[Rakhi Rants]~ I use Shower, not Buckets! :*

Disclaimer: The spellings and typos evident below are natural and inbuilt the author of the article. The Blog owner is not to be crucified for the same. Read at your own risk, for I did not write this!

Hello my phavorate people, I’m the back again to tell you about me. I know you would be complaining that this time Rakhi is late or thinking she is angry, but do not worry as all eez well. Btw, this is only my January rant post ok? Thanks to my bijee schedule it’s being posted in February. Hope you all got your shalary-walary.

This January has been full of work as I was travelling with my shuitcase all over Aushtralia. No, this time I didn’t go to meet the plashtic shurgeons. I was there at Melbourne, Perth, Shydney and Ade-laid cheering the Aushtralians. 4-0 : Poonam Pandey, BEAT THAT! Huh! 

Note: I’m an Indian fan by birth but I’m not going to support the team that gives its winning credits to someone like Ms. Pandey. You know this Poonam no, she has this guts to look into my eyes and say that the letter P in IPL stands for Poonam. Since there is no R in IPL, I can’t argue. So she beats me hands and clothes down.

My fans bring in so much of joy, by Jeejuuuus, what can I say?!! I was shedding happy tears on the 9th of January, when I got to know from this blog owner that this e-special fan of mine has requested me to write something called as the bucket list. Whatever that was, requests are rare to me. Thank you Rumya (oho…both our names begin with shame letter too…XoXo!) for challenging me. Btw, you know what? Too much of happy tears proved costly as tissues are very costly in Aushtralia.
I didn’t know what a bucket-list is as I use shower to take bath. Also I didn’t know what a meme is, but then this blog owner is very kind hearted (and sadly, married!). I demanded e-special trainings to make me understand. I’ve heard them say: Geniuses are not born, but made. So I keep trying hard.

Ok, so let me the share with you some of my shower droplets:
1. I love Aaamir Khan. I wish he would do what Mika did with me. If this happens I’ll not wish for anything else, not even the below wishes. Mother Promish.
2. One day I want to be on the cover page of Vogue – in a sharee. You see, I’m just a desi girl with angrezi dreams.
3. I want to do what Soniya Gandhi did. Marry a foreigner who’s a politician on the way to become the President or Prime-Minister of his country. I’m not able to decide between Fransh and Etaly.
4. I want to Bungee Jump at leasht once. I know how it feels to be pushed down but not how it feels to jump down.
5. To become the Preshident of India. I think I can satishfactorily do what the Preshident of India does. I’m excited to know she currently has 64 shecurity men around her, but my favorite number is just five more than that.
6. To one day do a main female lead role in an A-grade Bollywood movie opposite Hrithik Roshan. Maybe even e-spread a rumor about a relationship with him. I want to see some reactions on Sujanne’s expressionless face.
7. After retirement (I pray to jeeejjuussss everyday to poshtpone this) from limelight, I want to go to Vatican city and meet the Pope. Something tells me, he’s waiting to meet me.
8. I dreamt of meeting Mr. Shteve Jobs in person. He went to Jeejuuuus. Now in my sleep, I dream of meeting Mr. Huge Hefner. And oh! I don’t mind being his playing partner…I’m all game.
9. I’ve been fixed by the media with many phamous personalities before. I’m shtill waiting for that dream fix – Mr. Sulman Rushdie – for I believe our names have a rhythm in them…Sulman Rushdie and Sawant Rakhi….is rhyming and fully in-flow. Moreover, I love bald men (Aaamir, plsh note…I fell for you in Ghajini! 😉 ) with round shpectacles (Rahul baba, plsh note! 😀 )!

Ok, so there ends my lisht. Yes only nine small wishes there, for the shimple girl that I am. 😀

Rakhi Joke of last month – Rakhi to play main lead opposite Abhishek Bachchan in a movie titled ‘Dostana3’. (I didn’t get it – neither the movie role nor the joke! 😦 )

PS1: I’ve warned the Blog owner not to make any changes to the article in the name of corrections. He the destroyed ‘Rakhi ishshtyle of writing’ in the last two rant poshts. Bawra! He said he will only put down a dishclaimer at the beginning of this rant. The kind hearted me, agreed.
PS2: How do I look in this new photo? HEY! HEY! HEY! You the tell me.

Anyway, let me get back to my bijee schedule. So till you get your next pay check…bbye! 🙂
All of Yours, Rakhi THE Sawant! 😀