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[Post#200]~ My name is Ram, and I’m not a God! :P

This post is in response with Blogadda’sTribute to Dad” contest.

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“I said no…”

“Dad…please dad…I’m calling you at STD rates, paa, please!”

“No…what do you think of yourself? I said no…this is Kalyug, not Dwapar or Treta yug for me to arrange you a swayamvar!!”

“But dad…I know you couldn’t help when grandpa named you Dashrath…for he himself was named Aja…but then you could have stopped this whole Ramayan, by not naming me Ram – isn’t it? How nice it would’ve been, had you named me Raj or Rahul?”

“Ram, you always complain to me about your name…who asked you to take birth during Ram-Navami? Your grandpa was so sure that Lord Ram had arrived and forced me to write your name so in the hospital records!!”

“Who asked to take birth?!! Dad, you should have planned it all properly…but then on second thoughts, what if I was born on Oct 2nd…nahi, jo hua achche ke liye hua…everything happens for its own good…”

“Huh…imagine how much of history I’ve manage to change in an otherwise ‘Perfect Ramayan’ that your grandpa wanted to script with this family of his. If I had not resisted his obsessive insanity, you would have had Bharath-Lakshman-Shatrughn along with their 2 mothers living over here.”

“Oh yeah…how did that not happen?”

“Your mom, Kousalya would have stripped me – off my skin.”

“Well dad…this is my 11th year away from home in this corporate jungle…how much ever I try to get back home, 14 years away seems to be in fate. However, during his exile he had his wife and brother for company. If Valmiki has written my whole life story then swayamvar would be a part of it. Waise bhi, it’s always better than a straightforward arranged marriage!”

“You are impossible son, simply impossible. By the way, tell me one thing. Did you by any god-forsaken chance apply to take part in that nautanki Rakhi’s Swayamvar on TV?”

“Err, well dad…I did apply….and got selected too. But then when Rakhi came to meet me, I didn’t like her nose…it seemed all plastic, as if like she’d done a nose job. Not just the nose paa, you know the…”

“Ok ok…that monkey friend of yours would have given you this idea to register for that swayamvar, didn’t he?”

“Hmmm…yeah Maddy…and he’s perfectly human Daddy…perfectly human.”

“Ya ya I know all your friends…useless fellows, they keep playing bridge all day by the beach-side”.

“Dadddd…you are deviating from the topiccc…Swayamvar…when will you host one for me? I am serious…”

“I’m doubly serious son…no swayamvar and all…I’ll find you a Sita…god knows on which island she’s waiting for you”

“Hmm…but do not name her Sita…I like Senorita, Simran or…”

“Rekha?”

“Daaaddd…I’m talking about naming my wife-to-be…you can re-name mom as Rekha, grandpa won’t comeback to haunt you…neither would mom complain…hehe”

“Shh…your mom doesn’t know about Rekha…its been a long call, STD remember??”

“Hehe…thats fine paa…By the way, Maddy is flying to Srilanka this weekend on an assignment…Is this a sign?”

“Shut up…tell him to have a safe flight and see to it that the tail doesn’t catch fire…”

“Dad…I am serious about this…what if this is a sign? I’ve anyways given him my resume and passport copy as identity proof…I think its high time for me to explore new shores.”

“You are already far away from us Ram, how much farther do you want to go? That too in search of Sita…we should have got you married before you left for what seems to be an exile!”

“Hmm…But paa…”

“And what happens if some Rakhi captures your mind with her low-cut and latest fashion clothes…I had fallen for Rekha too once, so its all in the genes…and micro-minis.”

“Err…but paa…”

“Nothing doing…listen to your paa…come over here, cos this is where you belong…We’ll find you a nice Rekha, and get you settled…I’ll put your profile on the matrimonial site, in the classified newspaper columns, open a page for you on Facebook…lets do it in a modern way Ram!”

“Ok….but paa…not Rekh…”

“No if, no butttt…you just come here…”

“Ok paa..but what about Maddy?”

“Ask that monkey to return before his back gets tanned…now keep the phone down…Kousalya is calling me from the garden!”

“Haha…ok dad…bye”

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When Ravan’s character can be twisted and made into a movie, I thought why not twist Ram’s character for a post?
How was it? 😛

For customized/personalized T-shirts, gifts, mugs, posters, teddy’s, etc…search no more, just visit www.pringoo.com – just express your individuality!! 🙂 I’ve THIS gift cos me a like paa, like son! 🙂

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16 Comments

Posted by on June 22, 2010 in Imaginative Bakwaas, Stories

 

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[Spoof-post]~ Mission Coding!!! ;)

I don’t know if anyone else has tried such monkey-tricks before…but I don’t mind pulling such ones off in a manner as humanely as possible!! 😛
This is a spoof of a post which my friend Niveditha wrote on her corporate blog…She called it ‘Mission Kitchen’ and I call mine “Mission Coding”…My piece seems more corporate, don’t you think?? Read it and you will surely disagree!! 😛 Btw to get into the groove, read the original post first, its right below my spoofy version!! 😉

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I normally get accustomed to a technical piece very easily. But there is an exception here. One area with which I have never been able to establish a certain comfort level with, is coding. 😳 I so wish I could love coding as much as I love bugging. But alas I have never been successful in coding and most often I find myself confused about the stuff found in this alien of a source piece.

When left alone with the codes I am left wondering about the weird logic that goes into making it flawlessly run, and how ever much I try I never get any inclination to learn the “art” of coding. 😉 The few things I know I can do decently are…

Raise Syntax errors as instantly as Maggi… :mrgreen:

Make a somewhat decent review, that too just for two hundred lines of code. If it is more or less, I do not know the proportion…and I end up exhausting my vocabulary of technical words.
I can make documentation. Not perfect ones, but ya decent readable/understandable ones…

I can keep bugs in the code editor… 😎

Ya.. That’s about it. There is nothing else I can do in the area of coding, and I always keep listening to one standard dialogue from my manager: “What will you do when you get fired and go? Will you feed your wife with bugs too?”

Well well… I am sure I am going to get a very adjusting wife and am sure I will learn something or the other by that time. So I keep telling my manager not to take any tension from his side. And once I finish this clichéd dialogue I get nothing except a dirty stare from him. 😳

Ah. I remember one particular incident that happened sometime ago. At that time I was much weaker in the coding area than I am now. As was the situation then, my manager used to write the logic and keep it ready for me to build on it before I came to office every Monday. I being the lazy one that I am just had to take the logic and fix it somewhere into the code.  So there I take the logic (something that I thought was logic!) and added some syntax and gave a bulk of code to the poor tester who had asked for it. But that day I felt the original code seemed different and was acting weird. It was unusually throwing exceptions and looked like it had a lot of bugs. Not bothering to actually find out I ran the code package, and so did my tester. She was sweet enough not to say anything. Once my manager was back in the evening asking for the status, I asked what the problem was with the logic. And what he said made me, my teammates and the tester giggle our guts out. That FYI mail from the manager which I thought as logic to apply were actually some similarly seeming test datas for my information which I applied into development and I did not realize that! 😳

Ya… I know you guys think it’s a tad too much. But that’s how bad I was when it came to the coding. Thankfully I am much better now.

PS:  I have made a vow to myself to learn at least some basic coding so as to survive under my manager in the future. Let me see if I keep up this promise or as usual this gets bugged like all the promises I have made to myself. :mrgreen:

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Mission Kitchen – Original post by Niveditha!! 😀

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I normally get accustomed to a place very easily. But there is an exception here. One place where I have never been able to establish a certain comfort level with, is the kitchen. 😳 I so wish I could love cooking as much as I love eating. But alas I have never been successful in cooking and most often I find myself confused about the stuff found in this alien of a place.

When left alone in the kitchen I am left wondering about the weird ingredients that go into a meal, and how ever much I try I never get any inclination to learn the “art” of cooking. 😉 The few things I know I can do decently are…

Prepare Maggi… :mrgreen:

Make a somewhat decent coffee, that too just for two. If it is more or less I do not know the proportion…

I can make dosa. Not perfect ones, but ya decent edible ones…

I can keep rice in the cooker… 😎

Ya.. That’s about it. There is nothing else I can do in the area of cooking, and I always keep listening to one standard dialogue from my mom: “What will you do when you get married and go? Will you leave your husband hungry?”

Well well… I am sure I am going to get a very adjusting husband and am sure I will learn something or the other by that time. So I keep telling my mom not to take any tension from her side. And once I finish this clichéd dialogue I get nothing except a dirty stare from her. 😳

Ah. I remember one particular incident that happened sometime ago. At that time I was much weaker in the kitchen area than I am now.  As was the situation then, my mom used to heat milk and keep it ready for me to have my complan every Saturday before she left for office. I being the lazy one that I am just had to take the milk and pour it into my glass.  So there I take the milk (something that I thought was milk!) and added some complan and gave a glass of milk to the poor maid who had asked for it. But that day I felt the milk looked different and weird. It was unusually frothy and looked like it had a lot of water. Not bothering to actually find out I drank down the contents of my glass, and so did my maid. She was sweet enough not to say anything.  Once my mom was back in the evening I asked what the problem was with the milk. And what she said made me, my mom and the maid laugh our lungs out. That vessel which I thought was milk actually had buttermilk and I did not realize that! 😳

Ya… I know you guys think it’s a tad too much. But that’s how bad I was when it came to the kitchen. Thankfully I am much better now.

PS:  I have made a vow to myself to learn at least some basic cooking so as to survive in my in-laws house in the future. Let me see if I keep up this promise or as usual this goes hiding like all the promises I have made to myself. :mrgreen:

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Don’t call me insane/mad/besharam/anything…I know all that I am!! 😛

 
8 Comments

Posted by on September 23, 2008 in I~do~such~things

 

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