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From the start…

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I had always from the start…
No matter what, followed my heart…
But since the time I was stabbed from behind…
I’d become the slave of my mind…

Mind…creative with a style…
Mind…destructive with a smile…
It does all that it wants, takes you for a stroll…
And it just doesn’t  take much time to loose control…

Go for the kill, it said to me just now…
My palms had blood on them some how…
Why wash your hands, it said just wipe on his shirt…
I did just that not caring if he’d be hurt…

She’s looking at you, it said go hold her hand…
I did just that, blindly believing its stand…
She slapped me so hard, that I had no clue where I did land…
Its for sure worse to be hit on the face, than being stabbed from behind!

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Posted by on April 14, 2009 in poetry, Thoughts

 

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Rapid fire~ Complex mind! :)

mind

I’ve never been able to live without me…
But then I think, what do I do with me?
I have this feeling of doing nothing…
But that’s only when I’m not up to something!

Am I blabbering? 🙄

There’s a lot to do that I can imagine of…
But then I think, is it worth that one laugh?
Like it or not, I go about doing it my way…
Right or wrong, my perspective shall do the say!

Am I speaking gibberish? 😕

Confusions in my mind show how complex it is…
I cover it all up, in the name of analysis!
Chemicals do react, my nerves do crack…
But no worries, they’ll get back to what they lack! 😉

OMG, What’s happening? 😀

 
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Posted by on March 3, 2009 in poetry

 

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Mind…all piled up! :)

I seriously don’t know what you guys will end up reading here…this mind is a complex kachra and its in total pileup! Lots of things in the name of sense and nonsense in this mind, but no idea how to vent each of those things out of there! No, the mind does puke/burp…thank you!

lostmind1

I dont know if I should blame someone or the New year for that matter. Its been 13 good eventful days already in this year…and people have taken all steps that they can to blame the New year, left right and center!
For instance…my friend lost a chance to go onsite (his first one) and he sweared “F*** man…this new year!”…

If you ask me 2009 which adds to 2 may also turn unlucky for me!! Ask me why…
Well I have a mathematical reason for that….To me, the numbers 1 and 3 are lucky…since 2 lies in between them and is not lucky, it is unlucky! Simple! 🙂
2008 had been a great year…and I presume 2010 will be so! 😀 But nevertheless I will try to make 2009 work out! Let’s see whats in store! 🙂

I have my own reasons to blame this year so far….
1) I lost an unforgettable good friend in an accident…She loved to eat Tiger biscuit so much that I had named her Tigeress! Now I eat the whole packet of Tiger biscuits on her behalf.
2) I got a new roomie…I told you about him already na…he’s still the same…
3) We (thankfully my roomie was with me that fateful night) had another disastrous session of man-to-men talks with our house owner….saala…He came in at 9 15pm and stayed on till 11pm…Our talks are like the Indo-Pak bilateral talks….never conclusive…but decisively a failure. He had 2 things to “suggest”…Rise in Rent & Rise in Caution Deposit! We had a Rise in Blood Pressure. And when it came to our “suggestions”, he had one template as an answer – “Nice Nice, but NO”! Aaaasoul!
At the end of 100 odd marathon mins…he went back without any successful negotiation…and we were left behind with a bad mouth and a hungry stomach!
4) My teammate was released yesterday from the project….and the pending work from his side has fallen on me…thats ok, it happens…but the onsite guy seems to be in an urgent over something which I don’t know yet…so am in a dead-lock as far as work is concerned. Tough times ahead it seems…till all pending ones are cleared!
5) Tomorrow is the first holiday due to a festival this year…and it happens to fall on a Wednesday…Why not a Monday or a Friday?? 😦

For the last few days am totally confused…and as usual forgettful… I am now reading two books…and have asked my friend to lend me a third. In the last week of 2008, I had started Sudha Murty’s “Wise & Otherwise”…While still at it, I started to read a humor book named “Dilli toh Pagal Hai”…and oh am still at it…and today, I asked my friend to lend me her copy of Ayn Rand’s “Atlas Shrugged”….In this situation, I am now not sure if I’m wise or otherwise…what with Dilli being Shrugged…and what to do…kya kare…Atlas toh Pagal Hai! 🙂

 
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Posted by on January 13, 2009 in Happens~2~me

 

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All in the mind…

It had not been an easy last few days for them. Yes, both for her and him. She offlate had been complaining of fatigue and tiredness. She even kinda looked like she’d lost some quality weight to him. Her diet though was a normal one…the usual heavy breakfast – half boiled egg and 4 slices of bread followed by half a glass of milk-sans-water – Coffee on reaching office – Then lunch around 1pm consisting of whatever crap their office cafeteria offered plus a glass of juice, mostly milkshakes – Tea around 4pm – and then on reaching her home, something light for dinner. This had been her usual…and hence there was no reason for her to loose even an ounce of weight…

Yes, she had started taking the staircase to her first floor cubicle as well as to her first floor apartment. Those were hardly 30 steps which she took on twice a day each…which made it no valid a reason to scale down in the rapid manner as she seemed to do. They consulted all kinds of specialists…General, food specialists and dieticians!
But none of this diagonised whatever the hell was happening with her…She was getting tensed as days passed, which in turn resulted in more calls at odd hours to his cell phone. Half the time, he didn’t understand why she was tensed during those calls. Ofcourse, he used to sleep like a log. But as they say, only the ones who suffer know the pain.

One dietician during that time insisted on the technique of reverse mechanism. He suggested that she should eat those very stuff which she thought would help her put on some extra weight. So began her routine with extra cheese and butter spread over her morning bread slices, cream in her milk-coffee-tea, no more juice at lunch but ‘thick milkshakes’ thereon and at dinner, it was mainly eggs and butter chicken with rice. But this new diet didn’t last long…soon the reverse mechanism reversed on its own merit by gifting her with motions and puking sensations. Moreover it didn’t make her put on even an ounce of additional weight. She was then back to her earlier routine.

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I wanted to be a doctor, somewhere deep down in my mind…and way back in time…
Now for reasons unknown, I was destined to become a consultant…and sadly, a technical one at that.
Well…as a technical consultant too, its all about curing the code of bugs by offering solutions – so as to speak.
But that urge to cure people of their problems still seems to be within…without prescribing medications of course.

all-in-the-mind

Let’s consider the above case…

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This guy is my friend. I knew that this bugger loved her. She was beautiful with lovely eyes whom I had met quite a few times, mostly by accident. The bugger thought I was a threat to his as-of-now-one-way love-life. I didn’t argue with him over that, as one can never judge “feelings”! 😉

Two weeks ago, he told me about all this “mishappening” in her life. She being on my floor, I had seen her just the previous day and she had looked all the same to me as before. Yet, I kept quiet and listened out to all that he had to share. I knew it then and there, that the problem was not with her but with him!! 😉

I told him to let go of her for 2 weeks time and that she would regain her previous form altogether. He got agitated over what I just told him. He had this bright idea of me having a go at her, for which I needed 2 weeks. Omigosh! That was so not the case. Btw – I needed just a serious one-on-one meeting, a fact which he was unaware of then and even to-date. I convinced him by saying “See dude…She has been running in your mind, non-stop and God knows for how long. Thats the main and only reason for her lose weight.” A bright smile on his face appeared, confirming to me his state of mind. 

I now wondered if she was stable, cos she had listened to all his crap and had met all the doctors on his behest. Was she just as him or was she in love with him, love being diagonised blind after all???!!!

Two weeks later, it all turned out to be fine from his end. He stood by his promise of not seeing her for 2 weeks…she was now back in shape as far as he was concerned. She was happy that he saw the same in her like before. Moreover she could stick to her daily diet routine.

These people didn’t need a dietician, food specialist or the general doctors to begin with…A psychologist and an eye-specialist would have done. 😉

 
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Posted by on December 12, 2008 in Thoughts

 

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