things

 

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