All in the NEWS…and more! ;)

06 Jan

Disclaimer: All I have written down could make sense to those who have it in them…These could be facts, imaginations, expectations and every form of nonsense. If you are a Pakistani, NO I cannot give you any proof for anything written here…

1) The only thing to happen since the 26/11 attacks on Mumbai, is NOTHING!
Pakistan needs proof when their own soldier says he’s from that damn country out of which India was born or got its independence in 1947 (You won’t believe? Read the social studies syllabus of 2nd to 8th grade text books that the kids read there!!)!! The proof that India gave is not credible…what the pak!!!
Our Next Try: Write whatever we want them to read and understand, from right to left…

2) Delhi, the capital of India is being tarnished due to 2 things (which I want to point out)…
One…is the political scenario…they simply can’t take decisions…When our respected PM talks in that feminine tone, we laugh…just imagine how greener the enemy camp could get giggling to glory!
Mr. PM, stop throwing flowers at your Pak counterparts to see if it hurts them…Take a decision and stop requesting!! Remember you are a nuclear power now…why bend and get screwed by a nation where terrorism is a state policy?
Our Next Try: If not war and nuclear…atleast export Antrax, HIV, Smallpox, Chikungunya, Mayawati, Naqvi and all such good viruses to them as a token of peace!
Two…is the behavior of testosterone driven males…stop abducting and raping helpless young women you a**hole* (‘s’ doesn’t work in my keyboard, sometimes…)!! Maa-behen nahin hey kya?
Our Next Try: To castrate each offender and send them to our favorite neighboring country…Pak!! ๐Ÿ™‚

3) I couldn’t wait for “Slumdog Millionaire” to release in India after reading one awesome review after other about how good the movie is, in the various corporate blogs! I searched for a torrent, got one with a good print (a small 4MB sample was given to check the print) and downloaded it…Watched it the very moment it was downloaded and ready!! And you know what…
I simply loved it….the hype did make sense. The concept, the screenplay, the background music, the acting, the fast pace – each of it was awesome! Do watch it….after it releases in India on 23rd of this month or before that!!! ๐Ÿ™‚
Our Next Try: To release a movie having “India” in it as central topic/matter, FIRST IN INDIA!! Sigh!

4) Whatever movie stars do, becomes the talk of the town…
Abhishek Bachchan had a haircut…and now the hottest question in the media is – “Do you like AB Baby’s new haircut?” – if you ask me, he looked GAY!!

ab-babyย Waise…I heard of an interesting masala with respect to the Bachchan Family…
I got to hear that: Amitabh is a Casanova…Aishwarya (like Rekha before) is his “keep”…Jaya is a drug-addict (Ah! our respectable RajyaSabha member)…and AB baby is GAY with a Spanish (or wherever) boyfriend (yes, AB baby is the GF in the relationship – Now dont you feel he was so natural in his Dostana role?)!! Now I don’t know if its true/false/no-comments…but a reply-comment from any of these 4 or Amar Singh (Jaya runs to him when high, is another angle ;)) would be considered valid. Even from the Spanish DUDE would be accepted! ๐Ÿ˜€
Our Next Try: To not make these filmi people, our idols and role models…

5) God knows whats happened to Australia…the way they are playing, even Bangladesh and Zimbabwe could fancy their chances!! Maites, whats up? why so down and under?
The South Africans are beating them black and blue…giving credits to India for being an inspiration (the 2001 Australian tour of India…remember the Kolkata test match?) and thus screwing the Maites mentally too!! ๐Ÿ˜€
Our Next Try: To educate the Australians that they should play on the cricket field and not try to analyse the similarity between Maa-ki and Monkey!! Its not the same Maite!!


DD news used to end with weather report…So well…Lemme also try predicting…

Weather is hot…What with Deepika celebrating her 23rd birthday and our Hot Bipasha didi celebrating her 30th one!!ย  ๐Ÿ˜‰

Samaachar samaapth…Namaskar!! ๐Ÿ˜€


Posted by on January 6, 2009 in I~do~such~things, Thoughts


Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

18 responses to “All in the NEWS…and more! ;)

  1. Revs

    January 7, 2009 at 8:59 am

    Oh man!! Loved the satire in this one!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    We want more news(like this!! :P)!! Make this a regular series!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Annapoorani

    January 7, 2009 at 11:47 am

    Sree a post straight from your heart….An excellent one..expecting lotta news bulletins like this ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. chriz

    January 7, 2009 at 12:25 pm

    that was an agry man.. laughed at AB

    and deepika is 23.. oh am in love yet again…

    that was straight from your heart.. appreciate it..

  4. Sree

    January 7, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    @ Revs,

    hehe…thanks buddy…ya since this news reader isn’t paid, will do it now and then!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    @ Anna,

    Sure sure why not!! ๐Ÿ˜›
    Thanks buddy!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    @ Chriz,

    Another Deep follower eh? Good good…more the merrier! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thanks buddy!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  5. Pavithra

    January 8, 2009 at 3:14 am

    Hey superb one, especially for NRI’s like me, i need a regular samachar!!! [:-)]

  6. jayanthi

    January 8, 2009 at 5:01 am

    lol….awesome dude….the best news ever….the AB family story is little too over imaginative minds result i guess…too filmy for a gossip too..hehe….and no comments on who’s mind it wud have been…
    waise tere mind mein ye kaise aaya ๐Ÿ˜€

  7. Aishwarya

    January 8, 2009 at 11:10 am

    Satire at it’s best S3!
    Mazaa aa gaya! ๐Ÿ˜€
    The last one was ROFLling!

  8. amrita

    January 8, 2009 at 11:40 am

    “Twoโ€ฆis the behavior of testosterone driven malesโ€ฆstop abducting and raping helpless young women you a**hole* (โ€™sโ€™ doesnโ€™t work in my keyboard, sometimesโ€ฆ)!! Maa-behen nahin hey kya?”

    mera bas chale to shoot kar du , & i dont think its related to testosterone it’s just mental degradation

    “- โ€œDo you like AB Babyโ€™s new haircut?โ€ – if you ask me, he looked GAY!!”
    so gay ,so gay ,maa ka ladla bigad gaya

    Oh & by the way that rumour might not be wrong at all , have u seen the abhi-ash wedding video?? funnniest thing was that when the nu couple were doing their pheras , senior bachhan couple were also following them (literally) !!!!!!!!!!

    ps – how can deepika be only 22???

    reason 1- I’m 21 and not half as tall as her ๐Ÿ˜ฆ
    reason 2 – I’m 21 & dont have ranbir ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

    pps – waiting for slumdog millionaire too ๐Ÿ™‚

  9. Archana

    January 8, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    mail me if u need slumdog’s good torrent…. ve downloaded to watch this weekend…

  10. Sree

    January 8, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    @ Pavi,

    Oyeee..ya na…u r an NRI…phew…sure sure! ๐Ÿ˜€

    Thanks buddy!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    @ AABBB,

    Hey nahi re…I didnt cook it up! believe me! ๐Ÿ˜›
    I have an equally crazy set of friends! Heard it from them…could be true too as Amrita says!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Thanks a lot buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

  11. Sree

    January 8, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    @ Aishu,

    Hehehe…Mazaa lelo…sachaayi mein hi sahi mazaa hey!! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thanks buddy!! ๐Ÿ˜€

    @ AKB,

    It would be a great watch…enjoy it!! ๐Ÿ˜€
    Thanks buddy!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  12. Sree

    January 8, 2009 at 7:41 pm

    @ Amrita,

    Sirf shoot nahi re…mazaaa nahi aaya…jo kaatna hey woh kaatke shoot karne ka!!! Be the Brutal best to such psychos!!
    Lolz…ya bigad gaya…hamesha ke liye! ๐Ÿ˜›
    Haan kya…woh video nahi dekha…is it available on youtube…wahan pe saala actual mein bada B vishwasundari se bhyaa rachata hey…aur apna chota and uski maa timepass kar rahe the…
    Hehe…may u turn 22 and get your manchaha Ranbir!! ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Thanks buddy!! ๐Ÿ˜€

  13. Srikanth

    January 9, 2009 at 8:39 am

    Nice post.. But I was a touch surprised on the take on the bit involving Pakistan… Do not want to post a serious comment and ruin the mood of the post but hey its not the people of Pakistan, just the people in positions of leadership that are the problem…

  14. Sree

    January 9, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    @ Sri,

    Oopz….man…By Pakistani, I actually meant the people who have Pak in their pockets…not the aam janta (common public)!! Sorry if that hurt u or anyone out there!! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Thanks for liking the post buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

  15. Deepali

    January 12, 2009 at 9:58 am

    awesome awesome post!!!
    looking forward to more such updates

  16. Sree

    January 12, 2009 at 11:35 pm

    @ Deepali,

    Nice to know you liked it…! ๐Ÿ™‚
    Let ppl keep making News, I’ll have my take here! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Thanks buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€

  17. Niveditha

    January 16, 2009 at 9:30 am

    yikes.. thats ab’s new haircut??
    is he losing his hair in repentance for marrying aish? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  18. Sree

    January 16, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    @ Nive,

    hehe…yeah…that seems to be it…so gay! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    That I dont know…does that happen post marriage? ๐Ÿ˜›
    Thanks buddy! ๐Ÿ˜€


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