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[Humor]~10 reasons why I love to hate my In-laws! ;)

I’m a newly married bride. I had a love marriage, so no matter what, I’ve to say that I love my husband. My MIL is very sweet, so says my husband. When in front of MIL, my FIL demonstrates the world famous characteristic of our Prime Minister – Muteness.
Now coming to the point, 10 reasons why I love to hate my in-laws:
1. They love my husband more than me.
2. They expect me and not my husband to bear them a grandchild.
3. Though I hate to sleep within closed enclosures, they expect me to get beyond my bedroom door and lock it past twilight (you know, to achieve #2). Yes, I need to take my husband with me too.
4. My husband and his parents love to drink innumerable cups of filter coffee, but hate to prepare those themselves. Though I hate to drink that brown liquid, I happen to take (read: get) orders.
5. They consider me just like their own daughter, the one they never had.
6. They see to it that I wear every available accessory to showcase that I’m married to their son, all the time. Also, I got to tag his name behind mine, officially. However, all this isn’t applicable to him.
7. I hate the daily soaps on Television. My MIL loves to watch those and if I don’t sit with her, she makes it a point to update me. Even FIL isn’t spared, for my humor.
8. They give me every opportunity to bit*h about them.
9. I’m an atheist. However, my MIL takes me to every damn temple on every damn street of this city to pray for that one and only one thing (#2).
10. I can’t be open about how I feel about them even on Facebook, for my in-laws are active (more than me) on that freaking social site! 

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Posted by on August 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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[Unapologetic Bakwaas]~Of Sarcasm and PJs!! ;)

Disclaimer: This post is for matured morons..err…mortals.
1. If you are hurt – sentimentally or religiously – by the contents of this post, you should stick to DoorDarshan and not venture into Cable Television. A definite NO on “Dish karo, wish karo” for you guys. Hmmph!
2. If you happen to smile at any letter/word/letter during the read, you deserve a pat on your back.
3. If you are expression-less – you would know what you are (or have become) by the time you have completed reading the post.

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Certain things in the world cannot be explained. There seems to be no certain way of putting things across if people don’t get the point right away.

Sarcasm is one such thing. If you are being sarcastic to someone, and if that someone doesn’t get the point – the whole point of being sarcastic is lost.

When a friend of mine was dumped by her boy friend, my two lines of sarcasm – “You had separated him from his friends, why did you not do the same with his parents? He would have wagged his tail only behind you” – was replied with a “Haan yaar…I should have consulted you before”…was not only off the target, but also made me think if her “I should have consulted you before” liner was a sarcasm-in-return too…
We were both lost in sarcasm…me knowingly and her, I guess unknowingly.

“Why being sarcastic? Can’t you tell it directly?” – had asked a friend…
She was the very one who then went on a week long “I-won’t-talk-to-you-for-being-so-insensitive” silence for me being direct about her dressing sense.
For over a year I had been telling her “With the kind of dresses you wear, you should be only on the 70mm screen and no where else”…and I would then be witness to her having 32 just-this-morning-brushed-all-white-teeth!! 😀
My year long sarcasm seemed to be of no use…she continued to wear yellow top with red bottoms, with green shoes and “matching” (??) purple purse…GGGGGGGGovinda…  😉
But when she asked me to be direct, I put the same sarcasm in simple English – “What a color combination yaar? Even B-grade actresses seem to look good on the big screen”!! 🙄

As far as the question, “Why being sarcastic?” – the answer is simple, “There’s no point in arguing with someone who make a fool out of themselves over a certain thing!” 😀

Another thing which is pretty tough to be explaned, is a PJ (poor joke). If the other person doesn’t understand the PJ you have just cracked – you feel like a total loser. You may try to make up for it, by cracking another one – but then the whole agenda behind it will seem to have lost its very effect. Moreover, it would be worse if you had laughed just after concluding your PJ. You wouldn’t know where to run, looking at the blank expression on the face(s) looking at you.

For instance, a PJ like: “If they call Vodka+Tomato Juice as Bloody Mary and Vodka+Orange Juice as Screw Driver,  then would one call Vodka+Tomato Juice+Orange Juice as  – Bloody Mary Screwed Driver?” – could have multiple reactions.

A like-mind would laugh out loud.
A moron would give a blank expression.
A bartender would try it out.
The pope (read – disclaimer) would possibly call a convention.
Mom would ask “How do you know about these cocktails?” – “Internet maa, Internet”!! :mrgreen:

So as you see, mastering the art of sarcasm and PJ-ing isn’t as easy as eating a piece of cake from another’s plate!! 😛 You can feel like a loser, not only because of you but also because of other person. Its simply of no use if they are one-way…the recipient should atleast feel that he’s being taken case of (in case of sarcasm) or is supposed to laugh (in case of a PJ). Else as I said, you wouldn’t know which direction to run towards. 😉

As I was writing this, I got a forward on my cell from a dear dost – “A woody PJ” it was titled and it read like:
“What would happen if you had a wooden car…
…with wooden seats…
…wooden tyres…
…n a wooden engine?

…it wooden start”

How many of you got this one? 😛

 
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Posted by on January 24, 2010 in Friends, I~do~such~things, Thoughts

 

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