Tag Archives: pain

[Social Mess-up]~When Emotions become Reactions…

Emotions are known to be something that we humans have aplenty in abundance. We emote at anything and in any situation. Emotions could be varied – good, bad, happy, sad and so on. But there is a vast difference when one shows off his/her emotions in person and when online.
Emotions displayed online, are mostly reactions is what I feel. Let me take two similar cases of such reactions on FaceBook (FB).

#1 Picture this one sad tale:
As usual, I was logged into FB on that Thursday night. A friend who had got married over a year ago, but had not shared his wedding photos on FB, had finally relented to the umpteen requests by his friends by posting about 2-3 photos of the memorable occasion.

Legend has it that, if something is not already on FB, it has never happened.

Anyway…one particular photo of the newly married couple sitting on stage, was trending, with friends ‘like’ing and posting wishes in the comment section. Now knowing him in person, I was aware that it was an old photograph. Yet, I followed others in wishing him….a mere reaction! He replied to all our comments, till about 9:30 pm that night.

I do not get to log into FB during the day time on weekdays, but I do get notifications on email/cellphone. One notification mail on that particular wedding photo read “How could this happen to you, you being such a sweet person?!”
I was kind of surprised as to why would someone say something like that on a wedding picture.

On reaching home, I first logged in to FB via that notification link to check why such a comment was made in such a happy picture. And that is when I got to know!
Unfortunately, it so happened that that very night this friend of mine had succumbed to a blockage in his heart artery (he was diagnosed & being treated for acidity, I’m told)! 😦

But then the downfalls of a social network is such that, the picture you post in an album in your profile appears on the wall of your friends! And in this case, his wedding photograph continued to get wishes…some of which were very heart wrenching like “you both look lovely…may you have many more years of happiness” and others alike.

Again a case of mere reactions!! Hmm..

#2 Two weeks ago:
On a Monday morning, my cousin’s Labrador ‘Buddy’ died.
Four years ago, when I had just joined FB I had posted a picture of Buddy & me….which had received about 2 likes and 4 comments till then.
That Monday evening, I expressed my condolences on that picture tagging my cousin. He himself had not seen that 4 yr old picture till that moment! 😛

Now for the reaction part:
Since I had dug and commented on an old picture, it was now on the walls of my FB friends.
Since they had never seen two animals in one frame they were excited which were reflected by the 25+ “likes” I got within an hour. 😉 Reaction #1.
A few of them who knew about the death put in their condolences in form of words or sad-smileys (oxymoron?) while the unaware rest discussed about how good the two look together! Reaction #2.
And then when they got to know about the actual, then they conveyed their condolences. Reaction #3.

By nature, we love to ‘follow’…don’t we?! 😀


Posted by on October 17, 2012 in Thoughts


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Pain is Good…. (Ranam Sugam…)

My eyes shed tears, when they don’t get to see you..
Music is silence to my ears, when they don’t get to hear you…
Down the memory lane, it’s more and more of pain…
In your remembrance, my world’s shrunk smaller again…

My half is in your darkness…
Your half is in my brightness…
I’m dying for a glimpse of your eye…
Without seeing you, I’m sure I would die…
The ticking clock breaks silence, nine times along…
For now I’m rewinding time, to see where I went wrong…

The day seems never ending, without your presence…
While the night gets lonelier, due to your absence…
The poetry seems to end, even before the first rhyme…
While your anger over me, grows infinitely with passing time…

Pain is good…
This pain is good…
With you beside me, even this agony’s like a blessing!! 🙂


This is the translation of the title track of the music album Ranam Sugam (Pain is Good).

You are can read more about it at:

Link: HERE

Link: HERE

Link: HERE


Posted by on April 27, 2010 in I~do~such~things, poetry


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…Sans Life…


Dedicated to the millions of innocent lives lost in the Island of Srilanka…may the peace prevail!! Hmmm…


Posted by on May 19, 2009 in poetry, Thoughts


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…and that killed the blogger…

He did what he knew he was good at. He wrote to her on his blog. That was the only way in which Shirish could express himself to her. He was never the kind to talk to girls in person. He had ended up stammering and being speechless every such time, embarassing himself. He referred to her as “Nee” (you) in his posts. His heart controlled his fingers as he typed each and every emotion of his, for Nee…

She sat in the very next cubicle…her monitor facing him. She smiled back each time Shirish smiled at her, but they never got to talking. Andrea liked the handsome and smart him, but wanted him to make the first move…unaware of his limitations. But she read every emotion, that he posted on his blog. She was his dedicated reader and loved his posts to such an extent that she even dreamt of him reading those out to her in person. By the situations that he wrote on and the emotions that he captured in his posts, she was pretty sure that it was about her. Yet she commented on those posts with her usual tinge of ignorance. All that she now waited was to hear this flow of emotions from Shirish himself. But the Sun never seemed to rise from the west, so as to say.


Shirish would post on a daily basis, his feelings for her in the form of a prose when elated and as poems when otherwise. But she loved it all, for the attention that she got. Everytime a new post alert popped up on her screen, Andrea would rush to read and comment immediately…what with his blog, being very much next to her screensaver.

Nikita, Shirish’s teammate who sat next to him was Andrea’s very good friend but she was unaware of the virtual chemistry going on between them. It was thanks to Nikita that Andrea initially became aware of Shirish’s blog.
“You know what? I think Shirish has a crush on me…cos every post of his talks about some “Nee”…And though he hasn’t confessed, I guess its Nikita….meeeeeee…His write ups are soooo romantic…blah blah…”…it was after this, that Andrea had started following Shirish’s blog…

As days passed, comments started pouring into his blog mostly from gals who wondered about who “Nee” could be, some who knew him even wondering like Nikita if it was they themselves. These very gals would rush to be the “first” to comment on his blog, each time Shirish posted. Such was the madness to be the first to comment, that people commented even before they read his post….and that left Andrea jealous and furious.
“Why do I feel jealous and angry for trivial things like these stupid gals commenting first on his post?” she did think, but only for a moment before she instantly yet furiously locked her system and accessed out of the bay.

Being in close vicinity, Shirish was a witness to all her internal fury and he for reasons unknown liked what he saw. To create this situation, he sometimes posted when she was not in her cubicle. He knew of jealously as another form of expressing love. He deeply wished that she would come and talk, something which he himself lacked in.

It broke his heart…the last two posts had been been read by her without commenting on them. Though there was no one else who would beat her in terms of ‘user visits’, her not commenting cos she couldn’t be the first one to do so was like a virtual backstab…much more painful though.

Andrea on the other hand was more interested in what others, especially the gals commented on his blog and more importantly how and what he replied back to each of them. Girls openly flirted with him asking if they were his “Nee”, and Shirish answered them vaguely taking care of not hurting any of them but on the other hand, never letting the cat out of the bag. 😉 And to her, it seemed that he tried to please and flirt with every gal that commented.  She would still smile back when Shirish did as they passed by eachother, but there was now this uneasiness that was seemingly building up!
Nikita, on the other hand was turning out to be pain in the…mmm…neck…with her constant “Ooooo Shirish wrote this (and that), and I never knew he thought so about me!”, “Ouiiii maaa…did you read his latest poem describing my eyes…I never knew my eyes were so….whatever he mentions!”…Andrea now hated Nikita…hated her more for the excitement and happiness in her than as a person in particular.

Inspite of knowing all the happenings, Shirish did only one thing he knew how best to do. He wrote for Andrea, and captured all her emotions – the anger, the frustration, the jealously, the possessiveness, the unexpressed love, the pain – like never before…
With every write up that he posted…she now silently cried…she didn’t know the reason why, but she sulked. His posts were so emotional, so virtually realistic, so meaningful that she felt it had so much of her in them than she could ever see by herself. It was now kinda too much for her to take…too much of love was becoming a pain. Every post alert seemed like a bullet pumped into her heart. Perfectly executed, and bloody merciless! She couldn’t help but click on “Stop following”!

It left him shattered…as her reading his blog eventually reduced, as indicated by the user visits. With her now not following, he was unsure about putting down his feelings for her on his blog any further. He decided to end it all, with one last post….dedicated to the one he wrote for…his “Nee”…who now seemed like she was never THE ONE to be.

He didn’t know if she would read this last post…but he believed that in someway or the other Andrea would get a clue about this post, and then he had blind faith in Nikita to spread the news, unasked! [:P]

“(B)Logging off”

It was for you that I was born online…
You read me, like you understood the thoughts of mine!

I wrote for you, cos that was the best I could do…
To say so I feared, but you know that I did/do love you!

Time and tide they say, waits for none…
I cared for nothing, cos for me you were the one!

It is not the block that’s stopping me from writing…
But it’s the widening gap in between that is biting!

With a weeping heart, I write this last one for you…
Will smile as we pass by, but write no more as I used to do!

It’s only words and not my feelings, that seem to be drying…
Let me stop the flow once for all, before you decide to stop reading!

It’s not easy, but certainly not too tough…
Dunno if I’ll ever get back but for now, am (B)Logging off!

…and that killed the blogger…

PS: I know it seems like Shirish was more into his blog’s ‘statistics’ than that of ‘Nee’! 😉


Posted by on April 26, 2009 in Stories


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A deadlock – that they call LOVE…!

I was in love with her….she was in love with me…but we were not in love with eachother! It was a very difficult time for all the three of us. It was more difficult for me, as those two gals were best of friends. I had no one to share my views or pain with…I loved her, she loved me but I was still all alone.

Sonali and Janet were my friends since a long time…Sonali was my neighbour since the time I moved into this flat 14 years ago…and Janet was her classmate since the time she started going to school…!! So I knew Janet almost for the same time, maybe a few hours less.

Coming to the point…
I loved Sonali like nuts…she was lovely but assorted when it came to her moods. She seemed to love Monu more than me. Innumerable times, have I wished that I could bark too…like her “cute and adorable” yet irritating pomeranian Monu. May be then she would have loved me! Hmmm… Her mom Sakshi loved me more, probably as she didn’t have a male child…or may be I was cute and lovable! 😉 Her dad Rajesh loved me too…when I wasn’t around his wife or daughter in his own flat. Men express love in their own passionate manner, I must add.
I was so much obsessed with Sonali those days that for every single/small thing I needed to know, I used to run to her…like for instance, 12 years ago one fine night around 11pm I sneezed 3 times in succession…So I ran down the stairs to her flat, rang the bell, Rajesh uncle opened (but who cared) the door, I ran straight to her bedroom…and asked her if she had remembered me…just to confirm if she was the reason behind my 3 sneezes! I knew something (kuch kuch) was happening, but didn’t know what….and maybe didn’t know why!
But looking back, those were the best days of my life…summer of ’95!

Janet loved nuts. She loved me too…But she never told me….I got to know of this, just a few days ago but now it is too late. She would never have loved me, had she not come to Sonali’s house, or had I not been a frequent pain to Rajesh uncle!! 😀
Since they both went to an all-girls school, I guess Janet fell for me…I am saying this cos, if I was a girl myself I would never had loved my self!! Now looking back, I can say Janet was as lovely as Sonali…but I had been blinded due to my own obsession for Sonali…!! Maybe those few hours less, made all the difference…I can never get to know…!!
I got to know about Janet’s love for me, from none other than Sonali…in whom she used to confess. Janet never told me, not even until her last breath…but she did make sure to let me know of her selfless love through my selfless love. Ah! What an unbearable pain!!  😦


Now looking back, I’m wondering as to where did things go wrong!!
Why did I love Sonali? Well…I fell in love with Sonali maybe for the reason that she was the only gal of my age in that building block…maybe for the reason that she took real good care of my little sister who was her junior in school…may be for the reason that her mom loved me…may be for the reason that I wanted to irritate her dad…maybe for the reason that something (kuch kuch) happened within me when I was around her…or just maybe for the only reason that was love.
This might have been the very reason why I wasn’t able to love Janet back…in the way she had loved me…hmm…

Now why didn’t Sonali love me? Well…maybe for the reason that she didn’t miss me enough as I was always around…may be for the reason that I was so very much within reach that I was taken for granted…maybe for the reason that she loved her dog more…maybe for the reason that Janet had confessed her love for me to her…maybe for the reason that she valued her friendship more….maybe for the reason that she didn’t want to hurt Rajesh uncle more…or just maybe for the reason that she didn’t love me at all!

Why did Janet love me? Well…maybe for the reason that I was the only guy her age she knew…maybe for the reason that she saw how passionately in love I was with Sonali…maybe for the reason that I was always around…maybe for the reason that she knew Sonali was just a friend to me…or just maybe for the only reason that it was me!

Finally as of today…
She is in love with me…I am in love with her…But we are still not in love with eachother…It is a very difficult situation for all the three of us. Sonali was too late to confess her love for me…I was indeed very late to love Janet back…and Janet was herself anyways “late”! RIP! Hmmmmmm….


Posted by on March 21, 2009 in Thoughts


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