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[UnReview]~Heroinzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ;)

I did not want to do this, but then such a juicy opportunity at being appreciative of something *what’s the word* comes in very rarely!

I don’t know what my crazy stars were up to or in which direction did the sun rise on that wonderful day that I booked tickets for ‘Heroine’. I can see that you are already tempted to close this page, for you are sure I’ll give out the storyline. No, don’t worry about it cos even after watching this epic, I wondered about what the storyline actually was.

Anyway, this is not a review of that movie for I do not qualify to criticize something that is, well…not something!
Instead let me note down a few pointers, which the makers had to keep in mind to give it a chance to get itself nominated for the Oscars.

1. It doesn’t matter if you have dialogues or not, but have a storyline. See Barfi.
2. Getting inspired from newspapers to create a movie? Really? If at all you have to get inspired, then go for Notebook/notepad/ipad/etc. See Barfi.
3. It doesn’t matter how much of ‘Fashion’ you have in the movie. It matters if you have Priyanka Chopra. See Barfi.
4. It’s actually ok if you wear much more than a handkerchief. You’d have something to wipe off that perspiration on your brow. See Barfi.
5. You can love someone or be loved even if you are just a nobody. See Barfi.
6. Creating hype increases expectations. Instead, make a movie silently or make a silent movie. See Barfi.

It was all ok till the mid of first half. Then it seemed like the director had forgotten his script back at home/hotel or had lost it to fire. The result of that was it took me 2 full days to recover from what I got to see for the last 75% of the movie’s duration.
Anyway, who am I to talk about someone’s creative thought process? To each his own, isn’t it? Well…so, do not miss to watch Heroine, for it won’t long last. If you end up disappointed at missing it, then See Barfi. 😉

 
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Posted by on September 25, 2012 in Humor, I~do~such~things, Movies, Reviews

 

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[Silky Review]~The Dirty Picture!! :)

Disclaimer: The Dirty Picture could have been termed as “Vulgar” or “B-Grade”, had it been released in the 80’s or 90’s. Reality is that the heroines and item girls of today’s cinema cover their bodies much less than the times of Silk Smitha. Yet it is a movie that is rated as ‘Only for Adults (18+)’. Amen!!  

There wouldn’t have been a better song than Naka Muka, to have possibly given the effect it did at the start of the movie. It made the viewers sit up and go awe even right before the first scene was screened!!!

Failures were not new for the protagonist, Reshma. For starters, being born as a girl was her biggest failure.

Having run away (literally) a day before her marriage from her birth home in Andhra Pradesh to ‘Madras’, she managed to find herself a god-mother who would look after her as if she was her own daughter. Reshma wanted to be a dancer in the film world and there came a point during her struggle where she was ready to do ANYTHING to land herself a song in the movie. Reshma grabs herself a chance, when an item girl happens to go missing from a pre-scheduled shoot. She impresses the assistant director with her antics – pouted lips licking itself, pelvic thrusts – but it so happens that the director Abraham (Emraan Hashmi) decides to cut the song off during the final movie edit. Abraham is a strong believer in his directorial skills who believes that his movies can run by itself and don’t need any masala! The producer SelvaGanesh thinks otherwise, for he’s concerned with the profits his movies would make and so re-releases the movie, this time including Reshma’s song. This is the first time that the testosterone driven Indian male gets the taste of Reshma, who is henceforth re-christened as “Silk” by the producer.

The story evolves with Silk becoming the most sought-after item girl. It shows how success brings with it the expectations, the pressures, the competition, the egos and for someone who’s not able to handle it well, the downfall.

Naseeruddin Shah plays the evergreen superstar ‘Suryakanth’ (ring any bell???) who likes Silk, but definitely not for her dancing/acting skills. Balaji Telefilm’s very own superstar Tusshar Kapoor plays ‘Ramakanth’, a script-writer and the younger brother of Suryakanth.

Without any doubt, Vidya Balan (who plays Reshma/Silk) happens to be the “HERO” of the movie and has done a wonderful job portraying Silk Smitha’s character. The way she evolves during the movie, from being a thin & dreamy Reshma to an eventually pot-bellied ‘B-grade Silk’, shows her commitment of getting into the character. As someone rightly stated, Vidya Balan is the female Aamir Khan when it comes to preparing and playing character roles.

Naseeruddin Shah didn’t seem to have more scope to perform and has delivered a decent performance. However he was best when he wasn’t dancing.
Emraan Hashmi has done a decent job as Silk’s on-your-face critic. However towards the end, he manages to remember who he actually is and religiously does justice to his ‘Serial Kisser’ tag.
Tusshar Kapoor, should stop acting. Period.

The songs in the movie may not be on everyone’s lips but it fits in well with the flow of the movie. Except for one song featuring Emraan, none of them seem to be forced. The song “Oo la la” sung by Bappi Lahiri along with Shreya Goshal deserves an applause.

There are dialogues in the first half that are very cheeky, pun-filled and below the belt but it tones down as the film progresses.
Picture this: She shows her photographs to the casting director and says “Main kuch bhi karne ko tayyar hoon. Main aapko woh bhi dikha sakti hoon jo inn photo mein nahi hey!” (I am ready to do anything. I can show you what is not there in these photographs!).

My Rating: 4/5. A must watch if you are 18+ and interested in biographical tragedies.

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2011 in Movies, Reviews

 

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[Review]~Shaitan!

Just back from a movie which sounds like an Indian version of Scary movie, named Shaitan. With boredom perching on my back this whole day, like Betal on Vikram, I had to find some getaway. Checked online for movies, and found one show of Shaitan at Escape Cinemas located on the top floor of the Express Avenue mall here in Chennai, and there was just one ticket left. So before someone as bored as me would snatch it away, I hurriedly booked. A good 40 minutes drive away, I headed into the unknown. Having heard positive things about the movie from friends, I had decided to plunge into it.

As lights went dim, it was the producer Anurag Kashyap who came on screen to read out a not so well rehearsed statutory warning about how he didn’t mean to promote smoking, drinking and injecting!
The movie is fast paced with 5 characters from affluent yet not-so-happy families being friends and enjoying a lavish lifestyle. Why worry when you have a rich dad?!
Trouble begins with an accident, Salman Khan ishstyle, which kills two people riding on a scooter. It gets deeper when the corrupt policeman demands a hefty amount of 25 lakhs to ‘settle’ the case as an accident and not murder. Finding no other means to arrange the amount, they decide up on kidnapping one among them and demanding a ransom from the parent. How they plan the whole kidnap act, how they go about implementing it, how messy could life get…the answers to these ‘how’ questions and more, is the plot in the second half of the movie.
The actors have done a decent job. Kalki (who is also Anurag’s wife) seems to be in the Kangana Ranaut league, ending up with similar roles…her role here reminded me of Chanda’s character she played in Dev-D. Rajeev Khandelwal (of Aamir fame) has done a decent job of his plain clothed policeman character, while why his personal life in the story was messed up remains a mystery till the end.
There were no song sequences, with 2-3 songs played in the background. The yesteryear popular number “khoya khoya chaand” was remixed, fast-paced and used in the backdrop…was indeed peppy, especially in the situation!!
The director (first timer) has done a great job…of holding the pace and doing justice to the story line…
Overall, the movie was worth the drive. It does make one feel about the existence of Shaitan (evil) in our own selves. I would give it a rating of 3.5/5.

 
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Posted by on June 26, 2011 in Movies, Thoughts

 

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Dev D – A review! :)

Everything seemed right about it. I could very well relate to it. Not that I had experienced it myself, but everything seemed so right and so much in place. I was happy and carried a smile as I came out of the theatre watching the Hindi movie Dev D.

As per legends, creative ideas mostly generate when one is parked on a pot-e!! 😉 The disclaimer to this movie stated that it was “loosely” inspired by the story of Saratchandra’s DevDas!! It was indeed and must say very well adapted to the current era. To Anurag Kashyap – the writer/director, I must say – an idea well thought and executed.

Those who haven’t watched it, stop reading right here unless you don’t mind getting to know a gist about the storyboard. Rest can read, and agree. Disagree as well…after-all a democratic country we are in! 😀

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How many of you call you dad by his pet-name…forget first name, but pet name???? Our hero, Dev does. 😀
He gets slapped.
Fine humor is blended in such a serious situation too. Dev asks his dad “why you slapping me…tell me that…for smoking a cigarette or for calling you by your pet-name?”
He is sent to England for higher studies as an acknowledgement to his query! (I wonder if my dad would have sent me too, if I had called him by his pet-name! ;))!

The young Parvinder alias Paro loves Dev, her father’s employer’s son…a love, which is never acknowledged.
But times have changed. Paro doesn’t cry over Dev’s departure to London. She keeps in touch with him through mails, phone and chats.
She doesn’t even think twice over his request of a picture of hers…wearing nothing.

*Note* The director here missed a trick. He forgot that digital pics (The camera she uses, didnt seem analogous to me) could be uploaded and directly sent via e-mail. Instead he makes the heroine, click – develop – scan and send the picture.

Paro keeps asking “Kab aaoge Dev? (when you coming, Dev?)” only to get no solid answer.
On seeing her picture, “Main aaraha hoon Paro (I’m coming Paro)” he calls her up to convey. This may sound utterly butterly vulgar and pervert-ish…but it’s handled well in the movie, and actually makes the audience laugh out loud.

Dev is a hypocrite character, who acts out more than he thinks. He loves Paro, knows Paro loves him but is unable to admit it all out. He goes out with women, but is unable to bear a lie that a stranger of a man says about his liaison with Paro. Sloshed by the innumerable pegs and chain smoking, he puts it across to Paro that she’s not worth to be his wife.
Paro ends up marrying a rich widower with 2 kids and moves to Delhi. The “Emosional Athyachaar” song sets the right mood at this very moment in the story!

Years ago, there was an MMS scandal related to a girl who was a student in DPS (Delhi Public School). The very story forms the backdrop of Lene alias Chandramukhi alias Chanda, the third angle in the movie. Unlike the Delhi gal whose family moved abroad in real life, Lene’s family fails to deal with all that occurred. Her father commits suicide, mom abandons her and she’s left to feed herself. Being beautiful and open-minded, no wonder she’s drawn into the world of commercial sex trade under the acquaintance of a pimp, Chunnilal.
But these are the times when multitasking is the name of the game. So Lene, who is now known by the name of Chanda…goes to college like any other gal of her age during the daytime, and at the end of the day, gets back to business!

Dev, in search of Paro lands in Delhi…and is devastated to find her happy in her new household. He takes more strongly to alcohol than ever before, taking cartons of booze each night to his hotel room. He finally lands in the lap of Chanda, thanks to Chunni.
His straightforward talks, his love for Paro – makes Chanda fall in love with Dev. But Dev, can love none being the way he is.
A high moment in the movie is when Dev asks Chanda, as to how Lene became Chanda. Chanda explains, “No TV channel showed my MMS, no newspaper carried my picture…everyone downloaded the MMS and watched it…they enjoyed it and then called me a slut.” How true.

The story is then about how Dev gets involved in a BMW rundown case (plot taken from a real incident); how he loses his dad, his only ATM; how he fails to understand his failure; how he comes over Paro and booze and lets both of them go; and how he finally gets to be with Chanda.
The Dev of this modern day version doesn’t give up due to circumstances and die. This Dev is open to face life as it comes.

The music is awesome. 18 tracks throughout the movie…the best being “Emosional Athyachaar” and “Mahi Mennu”…also loved “Nayan tarse” and “Saali khushi”!! 😀
The actors – Abhay Deol as Dev, Mahi Gill as Paro, Kalki Koechlin as Chanda and Dibyendu Bhattacharya as Chunnilal – have done awesome justice to the characters they have portrayed! 🙂
I also wonder how the censorship board was so kind to this movie when it comes to dialogues. Times have indeed changed.

Times of India gave it a rating of 5/5, so shall I! 🙂

PS: On the way back home, the traffic police inspector stopped and asked me to blow on his face to check if I had consumed alcohol. Co-incidence? 😛 I must confess, its disgusting to blow on someone’s face. I wish they are provided with an alcohol detecting instrument. Amen! 🙂

 
22 Comments

Posted by on March 1, 2009 in Movies

 

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[Bakwaas]~Atyachaaric Achaar (Troublesome Pickle)! ;)

I am never gonna forgive myself for what I did this weekend.
I am never gonna do something just cos its at my disposal and for free.
Hence, I am never gonna write such a post again. Mind it!

Now that I have given enough build up already, let me tell you that this weekend – I watched a Hindi movie “Desh Drohi” – and I am now wondering what came over me, as I watched it completely.
This is not a review of that movie, its not even worth of a few kilobytes of server space. 😀

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The movie has a story which I can put it in one simple line. Here I go – It talks about a son who comes to Mumbai to become a Police Inspector, to realize his grandpa’s dream as well as to prove his dad wrong but ends up being part of the underworld mafia with “North-Indians in Maharashtra feud” being the central theme.
I wonder why Raj Thackeray didn’t sue them for using his creative idea.
The “hero” of the movie, Mr. Kamal Rashid Khan (KRK – someone called him the next SRK – I can’t better such a PJ :P) is a class altogether.
Every time he delivers a dialogue, he stands in attention – May be to get the attention of the theatre audien…errr…owners.
And his facial expression while uttering earth shattering dialogues is very calm and poised – Our newsreaders overact in this case! 😉
Let me not talk about his dance and romance – SRK, you better watch out…cos…K…K…K….KRK is here! 😛

About KRK – the more I wanna say, the more good things seem to come to mind.
But I loved the confidence with which he announced – “I will act only in movies produced by me”! – I hope the other producers in Bollywood didn’t lose much sleep over this.

Lack of work, can make people do crazy things. Just like the lack of it made watch this movie, the lack of opportunities helped KRK get heroines for his patriotic flick! Apart from this I see no reason why Gracy Singh (of Munnabhai MBBS fame) and Hrishita Bhatt (of Asoka fame) should be grabbing such an once-in-a-lifetime opportunity with both hands.
The two heroines are very different. I guess KRK wanted variety. 😉
While Gracy can be seen driving motorbikes and ass-kicking villains all the time, Hrishita can barely ride a bicycle and is very senti-emotional if you know what I mean.
What is common between the two? Well, their good taste in choosing their life mate in our one and only KRK! 😀

And to beat it all, 6-7 songs all through the movie and each song is well timed, fits perfectly into the “storyline”!

And the best part about KRK? Well…he’s inspiration and motivation personified. I had this feeling that I can never act, but this guy…ah…he made me realize that acting is not always about acting and expressions, its not always about delivering dialogues the way humans do. It made me realize that I have lost on many years of fame and name (and shame???)!!!

Anyways…
If you cannot bear to see someone smiling…
If you cannot stop smiling, laughing, giggling…
If you feel like crying, but cannot…
If someone who’s had a heartbreak but can’t vent out the feelings…

There’s only one solution…
Gift them/yourself a DVD of this Atyachaaric Achaar (Troublesome Pickle)! KRK will make them K…K…K….Kry!!! Sigh! 😀

 
15 Comments

Posted by on February 2, 2009 in I~do~such~things, Movies

 

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“Hello”…a missed call…

It was a last minute decision on this one. Yes, the movie had not created that much anticipation as the book had done. Last evening, I went out to watch “Hello” with my roommate. And since I had not liked Chetan Bhagat’s “One Night @ Call Centre” as a book that much, I went without any expectations to the theatre. I didn’t know the show timings at this local theatre called Melody (can’t expect to get tickets at multiplexes like Sathyam Cinemas and Inox here in Chennai at the last moment, Mayajaal yes is sometimes a last minute option though) but I had this vague idea that the evening show would start at 6:45pm if not at 6:30pm. And we reached the theatre 5 minutes before the movie actually started playing at 6:45pm. Tickets were easy to get…we didnt get the balcony ones, but managed to get the ‘circle’ ones for 50 bucks…and there were hardly 50 ppl there while there was space for close to 250 ppl there…80% of the theatre was empty. Phew!

Ah! The movie started rolling with the credits to begin with….and, OMG…the credits took a good 10 mins to get over….At the end of the credits, the movie seemed to have been produced by 5 production houses, sponsored by umpteen number of brands and an entire reel completely wasted on this…sheesh…

Unlike in the book, where the story is narrated in a train and the dude is an author…Dude’s a super-star here and the narration takes place in a star-hotel lounge. Before he lands in the lounge, Salman would have repeated for the Nth time, a performance on stage  where he ends up losing his shirt and standing half-Adam!! Yes, 40+ uncles these days are under pressure to build up ABS thanks to 40+ aunties following 40+ movie stars with ripped shirts and six-packers…sigh!

Katrina looks cute I must admit…she starts and ends with punchlines…check out how intelligent she is:
Starts with: “Bore wahi hote hey, jo bore hote hey”!! (Only those who get bored, get bored) 😛
Ends with: “Yakeen unko hota hey, jo yakeen karte hey”!! (Only those believe, who believe in it) 😉

The 6 characters are sketched pretty well…Shyam, Priyanka, Varun (Vroom), Esha, Radhika and Military Uncle…all seem to live upto their characterisation in the book.
The only thing I had disliked in the book, and so also in the movie was its unrealistic touch of ‘GOD’ calling up on Shyam’s cell phone…and talking on the speaker to all 6 characters making them realize about their conscience within…SO UNREAL!!

And seriously speaking…there should be some limitations…I agree the call center guys are paid well compared to a domestic help, but that doesn’t mean that these movie-guys should project the call center employees to live life king size…I mean, the way the houses of these characters are etched in the movie, the way they are dressed, their make-up, et al is very much out of place. The American accent, which is a very essential part of the call center environment hasn’t been much concentrated on. Gul Panag who plays Priyanka, agreed is ex-Miss India or something but to be blunt, she’s got fat all over and with her low neck dresses (yeah…to office…no dress code and only condom machines there) she looked like err…duh! very un-corporate…!! 😀
Suresh Menon plays the systems guy (who in the book, works to solve the ‘static’ problem) is wasted thoroughly…he acts more like a clown…even compares Rajnikanth to GOD for that matter. 😀
Songs were pathetic…none are hummable…one where Salman rips off his shirt, the lyrics go “Bang Bang, Boom Boom”…heights!! 😛 

I am actually more enthusiatic about the movie to come – “3 Idiots” – based on Chetan’s first novel “Five Point Someone”…waiting for it…And it has Aamir Khan as Hari too….yahooooo…waitin….tick tock tick tock… 😀

And ya, for this Hello movie…I would say, a must watch for a Chetan Bhagat fan else treat it as a MISSED CALL 😉 Well…my rating is 2/5. One point lost on the songs, one for the extravagant sets and costumes and one for cashing in on GOD!! 😉

 
16 Comments

Posted by on October 12, 2008 in Movies

 

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Of A holiday, “Rock On”, CCD and my experience!! :)

It was early at 10am that I got up to the alarm and headed towards home. Today being a day off due to a festival (Ganesh Chaturthi) here in India, I had dozed off last night at my friend’s place in all spirits!! Chennai is facing power cuts these days…scheduled ones…and in my area its 9am to 10:30am as per the schedule. I called up my dad who celebrates his birthday today, wished him and spoke to him on a lot of things like his plans for the day, who wished him before me, who’ll visit him, whom will he touch base with, et al…and reached my home past 10:30am just avoiding the damn power cuts. I had plans to watch Farhan Akthar’s “Rock On” this noon at Sathyam Cinemas, my favorite multiplex in Chennai. So on reaching home, read the newspapers, updated all masala into the mind, got ready and headed to the multiplex…to be joined by friends (yeah not alone this time! 😀 ) just on time!! 🙂

Now to the movie…

Man…I have no words for the movie…do not dare to miss it…

It begins with my favourite song “Socha Hai”….and the story to a certain extent is about what had happened in the past…yeah 50%+ is in flashbacks…but well shot…it juggles between the present and the past…Its about 4 friends who had formed a rock band “Magik” (yeah Magic with a ‘K’…what else with a Kapoor behind the movie!! :P) in their earlier years which went on to be famous but never made it…hmmm…

Farhan Akthar (Adithya), Arjun Rampal (Joe), Luke Kenny (Rob) and Purab Kohli (Killer Drummer – KD) form the rock band and even go on to win a contract for their first music album after winning the V-Channel sponsored talent hunt. But politics, right-outta-books-ethics and real-life-attitudes make sure that they never make it to where they would have reached if they had been allowed to record what they were best at, rock music. They get disintegrated….loose touch…10 yrs pass by…

10 yrs can change a lot of things around…so it does with these 4 musicians….

Adithya, the vocalist…is now an investment banker…married to Sakshi (Prachi Desai) who is unaware of his previous rock-star image…is running in the rat race…living what he thinks is life…to be only made to realize his folly and reunite with his band by his now pregnant wife. Brilliant acting by Farhan…the rock-star image suits best on him, but he doesn’t fit the bill as an investment banker!! 🙂

Joe, the short-tempered lead guitarist…is now without a steady job….still plays guitar at small parties and get-togethers…married to his sweetheart played by Shahana Goswami (Deeksha I guess Debbie was her character’s name)…has an eight year old son…is more of a follower than a leader….emotional. Arjun has acted well, but looks artificial in some scenes…and among the 4, he has the gals drooling allover the most!! 😛

Rob, the long-haired keyboard player…is now a technician cum player who works for/with Anu Malik (of all ppl)…is single…loosing hair…and sick! Luke has decently portrayed his part…nothing artificial about it! 🙂

KD, the killer drummer…now works for his dad in his jewellary business…loves to flirt and listen to live bands…single ready to mingle…owns a jeep….hasn’t touched the drum sticks for 10 yrs…is the jester in the movie! Purab has enacted his role which is very close to his own self, but sometimes he’s overacted…seems like he’s inspired by the role of Sameer played by Saif Ali Khan in Dil Chahta Hey (DCH). But he keeps the humor quotient up and running!! 😀

10 yrs hence…they get back together, thanks to Sakshi…and the rest of the story is all about how they give their last concert together as the rock band “Magik”!! 😀

Kudos to both the female leads….Prachi and Shahana…they have portrayed their roles to the hilt…loved the facial expressions on Shahana especially!! 🙂
Kudos to the director Abhishek Kapoor….for maintaining the Rock-concert feeling throughout the rock-concert shots!! 😀
About the music….kudos to the Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy trio…loved all the songs….favorites being “Socha hai”, “Rock on”, “Pichle saath dinon mein”, “Ye tumhari meri baatein”…in that order…and the other songs too!! 😀

A must watch is all I can say….and as displayed on the 70mm screen “Do not download the music…buy the CD”!! 😀

Once out of the multiplex, the next pit stop was the Cafe Coffee Day (CCD) near the Bessy Beach…Not facing the beach we thought was disappointing…but once inside, there were disappointments all over…we ordered…the items were served at our table…AC was on, but where we sat it was close to an expresso in terms of warmth…and before I could order another coffee (have this habit of not stopping at one mug), the dude handed over the bill…but that didnt stop me…hehe…ordered for a black coffee…parked ourselves for another half hour till we were asked “any more orders sir?” which actually meant “if nothing else you need, pls be on your way out”!! 😈

We then headed to our next favorite haunt….Bessy Beach….2-3 hours we sat…at one place….and what we talked on deserves a fresh new post altogether! Moreover, this already seems to have become a long post! 😉

So would sign off, but not before saying “Rock on”!! 😀

 
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Posted by on September 4, 2008 in Happens~2~me, Movies

 

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